New Hopes
by bebes
Summary: The killing machines may have been destroyed, but war with Scanra continues. Kel still has her refugees to protect, and the long northern winter to get through, before fighting picks up again in the spring. Picks up at the end of Lady Knight.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** Picks up after Lady Knight, to the evening of Raoul and Buri's wedding. I've got a fair bit written, and will update periodically. Let me know what you think!

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Kel sighed happily, idly stroking Tobe's hair as he dozed with his head in her lap. She smiled, watching as the men of Third Company laughed and drank, enjoying this holiday and their Commander's happiness. If that knight and his new wife weren't still laughing at the antics of the Own and grinning foolishly at one another, she probably would have gone to bed, if nothing else than for Tobe's sake. He flatly refused to be parted from her, even to go to his much needed bed.

When Dom plopped down next to her on the bench, she gave him a quick grin. "Having a good evening, Sergeant?"

Dom's answering grin was wide, his cheeks slightly flushed. Raoul didn't drink as a rule, and under normal circumstances his men tended not to drink in front of him, but the Commander had purchased several barrels of ale for his men to celebrate his wedding, and no soldier would let such a gift go to waste. No one was drunk, but many of the men of the Own and the Riders had enjoyed a tankard or two. Kel had refrained, not wanting a blinding headache in the morning. "Oh, yes. I'm glad to have something to do before the winter boredom sets in. We don't even have the joys of building a refugee camp and designing a flag for a certain lady knight to distract us this year." He winked at her, making her shake her head and laugh. He and his squad had helped to build her first refugee camp, Haven, as well as making a flag for her that had greeted her arrival.

"I do like that flag. I was very impressed with the embroidery skills of your men." Tobe shifted slightly, draping one arm around her waist.

"That little man," Dom nodded at Tobe, "hasn't let you out of his sight since you arrived."

"Well, he's yet to forgive me for running after my refugees without him. He's convinced I'll disappear on him again if he lets me. I can barely even get him to let me alone while I'm bathing."

Dom laughed. "Well, Mother, I don't think any of your friends were too pleased you didn't invite them along on your little Scanran jaunt."

Kel's smile turned slightly sad. "I was glad to have you along. I still have to find a way to thank my Lord for giving you your orders. I half thought you were lying to me when you told me he'd sent you."

Dom didn't ruffle her hair as he had when she was a squire, he just tucked a piece behind her ear before giving her a one armed hug around the shoulders. She supposed it was because she was wearing it a bit longer these days, the ends reaching just under her chin. "Well, I can't guarantee my squad wouldn't have wandered off to find you if he hadn't. It was hard work getting you trained up. We would have hated to have to do it again with another one."

She peeled his arm off her, putting it back in his own lap. She could keep her face smooth despite his nearness; her heart wasn't so obedient, her pulse rushing erratically. "I'd have hated to inconvenience you all," she said, voice dry.

They both looked over to another table, whose occupants were pounding it's surface rhythmically. Alanna and Wolset had tankards tilted back, gulping the contents as quickly as they could. Alanna was the first to slam down the empty, her face split in a grin as her husband, who'd managed the trip from the south for the wedding, just shook his head. Dom nudged her in the ribs."You better hope the other lady knight doesn't remember you. She loves to get competitive."

"Ye gods, I hope not. I can't even have a glass of wine these days without a raging headache in the morning. I'll have to ask her to stick to the practice courts."

They spent a few moments in silence, both looking out at the men of Third Company and those Rider groups that had been able to come, with the smattering of women thrown in. It was a comfortable silence, relaxed and easy. Dom was the one to break it. "It's funny to see you in a dress."

Kel managed not to wince. She sometimes hated having such a hopeless crush on Dom. At least he didn't know; that was the only thing that helped in these moments. She did put an affronted frown on her face. "Well, thanks, Dom."

He back-pedaled frantically. "I didn't mean funny, I meant, well, just different. It's nice." He paused. "You look nice."

She exchanged the frown for a sardonic grin. "No wonder the court ladies are all swooning over you. You have such a way with words." She sighed. "It's Buri's fault I'm in this thing. I'd brought my Mindelan dress tunic to wear. Of course, my former maid had made a dress for me when Buri told her I would be at the wedding. She made Buri's dress as well and Buri decided she wouldn't be the only one in a dress today. She cornered me as soon as I got here, telling me she would have my Lord stuff me into the thing if I balked."

He gaped at her for a moment before breaking out into laughter. "If she'd done the same to me, I would be here in a dress. That woman is far more terrifying than she has any right to be. How does someone half a foot shorter than either of us manage to loom so?"

Kel grinned before taking a sip of cider. "I really don't know." She sighed and looked at the boy asleep in her lap. "I really should put him to bed, even if I am still awake."

"I'll keep you company for a bit, if you like. I need to keep away from the Lioness. I'm supposed to be taking my squad on patrol tomorrow and I'd like for at least one of us to not be too hungover to move."

Kel thought for a moment before she nodded. She really wasn't ready to sleep yet, and sitting in her room reading just wasn't appealing. "Of course. I just need to say goodnight to the happy couple."

She stood, carefully hoisting Tobe into her arms. He'd gained a bit of weight thanks to regular meals, but he was still an easy burden. He didn't even wake, just wrapped his arms around her neck before snuggling his face into it. Buri smiled at the boy when she said goodnight, and both she and Raoul gave her a quick kiss on the cheek before going back to chatting with those around them. She waved quickly at Neal and Yuki, who barely looked at her before they had their eyes locked on one another again.

She was housed in the officers' quarters at Steadfast, in a small room with a bed, writing desk and even smaller dressing room. When she walked in with Dom behind her, Jump was already curled up on her bed, his belly full of all the scraps he'd begged at the evening meal. She gestured for Dom to take the chair, then tucked Tobe into the pallet he'd insisted be made up in one corner and started to stoke up the hearth fire. Even fall this far north was cold, and her room felt icy after the warmth of the crowded mess. Once she had the fire crackling merrily, she shifted Jump so she could sit on the bed.

"Would you like a cup of tea?" Buri had also brought a package from Kel's mother, which included fresh green tea from the Islands and the whisk and bowls used for it. Kel loved fresh green tea, and was thoroughly enjoying having it.

"Why not?" Dom made as if to help her, but she waved him away. The room was small enough without the two of them getting in each other's way. She filled the kettle and swung it out into the fire on the iron hook set into the hearth for such purposes.

While the water heated, she set out the delicate bowls after she shifted the writing desk so they could both use it as a table. She loved the tea set her mother had sent her, from the beautiful lacquered box that everything nestled into to the crackled blue glaze on the bowls. Dom picked up one of the bowls and examined it. "What are these?"

Kel smiled very slightly. She probably should have specified what type of tea she was going to have. "They're tea bowls, from the Yamani Islands. I'm making green tea. My mother sent it up with Buri, and it's so nice to have it again."

He set the bowl down carefully and looked at her before he spoke. "That explains the Yamani face you've got on."

"Excuse me?"

He waved slightly at her head. "Your face has gone all still. You always do that when any of the Yamani ladies are around, or when you don't want to relax and joke around. It's been a while since I've seen it." He smiled at her, and she was forced to smile back. Somehow she couldn't help but smile when he grinned at her like that.

"So," she changed the subject, "how do you think my Lord is going to enjoy married life?"

"Knowing the two of them, it's going to be anything but sedate. Raoul's toast was very amusing. I had no idea you were the one who finally pushed them together."

She moved the kettle off the fire, carefully pouring the steaming water into the two bowls. "I just told him to bring her to a family party. I mean, anyone could see that they cared for each other, I just gave them a very gentle prod and they figured it out themselves. He really didn't need to give me any credit."

She fell silent as she prepared the tea, carefully whisking the powder into the hot water while Dom watched her. She was uncharacteristically nervous, but she put it to one side, focusing on the ritualistic process of making tea. Her motions were precise as she used the whisk to beat it until she had a bit of foam. When she was finished, she handed Dom his cup with a bow, not pointing out that he should bow as well. She only ever preformed the most basic tea ceremony, and she certainly couldn't expect him to know the appropriate responses.

She was slightly surprised when he spoke after taking his first sip. She was so used to drinking green tea with her family or the Yamani ladies, who always took a few moments to savor the tea before taking up conversation. "This is nice. It's bitter, but it's nice."

She nodded slightly. "I'm always after Mama to send me some. So, is Third Company enjoying the lull in combat?"

Dom took a slow sip of his tea before responding. "Well, it's more entertaining now that so many of the Riders are here. Of course, if they don't leave soon, the jokes we play on each other are going to reach truly inappropriate heights." Kel raised her eyebrows. She didn't even know that there was any prank Dom would consider inappropriate. "Speaking of which, if Commander Larse asks, I was with you this morning."

Now she grinned. "Well, if I'm going to vouch for you, I need to know what you got up to."

His own grin was wicked. "Let's just say he's not going to be amused when he cleans his teeth tonight. I'm not saying anything more, I wouldn't want to spoil the surprise."

They both looked over at Tobe when he shifted suddenly and sat up. His voice was small, wavering slightly. "My Lady?" He was still mostly asleep.

She smiled at him, patting a spot on the bed beside her. "I'm here. Come sit and go back to sleep."

He quickly hopped up onto the bed, pulling a blanket over himself before he lay his head back in her lap and returned to sleep. Dom gave Kel a half smile. "Mother is getting to be a more and more appropriate nickname for you, Kel."

Kel stroked Tobe's hair. "He's been having nightmares since we got back from Scanra. They're less often these days, but when we first got back I would always find him in my bed by morning." She laughed quietly. "That first morning in New Hope, I had all the orphans in with me when I woke. It brought back a lot of memories of Haven for them, sleeping indoors again. It's getting better."

Dom smiled. "Well, at least you'll be warm this winter. There were points last year when I was tempted to crawl in with Lerant." Kel smiled at the thought of Dom getting into bed with the very prickly standard bearer.

"He might be easier to pass the night with than this lad." She patted Tobe's head. "I don't understand how a creature can be made completely of elbows, but he is."

He laughed with her. When she noticed that his cup was empty, she offered him more tea, and he accepted. She wasn't looking at him when he started speaking, focused on whisking the tea properly, but there was a tone in his voice she couldn't identify. "I hear Kennan got married this summer."

She looked at him, blinking in surprise. "Well, he went home to marry in the spring, so that really isn't surprising." She grinned, passing him his frothy tea. "I was so relieved when he told me this past spring, which is awful, but it's true. I was just happy I didn't have to tell him I wasn't in love with him."

Dom laughed with raised eyebrows, an odd combination. "The poor man. You sent him off with tears in your eyes, letting him think he was breaking your heart?"

She laughed and shook her head. She loved the easy friendship she had with Dom, how he was comfortable enough with her to joke about anything. "There were no tears. I was sorry; he wasn't happy to be married off and he did love me. Gods, though, the thought of marriage makes my blood run cold."

Dom laughed at her shudder. "It's official; you've spent too much time with the Own." She laughed with him. After a moment he continued, slightly more serious. "I thought you would have been more upset that your lover married someone else."

She ran her fingers over the rim of her bowl, studying the details of the glaze. "We were just stepping out together. We went such long periods without seeing each other, which made it impossible to ever really be serious." She couldn't say that they hadn't slept together. That was a bit too personal to discuss with Dom. She didn't, however, want him to think he needed to have a word with the man who'd jilted her.

Dom was frowning when she glanced up at him through her eyelashes. After a second or two, his eyes widened slightly. He tried to cover his surprise by taking a sip of tea, but years in the Yamani Islands had trained her in recognizing the slightest reaction. He understood what she meant. "Cleon certainly seemed to think things were serious." She shrugged, not wanting to explain that the attachment was always stronger on his side. "Well, since you're so calm about the whole thing, I'll have to tell the lads of Third Company to stand down." She gave him a puzzled glance. "We weren't too happy when we heard he got married. That's why I asked if you'd heard." He sighed slightly. "I was elected to feel the situation out. Now I know we don't need to have a special reception planned for him when he returns to the border in the spring.

Kel nearly went slack-jawed in shock. "Dom! What were you going to do?"

The sergeant shrugged. "We hadn't made any specific plans yet, but winter is long and boring. I'm sure we would have been very inventive. You're like a sister to most of Third Company, and Lord Raoul basically thinks you're his daughter."

She tried not to wince at Dom casually stating he basically thought of her as a sister. She knew her crush was pretty hopeless, but it wasn't enjoyable to be reminded of that. She had another thought. "My Lord didn't plan on getting... inventive, did he?"

The grin on Dom's face was positively gleeful. "I think he planned on being the most inventive of all." She felt her cheeks warm slightly. She was mortified. "I'll let him know it's not necessary." She reached out and clasped his hand in gratitude. "If you'd like, I could also let him know he might want to have a word with Kennan's former knight master as well."

She gripped his hand tighter. "Oh, ye gods, not Inness too?" Dom nodded. "You're all insane, I hope you know that." He grinned at her, stroking her palm with his thumb. "Don't you idiots think that if I wanted to teach him a lesson, I'd just make him spend a day in the practice courts with me?" She snatched her hand back, trying to quell the butterflies that had started thrashing about in her stomach.

"We've no doubt you could, but you're far too sensible for that." He leaned back in his chair, putting his hands behind his head.

"Thank Mithros. Someone has to have some sense with all of you around. I don't know how you manage without me."

He sighed dramatically. "It is difficult. You were so much more fun to flirt with than Wolset."

She giggled loudly, then stifled it so as not to wake Tobe. "You are terrible." She smiled, then sighed. "I need to get to bed. I'm going to spar with Yuki in the morning and it's going to be embarrassing for me as it is, let alone if I'm asleep on my feet. When do you go on patrol?"

He smiled, standing and shifting the desk back to its proper place. "Noon. Are you interested in riding along?"

She gave him a quick smile, shifting Tobe off her lap so she could stand. "If Yuki doesn't keep me in the practice yards all day, I'll be glad to."

"Good." She opened the door for him. "I'll look for you before we head out, though I'm sure I'll see you in the morning. It was always entertaining to see you and the Yamanis using those glaives against each other." He leaned into her and brushed a quick kiss over her cheek. He smiled widely at her and she kept her face smooth with effort. "G'night Kel."

"Good night Dom." She gave him a long-suffering look before she shut the door firmly. She undressed quickly, leaving on her long chemise, cleaning her teeth and giving her face a scrub before blowing out the candles and shifting Tobe in her bed. "Mind your elbows, Tobe." She felt him nod slightly as he hugged her. She sighed, brushed a kiss across his forehead and closed her eyes.


	2. Chapter 2

Kel managed to rise just before dawn as usual, but had Jump not been scratching at the door, closed unlike it always was at home, she probably would have spent more time abed. At least she'd opened the windows for the sparrows, though they were a bit more sensible and still dosing. As she was up anyway, she stretched and cleaned her teeth, getting Tobe to do his as well. Of course, as soon as she'd gotten out of bed to let the dog out he insisted on getting up as well.

She knocked on Yuki's door, expecting to go down to the practice yards with her, but there was no answer. She assumed her Yamani friend, who'd remained at the party after she'd left, was still sleeping. She and Tobe decided to eat and get practice in later in the morning. The mess hall was practically empty when they went to find some breakfast. Most of Steadfast would spend today recovering from last night's celebration. Once she and Tobe had settled across from one another with steaming bowls of porridge, she smiled at the boy. "So, Tobe, did you have fun at the wedding."

He was thoughtful before he replied. "It was nice. I shouldn't've fallen asleep though. Why was Sergeant Dom in our room?"

She tousled his hair briefly. "You fell asleep, and I didn't want to go to bed yet, so Dom came and had a cup of tea with me." He nodded before sticking his overflowing spoon into his mouth. "Do you want to go on a patrol with his squad today? It'll be more fun than sitting around here all day with nothing to do."

"Where are they going on patrol?"

She shrugged. "Does it matter?" He smiled up at her. "It'll be fun, and you can try out some of that cold weather gear we got you." Since it was turning chilly, she'd expanded Tobe's wardrobe. He now had a coat lined with fleece, fur lined hat and gloves, thick woolen hose to wear under his breeches, a fleece lined jerkin and a woolen scarf. He wouldn't need all that today, but he could give the coat a go, and maybe the hat and gloves.

The boy sighed. "I hate new clothes."

She tried not to laugh. She knew what he meant, but he was being a bit silly. "Well, you'll hate being cold more. I won't have you freezing your toes off." She showed him a smile. "You know I don't want to be called miserly."

She was surprised when another bowl, followed by a person, plunked down beside her. It was Dom. He smiled at her comment. "You do have your reputation to maintain. Morning Kel, Tobe."

The boy nodded. "Hello Sergeant," he said around a bite of porridge.

"Swallow before you speak, Tobe," she scolded. To Dom she added, "Good morning. I'm surprised you're up already."

He gave her a half smile. "I thought you'd be practicing with Yuki. I'd planned on teasing Meathead about his very deadly bride-to-be, but none of you were there."

"I think they were up later than we were. I knocked on her door this morning and got no response. I'm sure she'll be down eventually. She does love to practice glaive with me. Especially when I'm a bit rusty." She passed him the honey pot when he gestured at it, trying not to stare at him a bit as he spooned the amber liquid into his porridge.

"So, Tobe, did you torture your lady with your elbows all night?"

She elbowed the sergeant none too discretely, but Tobe replied anyway. "Not too much, I don't think. She's good to sleep with. She can always chase away the nightmares."

He said it so casually, with pure honesty, that Kel just wanted to gather him into a hug. Dom, of course, had to make a joke. "Well, that's good to know. Kel, next time I have a nightmare, do you mind if I crawl in with you?" His tone was seriously good natured, but somehow his eyes managed to smile.

For her part, she glared at him quickly before returning her face to her normal neutral expression and focusing on her breakfast. Tobe wasn't helping matters. "I don't know if there'd be room for you. There's me, and Jump, and the sparrows, and Irnai and sometimes Loey if she has a nightmare."

Kel wanted to drop her face in her hands, and tried to ignore Dom's grin. She really wished she could vanish. Finally, she managed to speak. "Maybe there would be some space for you on the floor, Dom."

He sighed, putting a hand to his chest as if she'd wounded him. "As always, relegated to shiver away on the floor. You are a cruel woman, lady knight."

Now she smiled. "As always? If that's where your court ladies put you, Dom, I don't think you're going about it the right way." She grinned when he choked on a bite of porridge. Served him right for teasing her. "So where are you going on patrol?"

He coughed, clearing his throat before he could respond. "Just to the waypost that's on the way to Mastiff and back. Should be about a four hour ride, all told, plus long enough to swap correspondence."

She nodded, then looked at Tobe. "What do you say, boyo? Shall we let Hoshi and Charm stretch their legs?" He'd decided his piebald mare had given him good luck, and he'd used that to find her a name. Kel thought it fit the good natured horse well.

Tobe sighed, seeming to weigh the options. Finally he responded. "I suppose, if my Lady wishes, we can go on patrol."

Kel grinned at Dom, who rolled his eyes at her. They'd all finished their breakfast and were chatting about nothing in particular when Yuki arrived, in practice gear, with Neal in tow. "There you are!" Kel exclaimed. "I knocked on your door this morning, but you were still asleep."

If she hadn't known the Yamani woman so well, she wouldn't have suspected anything was amiss when she popped open her fan, using it to obscure the lower half of her face. Her voice was completely bland when she replied. "Did you? I really was very tired, I must not have heard your knocking."

Kel kept her own face Yamani still, though she wanted to laugh out loud, and wished she had a fan to hide a smile behind. Her friend had not been in her own room this morning. She didn't think that was a bad thing, especially as she and Neal were betrothed, but the Yamani was embarrassed, and would be more so if Kel openly teased her about it. She would have to be subtle. "Perhaps I will knock louder tomorrow." The other woman snapped her fan shut firmly. The Tortallans seemed to have no idea that Kel was teasing Yuki, or that Yuki was struggling to appear serene. Kel herself was having difficulty remaining calm, but reacting now would shame her friend, so she kept her face perfectly blank. "Shall we go to the practice courts then?" Yuki nodded and preceded them out, which gave her a moment to collect herself, and gave Kel a moment to pick up her practice glaive from where she'd left it leaning against a wall in the mess.

The two women warmed up with the equivalent of a pattern dance for two people. It was a set of proscribed cuts and blocks, worked in sequence. Yuki chose the pattern called the Walking Crane, and the two women chatted in Yamani as they began.

"So, Yukimi, your evening must have been very entertaining to cause you to sleep so late." Kel knew her friend would pay her back for this once the sparring started, but she couldn't help it. Yuki should at least be happy she spoke in Yamani; Neal hadn't even learned any yet and no one else here had any reason to know the language.

"Perhaps I should ask you a similar question, Keladry. Did you have an interesting discussion with the sergeant before you went to sleep?"

Kel blocked a quick series of cuts while making the necessary spinning turns. "I introduced the sergeant to green tea. He let me know that everyone in Third Company thinks of me as a sister." She took care not use any words of Common that the men who watched them might catch. Yuki was one of the few people, along with Shinko, who knew of her long lasting crush on Domitan of Masbolle. It was one of the few things Kel had made Yuki swear on her ancestors to never tell Neal.

It was Yuki's turn to block a series of cuts. "Why did he say that?"

Kel went down in the tumble that was the next part of the series, rising to her knees and bringing up the glaive to block Yuki's downward strike. Once she was back on her feet she replied, thinking how to mention Cleon without using his name. "He let me know that his men were planning on having a discussion with the tall, red headed knight, and not to congratulate him on his marriage. I had to explain that it was not necessary."

Yuki nodded slightly before they entered the quick flurry of blocks, strikes, spins and rolls that completed the exercise. Once they'd finished it and bowed to each other, Yuki gave the call to spar and started circling her, glaive held angled towards the ground.

Kel matched her stance, looking for an opening. Now they didn't have the ability to talk. Both searched for an opening, exchanging several quick series of flashing strikes. Yuki was trying to make her pay for her earlier remarks, but Kel wasn't making it easy. Yuki got in several good strikes that would leave her bruised, but nothing decisive. Kel might not have fought one of the Yamani ladies lately, but she had certainly used her glaive against live opponents. She tried not to think of what they'd become once she'd finished with them, and Yuki took that momentary distraction to attack.

Kel was forced into a one handed back handspring, followed by a back flip, whipping up her weapon as her feet rotated towards the ground. She hated to use aerial moves. They looked impressive to those watching, but they always came with a moment of vulnerability. Luckily she was too quick for Yuki to take it. The woman must be tired. They circled each other for a few minutes, each trying the other with the occasional probing attack stroke. Finally, Kel found an opening. She attacked hard, finally managing to sweep Yuki's feet out from under her, positioning her blunt practice blade at Yuki's throat in the kill position.

Yuki's eyes crinkled slightly in amusement as Kel offered her a hand up. Once on her feet, they bowed to each other. "Well," said Yuki, still using Yamani, "I will never fight with you while I am tired again. You have certainly been keeping in practice this past summer."

Kel nodded. She had kept in practice, but she still thought a fresh Yuki would take her down at least twice over three bouts. "You honor me, Yukimi-san." She bowed to her friend again, who bowed back.

They both turned when they heard Domitan make a remark. "I'm surprised you don't get dizzy, with all the bowing you do."

Yuki had her fan out again. This time she was annoyed, and Kel could see friend was debating giving Dom a good rap with the thing. The Yamani lady wasn't quite used to people being so rude in public. It irked her, occasionally, though putting up with Neal had vastly extended her tolerances. Yuki met Kel's eye and spoke in Yamani. "Perhaps it is good this man thinks of you as a sister. Think of how hard you would have to work to break him to bridle." She gave the sergeant a long look before continuing, this time in common. "And he does not even look as if he would be worth the effort." Without another word, she snapped her fan shut, bowed again to Kel, who bowed in response, and walked off the practice field, Neal following in her wake.

As soon as she was gone, Dom turned to Kel. "What was she saying about me? What effort wouldn't I be worth?"

Kel gave him a quick grin, trying to decide what to say without revealing what exactly Yuki had meant. "You wouldn't be worth the bother of teaching manners."

He reached out and tugged a lock of her hair. "I'd be no fun if I were well mannered. How would you even know it was me?"

Kel sighed, but Tobe spoke up before she could think of a response. "My lady, why haven't you shown me those back flip things?"

She considered a moment before she replied. "Grab a practice staff and I'll show you." She turned to Dom, who watched they curiously. "You come too. I might need your help." She didn't think Tobe was yet quick enough to catch her out, but Dom should be.

She showed them the move twice, first keeping both her hands on the ground through the back hand spring, then only one. She went through the motions slowly once, putting her hands on the ground and waiting in a bridge. "Now watch as I come up." She pushed her feet off the ground, snapping them over her head, bouncing upright. "As I come up, there's a moment where you can smack me in the back if you're quick, and there's nothing I can do to stop you. Dom, did you see it?" He nodded. "Okay, try not to crack me too hard. I do need to be in a saddle for a few hours." He grinned and nodded.

She did the move with her glaive, keeping her hands off the ground as she flipped round. The first time, Dom couldn't quite catch her, and she was able to get her weapon up, catching his staff on hers. The second time she wasn't so lucky. Dom offered her a hand up as she wheezed. "And that," she told Tobe once she had some breath back, "Is why I don't show you moves like that. The flips are also a cursed pain to learn. It took me three months of working at it every day to get the first one."

"But, Lady, why did you learn them if they can leave you open?"

Kel sighed. She should have known he'd ask that. "I learned them for exhibition matches, like what Lady Yukimi and I did before we started sparring for true." She didn't look at Dom, almost muttering the last bit. "You get more points if you can work in flips."

Of course the sergeant heard her. She ignored his arched eyebrow. She went on, in her normal voice. "There are also rare occasions when you can get away with them, as I did with Yuki this morning. If I hadn't flipped like I did she would have had me, but had she been as quick as she normally is, she would have had me anyway. If you know your opponent's speed, and you judge it right, you can use moves like that, but usually they're just a bit of flash. I also didn't start learning them until I'd been working with the glaive for two years. We'll see how you do with your spear in the normal way for now."

Dom was still grinning when she finished speaking. Somehow she had an idea she hadn't gotten off as easily as she'd hoped. "Kel, you learned specific moves for the sake of earning points in exhibition matches?"

She sighed. "As I said, there are times when they can be used in combat. I don't believe you could catch me out if I used one when you weren't expecting it."

He laughed at her, but conceded the point with a nod. "You're probably right. I couldn't get you that first time, even with you pointing out when I needed to tap you."

She nodded, feeling slightly less embarrassed. "Well, I'm off for a wash. Come fetch us when we need to saddle up."

He nodded. "I'll pop by before I go to lunch. We'll be leaving after we eat."

Tobe helped her carry a couple buckets of steaming water into her dressing room, consenting to sit in the bedroom and wait for her to finish washing. She managed to sluice off the sweat and give her hair a quick wash; it was still short enough that it dried quickly. She did wish for a proper bath, but it just wasn't possible in any of the forts. They didn't have the facilities, or the space. She made do with what she had, and was glad of it. Still, she scrubbed quickly and dried herself off. She was cranky, and had that achy feeling that meant her monthlies were due to start. She knew she'd long for a bath tonight, when her cramps were bad.

For now, she dressed, before making Tobe wash his face. Once she'd gathered their outer gear and the light mail she wore for patrols they went down to the mess, bumping into Dom as he went up to fetch them. The rest of his squad was getting settled as the three of them slid into spaces at the table with plates of food.

Wolset smiled at her. "Ah, Lady Kel. Sarge tells us you and the lad will be riding out with us today."

Kel started to respond, but a shouted, "You!", made them all turn around. Evin Larse stood at the entrance to the mess, looking like a thunder cloud and pointing at Dom. He marched towards them, but it wasn't until he opened his mouth to start yelling again that Kel saw what the problem was: all of his teeth were stained black. "I know you're behind this, Masbolle!"

Dom was the picture of innocence. "Behind what, sir?"

Evin pointed at his mouth. "My teeth, man! I know you did this, somehow. I want to know exactly where you were yesterday."

Dom seemed to think for a few minutes. "Well, I had training with the lads first thing, then I spent some time with Lady Keladry while she was getting settled in. I had lunch with my cousin, Nealan of Queenscove and his betrothed. I spent the afternoon helping my Lord Raoul prepare for the wedding, then there was the party."

"You left before me."

Kel interrupted, her face carefully smooth. "We went to have tea in my room."

Tobe was nodding now. "You chatted for ages. I could barely sleep." She ruffled his hair.

Evin just frowned. "I will figure this out, Domitan. And I will pay you back in kind." The Rider commander stormed out, muttering about good for nothing sergeants and payback.

Dom didn't start laughing softly until Evin was well away. Kel arched an eyebrow at him. "Why are you playing pranks on Evin Larse, anyway? I thought you two got on?"

Dom clapped her back, turning his attention to his food. "We do. He's just getting a bit big for his breeches with his command. I needed to take him down a peg, and he does so love his smile. It'll fade in a few days, a week at most."

Kel sighed, deciding to ignore him, and started eating and talking with the men who had fought with her in Scanra.


	3. Chapter 3

Kel was relieved to ride out with the men of Dom's squad shortly after noon. Tobe had dashed off as soon as he could gulp down his food, insisting on saddling not only their horses, but Dom's as well. The sergeant just sighed, putting up his hands in surrender, then gone back to stroking the grey and orange cat that had adopted him in Scanra.

Now Kel watched Tobe talk to the two men in Dom's squad who'd replaced the men he'd lost on their trip north, Fulcher and Lofren. Grantan had been promoted to corporal, and Dom had been given more men to fill out his ranks. Tobe was telling them about their raid into Scanra, with helpful additions from those men who'd been there. Even Jump, trotting along at Charm's feet let out the occasional yip. Finally Kel had had enough. "Tobe, please, stop boasting."

The boy gave her a long suffering look before he sighed and responded. "Yes my Lady." He asked Dom a seemingly unrelated question. "When's the new moon?"

Dom arched an eyebrow at the boy. "Next week. Why?"

"I was just curious. My Lady, will Fanche tell us more stories about the stars in the new moon?" Kel sighed. The boy was far too observant for his own good. When he'd remarked that Kel always seemed irritable in the week before the new moon, Fanche had whacked him on the head with a wooden spoon and told him to mind his manners. When he'd asked why it was always that week, the older woman had smiled and explained that seeing the moon die every month was a sad thing. She'd gone on to say that he shouldn't be sad, since you could see the stars the best during the new moon and had spent several nights the next week telling stories about the stars to the camp children. Kel had silently thanked her and made a mental note to be less prickly. Obviously it hadn't stuck.

She made an effort and smiled slightly at Tobe. "She might, if you ask her nicely and the weather is fair." He nodded to himself, and returned to talking to the men of Dom's squad, though thankfully not about Scanra.

After a few minutes, Dom pulled his horse next to hers. "How is the Protector of the Small? You're more quiet than normal."

She made a face. That nickname just wouldn't die. "Don't call me that, Dom." Her tone was harsher than it might have been. She was starting to think this patrol had been a bad idea. She was tired, her back and abdomen ached, and the bruises she'd gotten off Yuki that morning were more painful than she thought they should be.

He made a face at her. "You are in a bad mood. Everything alright?"

She sighed, taking time to focus on a calm lake, thinking of a breeze rippling the surface then dying, the ripples fading away to nothing. "Just tired, and a bit achy. One of Tobe's fifteen elbows must have been jabbing my back last night, and after my bout with Yuki, doing those flips and getting a whack from you it's bothering me a bit."

He gave her a half smile. "I've got some willow bark in my bag, if you want to make a cup of tea when we get to the waypost." He laughed at look of relief that crossed her face. She would love a cup of willow tea. "If you're hurting that badly, we should find you a healer. You never complain of pain, not even when that Scanran giant practically ripped your shoulder apart and you had to ride with it barely healed for days."

"I'm sure I would have looked just as relieved had you offered me willow tea then. Somehow it's easier to ignore big pains than to just live with the little ones." Nari and Duck were chattering at each other while they preened Hoshi's mane. The rest of the birds were about, scouting the woods around them. Even though raiding had pretty much stopped with the approach of winter, they were still alert. She reached out to Nari, who hopped on her finger to be petted. "I'll be fine tomorrow. Hopefully Tobe will be nightmare free and I can have my bed to myself." She gave her dog a look before she amended, "Well, mostly to myself." Dom's laugh made her smile before she continued. "The new lads are working out, then?"

Prior to her arrival at Steadfast the day before yesterday, she'd only seen Dom twice over the course of the summer, both times while she was as Mastiff, reporting to Lord Wyldon on New Hope's progress. She'd never had much time for anything past a quick hello, and hadn't gotten to talk much about the men who'd replaced those who'd died in Scanra. "They're good lads." He kept his voice low enough that they wouldn't hear him. "They were a bit green when I got them, straight out of the training yards in Corus, but they've seen enough action this summer to take the shine off their mail. They're steady, and they get on with the others well." Just then Arrow came peeping in.

Kel held out her palm and he lighted on it, tapping twice, letting her know there were ten people up ahead. The way he moved his wings told her he didn't know if they were friends of enemies. She nodded, glancing at Dom to make sure he'd caught the message. He had. "How far?"

Dom knew the signal for half a mile, and he nodded before calling out commands. "Wolset, take Prath and go have a look, shall you? We'll just relax here a moment." They waited for perhaps twenty minutes for the two to return, in silence.

When they did, Wolset spoke. "Nothing to worry about, Sarge. Just a group of charcoal burners heading to New Hope to get settled for winter." Dom nodded and signaled for them to move out. They passed the charcoal burners, whose wagons were heavily loaded with fuel for the winter, giving the men and women a wave and a nod.

When they arrived, at the way post, they stayed only long enough to have a quick cup of tea and exchange correspondence. They chatted briefly with the squad posted there, who were out of Mastiff, before saying goodbye. Kel gulped down the last of her tea, thanking the gods that Dom had had that bit of willow bark in his bag. She already felt better, the ache in her back fading, and some of the tension in her abdomen easing.

When they passed the charcoal burners again, Kel stopped to talk to them, signaling to Dom that she would catch up. At Dom's insistence, Tobe rode ahead with the men, but he kept looking back wistfully at Kel until a turn in the trail hid her. She didn't know any of these people, but she introduced herself, found out a little bit about them. They would normally have wintered in Riversedge, but with the troubles most of those people had gone to New Hope, so the charcoal burners would go there as well. They would stop for a day at Mastiff, selling charcoal, before moving on to her camp. She let them know she'd see them in about a week, and bid them safe journey, before she brought Hoshi to a canter to catch Dom and his squad.

She was in much better spirits when she reached them. The tea had helped, and the run, with the cool wind whipping through her hair and across her cheeks, had calmed her mood. She was even able to ignore whatever quiet discussion Dom was having with Tobe. When Dom didn't keep quiet enough, she caught the words 'women', 'certain times' and 'hand in a hornet's nest', but she let it all wash over her. For the first time in several days, she really did feel like that calm crystal clear lake she was always trying to envision.


	4. Chapter 4

The next day, after dawn glaive practice with Yuki, a very battered Kel walked into the mess to find Daine eating a bowl of porridge. She greeted the wild mage cheerily, though she'd been surprised she hadn't been at the wedding. Kel found out why quickly enough.

"I've been spying over the border," Daine told her. "I've been all over, trying to find out if they've finished with major offenses for the year. My wings- er, arms are killing me." They smiled at each other, and Kel shook her head in amusement.

Once they'd finished breakfast, Kel, Buri, Yuki, Daine and Alanna banished Raoul from his rooms so that Buri could move all of her things in. He was uncharacteristically sheepish as he went off to potter around in the training yards, nodding to the laughing women as they carried things into his study.

Yuki made them all tea, and Kel told Tobe he needed to sit quietly if he insisted on being there. Having the wild mage and Tobe in the same room, Kel remembered that she should find out if anything needed to be done about the horse magic. Daine considered a long moment before responding. "Well, Tobe, let's sit down together for a little while and see what you've taught yourself, shall we?"

Kel enjoyed spending the morning with the women. Her fears for Tobe were eased when Daine told her that the boy had learned enough control that he didn't need immediate intervention. She offered to take him to Corus with her for the winter, but it had brought Tobe nearly to tears. Since Daine said it wasn't needful, and Kel, even if she hated to admit it, would probably be at least a little heartbroken to send Tobe away, for now he would remain with her. It was a weight lifted from Kel's mind. After his talk with Kel, Tobe spent about an hour with his arms wrapped around Kel's waist and she ran her fingers through his hair to soothe him. They talked until lunch, laughing at various dirty jokes and helping Buri to carve out a space for herself amongst Raoul's things.

The rest of the week passed quickly. She spent her early evenings with Neal, Yuki and Tobe. She and Neal played chess, or she played the Yamani strategical stones game with Yuki. When Dom didn't have guard duty, he would join them for these quiet gatherings. Yuki grudgingly admitted the sergeant was growing on her, after two evenings where even she found herself laughing out loud. Neal and Dom had crafted their teasing of one another into an art form. Kel always left before it approached bedtime, so that Yuki wouldn't feel obligated to leave with her. When Dom was with them, he joined her in a cup of green tea. He spent one night showing Tobe how to whittle a frog. She enjoyed her conversations with Dom, about the progress of the war, likely developments in the spring, who might be deployed where. She was always surprised to notice how low the candles burned when she remembered he probably wanted to go to his bed. One night she joined him in a small cup of Scanran honey wine, since she'd never tried the stuff, and was happy to find it didn't give her a headache the next morning.

Her days were filled as well. She practiced glaive at dawn with Yuki, then spent the midmorning in the practice yards. She was able to best Raoul and Dom with her glaive while they used swords, and fought to a draw with the Lioness twice, before finally disarming her. The Lioness grumbled about seeing how they did when using the same weapons next time, before demanding the use of Yuki's glaive so Kel could show her the basics of using the Yamani weapon. Kel went on several short patrols, with Dom's and Qasim's squads. Tobe spent every afternoon with Daine, and seemed pleased with the things he learned. Kel was, however, happy to return to New Hope when the week ended. It was difficult for her to not have a purpose, not to have tasks to complete every day. Even though she knew the residents of New Hope could manage without her, she was finding she had trouble managing without them.

After a discussion with Kel, Yuki decided to return with them. She and Neal wouldn't marry until at least one of Yuki's Yamani family members could make the journey, probably in the late spring, and then only if Neal could get away from the fighting, but Kel saw no reason for her friend to remain holed up in Steadfast for the winter. Finally she told Yuki that Neal was going to be completely useless as a healer if he was forever pining after his betrothed, and that Kel would have no trouble finding her a room somewhere. Once Yuki informed Neal about this decision, he couldn't wipe the grin from his face.

When they did finally leave, Kel was pleased to be going home. Dom teased her mercilessly the day before they left, calling her 'Mother' and 'Protector of the Small' whenever he could, reminding her that her charges were just about off apron strings. She thought about punching him in the face, but settled for a not too gentle punch to the upper arm that left him wincing. When he hugged her the next morning, after hugging his cousin and Yuki, she tried not to linger longer than was proper for a friend. It was difficult. He smelled too nice; of soap, and clean laundry, and under all that simply warm man. With a soft sigh, she let him go.

Kel was happy to finally see New Hope's walls, just after sunset that night. They'd debated staying the night at Mastiff, but Kel had elected to press on. She just wanted to be home, plus Mastiff felt odd now that Lord Wyldon had gone south with Owen so that he could face his ordeal at Midwinter, even if Alanna had traveled that far with them to take over the post. At New Hope's gates, Fanche greeted them, though she looked long and hard at Yuki before she gave her a slight nod.

Kel smiled when she saw that Irnai had already moved her things into Kel's room, and helped her Yamani friend to settle into the young seer's room. "We'll sort out something more permanent in the morning," she explained with a smile. "Irnai winds up in with me most nights anyway." It was helpful that the five year old seer had known in advance. It made Yuki feel like less of a burden. Once Yuki was settled, they went to have dinner in the mess, and Kel sat down with Merric, who sat with two of the squad leaders. Since they were within the walls of New Hope, and inside, Tobe felt sure enough of Kel's presence to leave her alone for a bit and went to eat with the other orphans. Neal was introducing Yuki to the other healers in New Hope, both of them taking their supper in one of the refugee barracks.

Her friend smiled broadly at her. "I told you we'd manage not to burn the place down without you, Mother."

Kel made a face at him. "Any news?"

"Mayam's doing well with the baby. She and her husband are still trying to decide on a name for the little boy. The harvest is stored, and I think there might be a bit of a party tomorrow. Everyone wanted to wait for you to return." Kel was glad the baby Neal had delivered just before they left for Steadfast was doing well. "We received those charcoal burners you sent along. I'm amazed you managed to introduce yourself to them in the middle of the woods somehow. Any news from the forts?"

Kel shrugged slightly. "Well, Buri and Lord Raoul went through with it. The wedding was nice, simple. Most of Third Company and as many rider groups as are in the borderlands managed to come, as well as Lady Alanna and her husband. Everyone's pretty sure the raiding is done for the winter. Daine was spying in Scanra, and she says all the troop movements she could find out about were those heading home for the winter."

Merric nodded, looking slightly relieved. They could handle what was thrown at them, but it was good to know they would have at least a slight reprieve. It was easier, now that the killing machines had been destroyed and their people had been further trained. It helped that Kel and Merric had both been involved in the rescue from Scanra. All of Haven's residents knew exactly how far their knights would go for them. They in turn did their utmost to return that loyalty. They really were becoming like a large, extended family.

The ride back from Scanra had done Merric a lot of good. He was much easier with the common born, and they'd impressed him with their vehement defense of both him and Kel to Wyldon and Raoul when their band had made it back to Tortall. Raoul had embarrassed Kel by explaining, in detail, exactly how vehement they'd been.

"So," Merric said, "we shall, of course, keep vigilant, but it is nice to know that we may relax slightly. I can't say I'll be unhappy when the passes are closed by snow, no matter how miserable it makes life here."

Kel nodded, agreeing. "We've still got work to do. I want to get the roof over at least one of the training yards. We're going to need to keep training the refugees this winter. Spring will come soon enough, and Maggur isn't done yet."

Merric knew this as well as she did. "The carpenters say they'll be ready to start on that project this week sometime. We've got everyone who was working in the fields working to increase our supply of fire wood. Those charcoal burners brought some fuel, though they unloaded the lion's share at Mastiff to be distributed around the forts." Kel nodded. She barely remember winters at Mindelan, but she did remember the cold. "You put Yuki in Irnai's room?"

Kel smiled at him. "When did she tell you Yuki was coming?"

"Only yesterday. She said she hadn't been sure until then, but once she was she began moving into your room. I'm glad she came along. Neal was going to be completely useless if he knew she was just over at Steadfast."

"Those were my thoughts exactly." She sighed. "Irnai is fine bunking with me. You know she always comes to sleep with me if she has a nightmare anyway. We'll muddle through. I don't have any privacy with Tobe around, so I'm used to it."

Merric laughed at her. "You have too much patience with younglings, Mother. You always have, even during our page days. If it comes to it, we can make Loey shift up and take Irnai in."

Kel shook her head. "She needs some privacy. She's fifteen. It's a miserable age to have to share a room." Merric just laughed and shook his head.

The next several days were spent getting Yuki settled into life at New Hope. Neal slept in one of the rooms above the infirmary, and after some debate with her friend, Kel and Yuki spent a morning clearing one of the storage rooms for her use. She wouldn't have a dressing room, but they both knew she wouldn't be using the room much anyway. Once again, it was just Kel and the orphans sleeping in headquarters. At Haven, the clerks had lived upstairs, but when they'd built the new camp, they'd managed to create a small building for Master Terrec and his assistants.

Yuki, much like Kel, hated being at loose ends, so they set about finding her something to do. In the mornings, she and Kel would have a very long glaive practice and then Yuki would help Kel instruct the camp children in the use of pole arms. They both spoke wistfully of having glaives for the children to learn while adapting the moves they knew so well for spear. In the afternoons, while Kel spent most of her time with the clerks, Yuki worked with the women of the camp, doing chores that ranged from laundry to weaving. For now, it seemed to be enough for the Yamani. Kel was happy her friend wasn't feeling like she was a burden, especially since her presence had made Neal almost enjoyable to be around. To be fair to Neal, Kel always enjoyed having him around, but now he was practically polite to everyone. It was amazing.

Once Yuki was settled, Kel sank into the routine of camp life. She hated that she'd been casually removed from the work rosters, though she understood why. Just as she didn't want to be seen as miserly where Tobe was concerned, her people didn't want to be seen to disrespect her. She still hated it. For now she comforted herself with reports, which she sent off weekly to the temporary commander at Mastiff, as well as sending copies to Steadfast and New Giantkiller.

There were many times when her command chaffed Kel. She still wished for a military post, especially as New Hope was nearly running itself. Every couple of days, she would be brought into an issue by Fanche, but they were never issues she saw as terribly important. She sometimes thought Fanche asked her advice just to humor her.

When the first snows came, she found her refugees prepared. The largest practice area inside the walls had been given a roof before the first snows, for which Kel was thankful. One it snowed the first time, it didn't seem to want to stop. The first week was difficult, getting used to the routine of digging out the camp every morning, but they got used to it quickly. Merric's soldiers were still able to patrol, since most of the snow would drift fairly quickly, but they stuck to the main tracks and game trails. The first patrol after every snow was always bad, but once the trail had been broken they managed well enough.

Once a fortnight, a courier would ride through, picking up whatever messages they had and dropping off whatever the other border forts sent them. It was much easier to ride in the snow than it was to walk, but the couriers still took longer that they had when it was fair.

It was the week before Midwinter when Kel got a fairly significant surprise as she stood on the walls speaking to those soldiers standing sentry in the watery light of the late afternoon. About fifteen riders appeared out of the trees. It wasn't until she pulled out her spy glass and recognized one very large man next to a much smaller woman that she started grinning and raced down to the gate to meet them.


	5. Chapter 5

Kel couldn't keep the smile from her face while she waited by the gate for Raoul and Buri. She was fairly sure the sergeant leading the squad of the Own was Dom, but she wouldn't know for sure until they took off some of their winter gear or at least got closer. She had no idea why they were riding in, but she was happy to see them.

Raoul, too, was smiling when he came through the gate and dismounted. He wrapped her in a bear hug, actually lifting her off her feet and spinning her around. They were both laughing hard when he set her down, clapping each other on the back. Tobe, with several other camp children, took the horses to care for, and Raoul greeted Jump, who had been begging for some attention. Kel gave Buri a quick embrace, before she was swept into another bear hug. Dom didn't lift her as Raoul had, but his arms felt good as they gripped her hard. She had to force herself not to relax into him, though she thought she only partially succeed.

"So," Kel announced when she'd disentangled herself. "Welcome to New Hope. Let's get all of you inside with a hot drink." She led them to the mess used by New Hope's soldiers, Jump still enthusiastically greeting the new arrivals. Dinner was in the process of being prepared, but Kel quickly procured hot, spiced cider as well as some sweet rolls left over from the morning meal. Once everyone had removed their cloaks to hang dripping by the door and had a moment to settle into seats with steaming mugs, Kel turned to Raoul. "Did you have an enjoyable ride, sir?"

Raoul grinned. "I know you're being polite, Mindelan, but you can ask us what we're doing here." She grinned, sheepish. She couldn't deny that she was asking herself that very question, in the silence of her head. "To answer that question, well, Drum needed to stretch his legs." Now she laughed. Raoul had been bored. "Do you mind putting us up for a few days?"

"Of course not, sir! Quarters will be a bit close, but we'll manage. Did you run into Merric's patrol on your way in?"

Raoul nodded. "He said to tell you to have fun with the shuffle."

Kel shook her head with a smile. "It won't be too bad. There's enough room in the barracks for Dom's squad. We'll find some space in headquarters for you, Buri and Dom. The orphaned children live with me there, but I'm sure they won't mind doubling up so we can give you all beds. Why don't you sit for a bit while I arrange things?"

Raoul nodded, taking a sip of his cider after blowing on it, but Dom stood. "I'll come with you if you don't mind. I need to walk a bit after being ahorse all day."

"As you like, Dom. We'll round up your cousin and his lady. Jump, stay." The dog looked at her with a touch of disdain. He'd had no intention of moving. She patted Raoul on the back and nodded to Buri and the squad men before leading Dom out. "So," she gestured to the buildings and walls that made up her command, "do you like what we've done with the place?"

"You've gotten a lot done over the past few months. I'm impressed." They passed the smithy and New Hope's stables. Half of the stable held horses, the other half held those animals that were in from pasture for the winter.

She smiled at the sergeant. "Well, they knew better than to let me touch hammer or nail." Dom laughed at her, causing her breath to catch in her throat as she led him into the barracks. Sometimes she thought she found him far more handsome than she had any right. No one should take her breath away with a simple grin.

She shook herself, turning back to the task at hand. She found one of Merric's sergeants, who was repairing tack in one of the work rooms of the soldier's barracks. Dom knew the man from Scanra, and they greeted each other with a friendly clasped arm. "Jacut, can you get nine beds set up where ever they'll fit in the sleeping hall?" Sergeants had private rooms in the barracks, as did Merric, but the soldiers slept in a communal hall. It would be simple enough to shift beds around to find space for nine more.

Jacut smiled at Dom. "Have your boys decided they missed us so much that they wouldn't survive the winter without seeing us?"

That made Dom laugh. "Well, it is hard to go too long without seeing your beautiful face." The former convict gestured at him rudely before calling out to several others working in the common room to help shift things around and make room.

Next, Dom trailed her to her headquarters. It was a two story building, the upstairs housing the offices for Kel and the clerks who make sure Kel didn't drown in paperwork. She led him into the ground floor, which consisted of a large room with three long tables, like they had in the mess halls, each with benches on both sides. Both ends of the main room had large fireplaces, and doors on either side of the fireplaces led to the sleeping quarters. One of the tables was stacked with reports, dropped off by the clerks over the course of the day. They knew very well by now that Kel rarely used the office set aside for her, usually preferring to work in the large common room on the main floor, since someone was always searching her out for something or other. She sighed slightly at the sight, but put it to one side for the moment. In addition to benches, there were chairs in front of both fireplaces and other chairs and stools pushed against the walls of the room.

Irnai, the young seer, was waiting for them, slowly brushing her mass of wavy brown hair as she sat by one fireplace. Once Kel and Dom had hung their cloaks, the small girl walked up to Kel and lifted her arms, instructing without words that she wanted to be picked up. Kel sighed, though she didn't voice a complaint as she picked her up; it was a bit more difficult to ignore Dom stifling a laugh.

Once he'd managed to stop, she looked at him, gesturing to the room around her with a wave. "This is home." She looked back to Irnai. "So, what do you think? Shall we give Sergeant Domitan Rhyl's room? We can put Rhyl in with Peytar."

Irnai nodded seriously, considering the predicament of finding space for the new comers. "And we shall put Loey in my room then you, Tobe and I can take her room, since it's bigger."

Kel nodded. That had been her plan as well. She wondered if the youngster had worked it out for herself or had seen it. It was hard to tell sometimes. "That sounds like an excellent idea. Put on your warm things and go fetch everyone. We'll shuffle around and then we'll have lessons." She put the girl down before she continued, "Fetch Neal and Yuki as well. They'll want to greet our guests."

Irnai quickly scrambled into cloak and boots before dashing out to do as she was bid. Dom was still smiling. "Well," she said, "make yourself useful." She led him to her room, where she put various bits of clothing and gear, mostly Tobe's, into her trunk. Most of her clothes she kept stored in there, anyway, so it didn't take very long. Dom helped her carry it into the main room, then they both stripped down her bed and made it up with fresh linens and blankets. They moved Tobe's small bed into the main room as well.

Once that was done, Irnai had returned with the other orphans, and they set to work shifting everyone around. Kel went to the camp storehouse with the two oldest boys and Loey to fetch a bed for her and one for Dom. Since Neal and Yuki had appeared, Kel ordered the sergeant to go back to the mess with the both of them.

By the time she'd gotten everything arranged and had the children sitting around one of the long tables working on their lessons, the other knights, Yuki, Buri and Dom came in. Raoul laughed at the sight of Kel directing the nine orphans in their lessons. It was her task for the winter, making sure her charges could read, write and figure. She rose, smiling at her former knight master. "Have you all thawed a bit then?"

He nodded. "The squad's getting settled, catching up with those men of yours they know from your Scanran adventure. How's winter been treating you so far?"

She shrugged. The snows hadn't been so bad yet. The passes were closed and no one was venturing into the high mountains, but, as evidenced by Raoul's presence, movement between the forts was still possible. A courier came in at least every other week, and some of the mages at the other forts could speak to mages in the capital. The residents of New Hope kept the space within the walls as clear of snow as they could, and they'd done as much to prepare for the winter as possible. The biggest issue for Kel was boredom. She understood very well Raoul's desire to just get out of doors and go someplace different for a bit of time. "We're keeping busy. Come, we've shifted things. Let me show you to your room."

Raoul and Buri followed her to her room. Raoul was quick to object, recognizing some of her small Yamani paintings hanging on the wall. "Kel, you can't give us your room. I won't put you out of your bed."

The smile she directed at him was fond; she'd expected him to object, but she would hear nothing of it. "Sir, I've got the only bed that's large enough to fit the two of you even slightly comfortably." Since she did so frequently have an orphan or two joining her over the course of the night, her bed was larger than any she'd slept in before, probably with enough room for three adults. Two of the camp carpenters had made it for her, with a few of the camp women fitting a mattress to it, after they're heard her griping about Tobe and his elbows. She was happy she had the largest room in headquarters, or they never would have had room for the small bed Tobe used when he didn't make Kel slide over in the middle of the night. "Buri'd fit almost anywhere, but this way your feet won't hang off."

Buri laughed, punching Raoul in the arm gently. "Let Kel be a good hostess, Raoul. You're always cranky when you don't fit in a bed. The floors here don't look all that comfortable and I hate having to follow you to the ground when you get sick of being cramped in a too small bed and steal all the blankets."

His sigh was dramatic. "I must bow to your wisdom, as always, my wife."

The K'mir rolled her eyes before speaking to Kel. "He keeps calling me 'wife'. I'm waiting for him to tire of it, but it's taking longer than I anticipated."

Kel's sedate smile did not display the wickedness she felt as she responded. "Well, he could be calling you Lady Buri of Goldenlake and Malorie's Peak."

Even with her coloring, you could see Buri blanch slightly. Raoul's smile was as mischievous as Kel felt. "She does have a point, Lady wife. I might need to remind the men to address you as befits your new station."

"Watch it Raoul. I'm fast with a knife and I know where you sleep." The huge man just laughed. Kel didn't think the K'mir was joking, but elected not to point that out to him.

As always, one of Kel's windows was slightly ajar, and her sparrows started flying in to roost for the evening. While they'd spent the summer and much of the fall roosting out of doors, even after Kel had been able to move into her headquarters, once the first snows fell, they'd returned to sleeping inside. Not all of them slept in her room, but about a dozen did. The others spread themselves amongst the other humans in the building. Those that came into Kel's room flew around in circles, both saying hello and letting her know they were confused at the presence of others. Nari hopped onto Kel's shoulder and peeped at her. She met the bird's eyes. "Raoul and Buri are staying here. Go get settled in Loey's room." She rounded the others up with a few short peeps and they flew into the main part of the building.

Buri shook her head. "I'm still not quite used to those birds of yours. I'm just about used to them listening to Daine, but it's so odd to see them doing it with someone else."

Kel smiled at her. "They're good to have around. You both settle in. Dinner will be in a about an hour, and I need to get everyone to finish their lessons."

Raoul waved her away, putting his saddlebags down on a chair. "We'll be fine. Go see to your children, Mother." She made a face at him before she left and closed the door behind her. She was used to hearing that nickname from Dom or Merric, but not Raoul.

Back in the main room, the orphans talked quietly as they worked. Yuki was leaning over Tobe, helping him to sound out difficult words as he read. Dom and Neal weren't in the room, so she assumed Neal was catching up with his cousin as he got settled. Merric was working through one of the many stacks of paper left by the clerks over the course of the day.

She picked up another stack before sitting with the children. She alternated between plowing through paperwork and helping them with the work she set them. Once they started to fidget and fuss, she realized the hour before supper had gone. She gave out assignments to finish for the next day and sent the children off to the mess, letting the adults know they, too could head to dinner when they were so inclined.

As was her habit since they'd come to New Hope, Kel went to sit by herself for a time. Loey's room was crowded by the three beds, but she was happy to climb onto her bed, even if it was much smaller than the one she was used to, and tuck her legs underneath her and be on her own for a few minutes. Jump, of course, hopped up with her, but she didn't need to keep him occupied, and he wasn't asking for things. She just scratched his lone ear as he lay next to her, his crooked tail thumping against her thigh as she read through reports. This was the only time of any day she got to herself and she treasured it.

She was surprised, therefore, when a knock made her look up scarcely ten minutes later. Dom was lounging against the door frame, half his mouth tweaked up in a smile. "We're going to the mess, if you'd like to come along."

She shook her head. "I'll meet you there. I've got to finish reading through these," she gestured to the stack of papers, "and I just need to be on my own for a bit. Make my excuses?"

They were still eating when Kel arrived with her own plate of food, perhaps twenty minutes later. "There you are!" Raoul was smiling broadly as she settled onto the end of one bench. "We were debating asking Tobe to bring you a plate, in case you decided to spend the rest of the night in your room. It is really is nice to be here. I was going stir-crazy at Steadfast."

"Who's keeping an eye on things for you?" she asked.

"Flyn's keeping the boys in line. I told him we'd be gone through Midwinter, at least."

Kel was pleased. There were going to be parties all over camp, and she thought Raoul would much prefer it to the type of Midwinter he was normally subjected to in the capital. "We'll be happy to keep you suitably entertained. Things have been quiet at Steadfast then, I take it?"

Raoul shrugged. "Quiet, but not suspiciously so. We've had a few small raids, before the snows set in anyway. Now it's mainly a bit of bother with immortals. Anything happen here since your last report?"

Kel and Merric filled him in on what had happened in the past couple of weeks at New Hope. Merric and two squads, along with Neal and Kel, had exterminated a nest of fifteen spidrens the week before, and Merric had had to run off a herd of unicorns.

Fanche came to talk to Kel while Raoul and Merric had a lively discussion on the best way to deal with unicorns. She wanted Kel's opinion on a matter that had been decided by the small council that oversaw day to day issues in New Hope. Two families of the Tirrsmont refugees had had a disagreement about who had rights to what out of camp stores. Kel agreed with her decision to set the parents of both families extra duties. With Fanche as camp headwoman, Kel usually avoided the better part of these petty disagreements, but Fanche did let her know of the worst of them, or asked her opinion on the punishments issued.

Once her group of friends and officers had finished eating, she suggested they retire to headquarters. Neal helped her to gather pitchers of hot, spiced drinks, both wine and cider, before they both walked briskly through the cold night back to headquarters. Her crowd of orphans had already dispersed. She'd reminded them that they had work to finish before bed time when she'd arrived in the mess, but they would most likely have gone to play with friends among the refugees before they returned to the main room of headquarters for the night.

Everyone else had settled before one of the large fires by the time she and Neal arrived with drinks, so she and he quickly served everyone their choice and found chairs of their own. Conversation resumed quickly while everyone sipped, Raoul choosing to speak to her. She was glad to talk with her former knight master, especially as she hadn't had a chance to speak to him much since he'd arrived, but she didn't particularly enjoy the topic he settled on. "So, Kel, how are you finding your first command?"

She took a moment to consider her response. "Well, sir, it certainly isn't what I pictured I'd be doing as a knight." Raoul's smile was a bit lopsided as she paused. "I do understand why my Lord Wyldon gave me this posting. I think I've done as well as can be expected, and I've certainly learned a considerable amount."

Raoul nodded. "You have done well. I'm impressed with what I've seen of this camp so far, and I'm looking forward to seeing what else you've managed to do here."

While Kel knew that part of Raoul was truly here for a social visit, an impromptu inspection made sense as well. Coming unannounced gave him a chance to see the refugee camp as it was everyday, rather than after the officers had a chance to prepare. She smiled slightly at him. "Thank you, sir. I am still hoping that I can find a place on the front lines come spring. There is not much more I can do here. It was hard enough this summer, while we still had so much to get done." She had to make an effort to suppress a sigh. "I am a soldier, when it comes down to it. It is hard to be a nursemaid."

The firelight caught at Raoul's thick and shaggy dark hair as he shook his head slightly. "I wouldn't count on it, Kel. They might send up an oldster from the south to take over, but you shouldn't be too hopeful." While she appreciated his honestly, she didn't like the news. "You might get a temporary posting for a month or two when relief comes up from the south, but we have no one who would do as well commanding here. I know it's a bitter drink to swallow, but that's the way of it."

Now she couldn't even suppress the sigh. As much as she knew her duty and followed her orders without complaint, she didn't like being away from the front lines. She hated feeling like she was being protected, even if the work was necessary. "Do you think it likely I'll get a temporary posting?"

Raoul patted her upper arm gently. "I'll do my best, Kel. We might want to give a few other knights a chance, let them command the refugee camp for a time, but these people trust you. I'll make sure you have at least few weeks away from here, but that is all I can promise."

Her face was carefully blank and even as she replied. "Very well, my Lord." He was right, as much as she hated it. Even she couldn't name someone she would trust to keep an eye on her refugees, if she wanted to be on the front lines. She had a duty to these people and she didn't want to abandon them. For now, she forced herself to let it go, mentally moving it to one side. "So, how are you enjoying married life?"

At that moment, Tobe, Meech, Gaydo, Loey and Irnai tumbled into headquarters, laughing and shouting loudly. Meech and Irnai threw themselves onto her bench, one on either side of her, both wrapping their arms around her waist. Meech still had his doll clutched in one hand. She'd given all the bits of yarn she'd collected, save one, to his mother, but she hadn't found all the ones the children had dropped. One of the bits of red yarn she had kept in her belt pouch, to remind herself of the duty she owed these people. The doll was still a bit the worse for wear, with bits of varicolored yarn filling out the thin spots on his head, but Meech loved it anyway. She ran her fingers through both children's hair idly while she chatted with Raoul for a few minutes. Once their conversation lulled, she looked down at Irnai. "Don't some of you have work to do before bed?"

She ignored the smiles most of the adults exchanged. After complaints and frowns, the children nodded and went to do work in Loey's room. Raoul laughed openly. "I must say, I'm surprised at how well motherhood suits you, Kel."

Dom apparently felt the need to chime in. "How can it surprise you, sir? Kel's been mothering Third Company since you took her on as a squire."

Before she could get a word in, Raoul was speaking, a note of irritation in his voice. "I'm on a holiday. I've had quite enough of this 'sir' nonsense. You had all better start calling me Raoul. The next person who calls me sir is spending the rest of the week in the training yard with me."

Buri laughed, long and hard. "Someone's testy. Perhaps you could use some time in the training yard tomorrow. You need to work out some of that irritation."

A smile spread across Kel's face. She'd missed the comfortable banter between Raoul and Buri. "Well, we don't have enough space cleared for tilting, si...Raoul, but Yuki and I will be practicing glaives at dawn, then I'm doing staff and archery work with the camp groups. You're welcome to join us."

She didn't know if it was because she'd used his name, or just the thought of a day of training exercises, but her former knight master relaxed. The night progressed, and conversation was relaxed and easy. Children came in periodically. Some went to their rooms, some sat down at the long tables to do some of the exercises they'd been set. Once in a while they'd ask for a bit of help and one of the adults would sit with them and see what they needed.

Raoul and Buri were the first to decide to go to bed, followed by Merric, who gave her a cheeky salute before heading off to his room in the barracks. Kel went to check on Meech and Gaydo, neither of whom had returned to their family. All the children in Loey's room had fallen asleep, candles still burning. She woke Loey first, sending her to Irnai's room to bed down. She called out to Neal to help her carry Meech and Gaydo home before she picked Meech up. The two children had fallen asleep in headquarters before and Neal always helped her return them to their family.

Neal, however, sent Dom to give her a hand. He grinned at her, watching the small boy, hardly more than a toddler, snuggle into her neck in his sleep. After she gestured slightly with her head, he picked up Gaydo and followed her out. By the time they returned, Neal and Yuki had gone to bed. She suspected Neal had gotten rid of them so that he and Yuki could retire to the infirmary without comment.

After she made rounds of the children's rooms, making sure everyone was either asleep or on their way and blowing out candles as she went, she settled next to Dom by one of the large fires with a sigh. She really enjoyed spending time with Dom. It was easy to relax with him, to just be. The sergeant was the first to break the comfortable silence. "It's nice to see you Kel, especially since we don't have to rush off to a battle or relief work."

She sighed, happy. "It is. It's nice to see my Lord happy as well. Married life seems to agree with him. I must say, I am surprised to see you all. The ride must have been difficult."

He shrugged. "It wasn't as bad as it might have been. I don't know what it's going to be like when we leave after Midwinter, though. I'm half convinced Raoul wants to get stuck here. He's just that weary of paperwork."

His grin was infectious. "I can sympathize. Even with a small army of clerks, I feel as if there aren't enough hours in the day." She stretched her arms above her head, feeling her spine crack a couple times. "It's been wonderful to take an evening off, even if I do pay for it tomorrow. Did you have a good catch up with Neal?"

"He's so in love, it's hard to get him to focus on anything else. How have you been putting up with him like this?"

Kel felt the corners of her mouth curve up slightly. "Well, it is easier since Yuki is here. He's worse when she isn't around, though for different reasons." At Dom's arched eyebrow, she explained. "He doesn't moan about how much he loves her when she isn't here, but he mopes. It's horribly irritating."

Dom laughed. "He's always the hardest to bear when he's in love. At least he seems like he means it with Yuki. So, what is going on here for Midwinter?"

Kel appreciated the change of subject. "Well, there will be a party throughout the camp on the fourth night. Most of the refugee barracks will have something going on the other nights, but the main celebration will be the fourth night. It won't be too fancy, no court ladies for you to kiss," she winked at him with a grin, "but there will be food and celebration."

Dom winked back at her. "I'm sure I can find someone to give me a touch of Midwinter luck. Perhaps you can help me choose a likely candidate."

She rolled her eyes, hating him just a little in that moment, even if she had no right to. "I suppose it wouldn't do to have one of my refugees try to fight with you for kissing the wrong woman. Point the lucky girl out to me and I'll let you know if she's free." Sometimes Kel wished she didn't always need to be such a good friend.

Dom reached out and tucked a bit of hair behind her ear. She'd trimmed it recently, but she was still keeping it longer than she had as a page or squire, with the ends just curling under her jaw. "Tobe's let you off his leash a bit since the fall."

That made her laugh, softly. "Only when we're at New Hope. I can't so much as walk down to the river without him. He will wake up at some point to make sure I've come to bed. I don't know how to convince him I won't vanish, except to just not vanish."

"I'm sure you'll get him to understand eventually. I heard what Raoul was saying to you earlier." Dom inspected his nails as he spoke. She wondered how long he'd been waiting to bring this up for. His attitude was too casual for this to have been a random thought. She waved a hand at him to continue. "How are you feeling about being here for the foreseeable future?"

She didn't sigh, even though she wanted to. Having Yuki about had made her shift back a bit towards her Yamani ways, and she found it was easier to express less. "I understand the reasoning behind it, even if I don't like it. I know I have responsibilities here, but I still feel like they're trying to keep me safe."

Dom's laugh reassured her, surprisingly. "I think after the stunt you pulled getting all of your people back, you would know this isn't some safe posting well away from the front lines. I know you all saw some action before the winter set in. You're doing good work here, Kel."

The corners of her lips tightened, but she didn't frown. "I know. I just felt like I would be doing something else as a knight." She rose, needing to end the conversation. "It's late, and I have dawn practice with Yuki. Goodnight, Sergeant."

He winced slightly as he rose as well. "Don't be so formal with me, Mother. It's very tiresome. I'll see you in the morning." He leaned in to kiss her cheek gently before disappearing off to his sleeping quarters. She took a moment to be alone before she sought her own bed.

* * *

**A/N:** Longest chapter yet! Just over 5k words, phew! Hope you guys are enjoying the story so far. I've now plowed through most of what I'd written before I started publishing this, so there should be a bit of time before the next chapter comes out. If you've read and enjoyed, I hope you could take the time to leave a review. Any questions or comments? I'd love to hear them!

As an aside, if you look at the map of Haven in Lady Knight, Merric sleeps in the soldier's barracks and Neal sleeps in the infirmary. I decided to continue that trend and give the clerks their own sleeping quarters, which means Kel's the only 'official' resident in the headquarters building. Also, Tamora Pierce doesn't really name the auxiliary characters if she doesn't later use them for something(like, you know, cannon fodder). So, I've named all the orphans, as well as everyone in Dom's squad who crops up(aside from Wolset and, as far as I can tell, Gildes of Veldine, who has been kicking around since we first met Dom in Squire). So, if someone you've never heard of crops up, that'll be why.

Again if you've got any questions or comments, or anything, please review!


	6. Chapter 6

Kel noticed very quickly that Yuki was angry. The older woman wasn't focusing on the cuts and sweeps of her glaive; she was being reckless and particularly forceful. Her face was smooth, but her eyes were hard and gleaming. Since she had seemed fine the night before, Kel had to assume Neal had done something to cause his Yamani lady to be angry, but Kel had no idea what it could be. She would speak to him about it when she had time, for now she needed to focus on the fuming Yamani she was facing.

It had been nearly three months since Yuki had returned to New Hope with them, and the daily glaive practices had greatly improved Kel's skill, but she still had to focus intently to have any hope of consistently defeating her friend. She was beating her with some regularity, taking two out of three bouts, but it took very hard work. Now, she was having to ignore Dom, Raoul, Buri and a squad of the Own cheering as well as those watchers from the camp.

Finally, after Kel took some particularly hard knocks from her friend, Yuki's recklessness played into Kel's hands, allowing her to dump the Yamani onto her back. Kel quickly swung her glaive around to hold the practice blade to Yuki's throat. Once they'd bowed and thanked each other for an excellent match, Kel signaled to Neal that she needed to talk to him.

It took some time to get him alone, but once she did, Kel immediately started scolding him. "What in the world did you do to Yuki, Meathead?"

Neal looked at her in confusion. "What are you talking about, Kel?"

Kel sighed. "You still haven't learned to tell when she's angry yet? Really, Neal, even for you that's bad."

He shrugged. "We had a disagreement last night. I didn't think she was still annoyed about it."

Kel snorted. This was as close to a towering fury as the Yamani girl was likely to get. "She is. What are you fighting about, anyway?"

Now it was Neal's turn to snort. "Even I'm not that stupid, Kel. If you want to ask her about it, be my guest, but I'm going to be sensible for once and keep my mouth shut."

That was probably a first for Neal, but Kel had to agree that it was the most sensible thing he could do. She decided to seek out Yuki. She found the woman giving reading lessons to some of the camp children, and being far more stern than she had any call to be. Half an hour later, the two women were bundled against the cold and riding out of the gates of New Hope. Dom had managed to distract Tobe long enough for them to make their escape, so the two women were blissfully alone.

Thankfully, the night before had been windy, which meant most of the loose snow had shifted off of the more frequently traveled paths, though they had to be careful of drifts. What was left was mainly hard pack that the horses only sank a few inches into. Once they had ridden for a few minutes, Kel struck up conversation. "I know that in the Islands, we would not speak of such things, but I must confess that I see you are angry with Neal."

Yuki bunched her reins in a gloved hand, the other going to the staff of the glaive she carried. "I know that we may speak of things in Tortall that would be unseemly in the Islands, but it is still difficult to break the habits of a lifetime."

Kel smiled slightly. "I do know that, Yuki. When I came back from the Islands to begin training as a page I had lived there longer than I had lived here. It is, however, sometimes a relief to speak of the things that anger us, to a neutral party."

Now Yuki smiled at her. "Of course. I assume you asked Nealan first?" Kel nodded. "I suppose I should be happy he had the sense to shut his mouth for once. Perhaps he is finally becoming housebroken." Both girls giggled. "Well, I know that you and Merric are aware that Neal and I frequently do not sleep alone. He suggested we give up the pretense of having rooms of our own, since we are currently short on space."

Kel winced. Neal had obviously forgotten how much store the Yamanis put on propriety. So many liberties were allowed, so long as people were suitably private with them. "Well, I'm sure you told him that was out of the question." Yuki nodded. "Men can be idiots about such things, Yuki. If there had been need, I would have come directly to you and spoken about it. If we'd needed your room, I would have moved Tobe and Irnai and put a bed for you in my room."

Her friend, normally quite reserved, actually looked relieved. "You do mean that, don't you?" Kel nodded, and Yuki sighed slightly. "I feel like I'm at loose ends here sometimes, as if you offered me a place here only to please Neal."

Kel was glad she fell back into Yamani ways with her friend. As it was, her eyes still widened slightly. "I know how difficult it is to be without occupation, but you must agree that for the both of you it is better that you are here." Her friend nodded slightly. "As to finding a more permanent occupation for you, well, you're getting on quite well with helping the camp orphans at lessons. I've been meaning to organize lessons for all the camp children, but I've a bit too much on my plate to be after them all to do their letters and sums every day. Would you mind organizing something along those lines? Perhaps doing some of the teaching? Winter is certainly the time for it."

Yuki looked thoughtful for a moment. "It would do all the children some good to have more formality in their schooling. We could do sums and letters, and I could get some of the camp women to help with teaching more practical skills."

Kel nodded. "That sounds like an excellent plan. You could work on different skills on different days, so that no one feels too burdened by it." She reached out and squeezed her friend's hand, their horses dancing slightly at the proximity. "This will be good work. We should have thought of it weeks ago." Yuki nodded firmly, but her focus was already on the work to come.

The week before midwinter passed quickly. Yuki took to the task of organizing camp-wide lessons for all the children happily, and she and Neal seemed to be at peace again. When two men of Dom's squad got caught out playing an amusing but dangerous trick on Dom, involving freezing water in front of a doorway and an urgent summons, which resulted in Dom spending a morning with the healers, lucky to have a head without a crack in it, Raoul found a way to get ground suitably cleared for tilting, which cheered him no end. Kel, when her ears weren't ringing from repeated impacts, was amused as well. If the immortals weren't a threat, neither she nor Raoul would have brought their tilting saddles to war, and there would have been no justification for using wood for practice lances. In her mind, keeping her former knight master happy was justification enough, but she knew that shouldn't weigh in command decisions.

Still, the practice was good, and everyone found it entertaining, especially when Raoul managed to make Kel go flying. One day, perhaps, she would return the favor, but that day hadn't come yet. She was nursing a bruised back on the first night of midwinter and sitting by one of the large bonfires when Neal found her.

Her friend passed her a steaming mug of cider before settling in next to her on the bench. "So, Lady Knight, you fly nearly as well as your little birdies."

She grumbled good naturedly. "It's the landings I need to improve on." Neal laughed. "When are you going to have a go against my Lord?"

Neal's shudder was elaborate. "Perhaps once I forget the healing I had to do on Merric after his latest attempt. The man's brain had been completely rattled. I don't know how you got through nearly four years of that kind of bruising."

Kel found herself smiling. "I was approached by women in the baths, after my first tilting session. They told me I could go to the Temple of the Goddess and the man who was beating me would be punished. There were only a few days I actually considered reporting my knight master."

The bench shifted as the man in question flopped down on her other side. "Oh, come now, Keladry. Surely it was more than a few days, or I wasn't doing my job properly."

She resisted the urge to stick her tongue out at him. "Of course, my Lord. Sir. Raoul." She smiled at his glares. "You've let your lads off their leading strings for the holiday?"

He sipped his own steaming mug. "Yes, though we may come to regret that. They have been suspiciously absent this evening. I for one will be thoroughly checking my bed before I climb into it."

The two younger knights laughed. The antics of the Own were fairly legendary. Kel had had the three and a half years of her squirehood to get used to it, and they still amazed her occasionally. For such excellent warriors, they frequently acted like barely grown boys. She rose with a groan. "I should take a walk around, make sure those on the walls aren't focused more on the festivities than possible attack."

Neal reached out a hand to grip her arm. "If you're that stiff, I'm giving you a healing. Back down you come." At his tug, she sank back down. Her back really was paining her.

When Neal's magic took hold, she actually sighed in relief. "Thanks, Neal. I managed to land right on a rock."

"Yes, well, make sure you get something to eat, and get to bed early. You know how you get after healings!"

"Now who's being a mother?" She laughed, before jogging off to the walls.

She didn't actually manage to follow Neal's instructions. She stayed for a couple of hours up on the walls, talking to those on watch and listening to the celebrations going on down in the camp. She could hear Tobe's clear soprano joined with other singers, and saw Yuki practicing the simpler passes of a fan dance with Buri. The three of them were going to do a bit of a demonstration with the shukusen for the amusement of the camp on the middle day of midwinter, and Buri hadn't thrown the thing since they'd been on progress. Neither had Kel for that matter, but she was much more practiced than the K'mir.

She also spent some time in contemplation, saying silent prayers for Owen and his yearmates, who would enter the Chamber this week. She asked gods, both Yamani and Tortallan, to keep the boys safe, sparing an admonition for the chamber itself to not involve her friend in any scheme. She hoped it could hear her.

Once that was done, she found herself around a fire with Dom and his two corporals, passing around a jug of Scanran mead. The lads had remembered the stuff didn't give her a headache as other alcoholic drinks did, and refused to be put off by her normal excuses. Still, it was nice to catch up with Dom and his men, even if she found herself quickly feeling the effects of the sweet drink. She'd forgotten Neal's advice to eat, but at the moment it didn't seem very important.

What was important was learning the very inappropriate song Wolset was teaching her, about a lord trying to get his wife out of her lover's bed and into his own. She kept dissolving into giggles when they reached the third verse, much to the delight of Dom and Grantan. When she at last made it through the song straight faced, Dom stood, swaying slightly and pulled her to her feet. She wrapped her arm around his waist. _For stability, _she told herself. "I think it's time the Lady Knight and I retreated to headquarters while at least some of our dignity is still intact. Don't you agree, Mother?"

"I'm certainly not your mother, Dom," she snapped. Thinking that the handsome sergeant saw her as a mother was worse than thinking he saw her as a sister.

His hand clutched his chest dramatically. "Oh, it bites!" He cried. "Come on, Kel. Your orphans will come searching you out if you're up much longer. Most of the camp is already abed."

She heaved out a huge breath. "Good night, then, lads." Grantan and Wolset waved at them happily, going back to passing the jug back and forth between them. She didn't relinquish her hold around Dom's waist, and was quietly pleased when he slung his arm around her shoulders for the short walk to headquarters.

They disentangled to get through the door, but neither seemed quite ready for bed, instead deciding to settle on a bench by one of the large fireplaces, after Dom stoked it up a bit. Her cheeks tingled at the warmth, after being out in the cold night for so many hours, and she rubbed them briskly with her hands, which had been warm inside her gloves.

Dom passed her a cup of still warm spiced cider, meaning Raoul and Buri hadn't gone to bed too long ago, along with one of the iced midwinter buns, which she happily bit into. "That is dewishus," she declared, her mouth still full of bun. She chewed before continuing, and took a gulp of cider. "I was supposed to eat after Neal healed my back, but I forgot."

That made Dom laugh, and she smiled at him. He had such a pretty mouth. And pretty eyes. All of Dom was pretty. "If I'd known you'd had a healing, I wouldn't have given you so much mead. Though it is an amusing change to see you letting out all your emotions."

She elbowed him slightly. "I do show my emotions. I'm forever embarrassing Yukimi-san with my shameful displays of emotion." She sighed. "Still, she's getting used to shameful displays of emotion with Meathead being… Meathead all the time."

Another laugh from the beautiful sergeant. "Yes, after my cousin's shameful displays, yours must be nothing in comparison." She stuck her tongue out at him. He tugged on a lock of her hair. "You're sure you're not unhappy about Kennan getting married?" His rapid subject change confused her.

She looked at him quizzically before taking another bite of bun to give her a moment. Once she'd finished she finally spoke. "I've always loved Cleon as a friend, but if I'm honest with myself, I never loved him, not as he loved me. I liked the way he looked at me, and kissing him was lovely," she smiled at remembering Cleon's kisses, which she'd always enjoyed, forgetting for a moment who exactly she was speaking to. "Very lovely. And it was nice that someone actually looked at me as a woman instead of one of the lads, but I was so pleased I didn't have to tell him, well, I was pleased he was going off to get married. So if I hear any of you start getting… inventive in the spring, well, there will be trouble." She smiled into her cider. With the food and the cider, her head felt a little bit clearer, but she was tired. She should be in her bed.

Later she would wonder at whatever thought led her to think her actions were acceptable, but at the moment, it seemed like the most natural thing in the world to lean over and find Domitan of Masbolle's lips with her own. The kiss was a fleeting, innocent thing, more suited to friends than lovers, but it was still a kiss. He stared at her, completely stunned when she drew away, grinning. "Midwinter luck, Dom." She giggled, hopped up and retreated to her room.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N:** Just a few notes before this chapter starts. I know most of the people reading this are from the US, so I need to explain a very Scottish/Irish/Northern English event called a 'ceilidh'. They spelling varies depending on if you're using Scots Gaelic or Irish, but it's pronounced pretty much like 'kay-lee'. It's a type of dancing you see at various events, and it's amazingly fun. I'd never heard of it before moving to the UK, but it's sort of their version of line dancing. If you google it, you'll see a few examples of it. There are two types, the more formal, competition type dancing. That's what I imagine court dances to be like. I could see Raoul hating that kind of dancing. Have a look at youtube. com/ watch?v=sWIHdHrVREM for an example of that. Then there's the Saturday night, having a laugh and a few pints kind of ceilidh, and that's the one you see in this chapter. The music is Scottish/Irish folk music, and it's great to get moving to. Have a look youtube. com/ watch?v=ILgGeYWZyCo for an okay example of that kind.

Also, 'scrumpy' is an alcoholic, flat cider. It's usually pretty high in alcohol, and freaking delicious. It may come up again, though it is only very briefly mentioned in this chapter.

* * *

Kel felt her cheeks burning with embarrassment as soon as she woke. _I kissed Dom._ The thought repeated on a loop in her mind. _I am an idiot._ That one, too, was repeated frequently. She thought of the mingled shock and horror that had been written plainly on his face as she'd pulled away. _That will teach me._ What it would teach her, she wasn't quite sure. Not to hope, and to avoid alcohol, certainly. _At least you know, now, what he thinks of you,_ a small part of her thought. That thought she did her best to squash. She'd always known what the beautiful Dom had to think of her, that she was a hulking great lump of a knight, not even considered amongst the females, let alone as someone to be romantic with.

She shifted slightly in the predawn light filtering through the heavy winter curtains, felt a small body next to hers snuggle closer. Longer strands of hair tangled with her own indicated that her bedmate was Irnai, the young seer. She wondered if the young girl had had a nightmare, or if she knew Kel's dreams had been troubled.

With a sigh, she disentangled herself quietly, doing her best not to wake the children who shared her room. For once, she managed it, thankful she would have some time on her own. She needed to reflect, and she needed to figure out what she was going to say to Dom. She slipped into the small dressing room to wash with the cold water that was there. She felt like she didn't deserve the luxury of hot water.

Quickly, she stripped and washed the essentials, under her arms, between her legs, face, teeth, before drying and slipping into the fresh breast band, loincloth and shirt. Once back in her room, she found clean breeches, tunic and socks, grabbed her boots and practice glaive and retreated to the common room, before the children could wake, with Jump electing to stay in bed with Irnai.

After two practice dances, she rejected the idea of asking Neal or Yuki to pretend they had dared Kel to kiss the sergeant. That would require telling one of them that she had, and she certainly wanted to avoid that embarrassment. Well, she couldn't tell Neal, certainly. If Yuki was sworn to secrecy, she wouldn't tell Neal, but a bet could be freely talked about by Dom, and she didn't want that at all. No, her only option was to pass is off as a joke. Dom would believe that, hopefully.

When she was through her third practice dance, Yuki joined her on the practice ground. She was grateful to see her friend, blessedly alone as well. As soon as they'd bowed to each other and begun a warm up, she started babbling in Yamani. "I kissed the sergeant."

Yuki was so surprised she actually missed two steps of their routine. "My betrothed's cousin?"

"No, Sergeant Adner! Of course your betrothed's cousin! I think I will die from the shame of it. You must swear not to tell Neal." For the first time in her life, she could almost understand the Yamani tradition of suicide to avoid shame.

"Of course, I swear." Yuki was silent for a long moment, the only sound in the sleeping camp, the noise of their glaives connecting. "He did not welcome your embrace, then?"

Kel actually snorted. "I think he would have been happier to have been kissed by a pig. I've seen him happier facing five to one odds in enemy territory. No, he certainly did not welcome my embrace. He thinks of me as a sister, or as another man, certainly not as anything that could ever be the object of affection." Her traitorous eyes stung as she fought back tears. "I feel like a complete fool."

Yuki finished the last move of the set, completing their warm up. "If you would like, we can forgo practice, and simply talk over tea. It might help to talk."

Kel shook her head. "No. I would rather you drub me soundly, thank you. If only Nariko were here, to assure me of a complete beating." She thought fondle of the Emperor's armsmistress, who trained the court ladies, and the bruises the tough woman had given her over the years. "All I can hope is to pretend I was playing a trick on him." She readied herself for Yuki's attack.

After two practice bouts, both of which she managed to win, Kel was feeling better. She'd collected some excellent bruises from Yuki, and was feeling much more herself. It hadn't even been much of a kiss. She'd barely brushed the man's lips with her own. Surely he wouldn't think much of it?

When she plopped down next to Dom at breakfast, after allowing herself a wash in hot water, she elbowed him in the ribs and grinned at him, before whispering in his ear, "Sakuyo laughs, Dom," before he had a chance to say anything. The hesitant grin he shot in her direction told her he remembered her explanation of the Yamani trickster god. She rolled her eyes, hoping her performance was convincing, before digging into her porridge.

Still, she avoided the handsome sergeant as much as she could for the next few days, burying herself in paperwork and going out on patrol with Merric's squads. She trained with Yuki and the camp children, as well as practicing shukusen with her friend and Buri. She tilted and practiced combat with her fellow knights, and involved herself in as many chores as her people would let her. She used the orphans as human shields, keeping one of them with her at any time she felt Dom might come upon her. She should have felt ashamed of her actions, but she didn't.

It was odd to notice that very time she looked in his direction, she seemed to find Dom watching her, no matter what she was doing. She put it out of her mind, preferring instead to focus on the plans for the Midwinter celebrations at New Hope.

When the fourth day of the holiday arrived, complete with the requisite gift giving, things between her and Dom seemed back to normal. She appreciated the gifts her friends had gotten her, especially Yuki's large box of green tea. She'd been worried she would run out before the winter ended, with the two of them drinking what her mother had sent.

Dom, Raoul, Neal and Merric thoroughly appreciated the griffin feather headbands she'd made for them, and she was happy she had such a wealth of the feathers. Raoul and Neal had both given her books on tactics, which she would enjoy on the winter evenings, and Dom had given her a set of ten handkerchiefs, embroidered with her initials in blue, outlined in cream. His note made her smile.

_Kel- You complained so bitterly on the road back from Scanra about being down to your last handkerchief, since you normally carry so many. Don't worry, I didn't let Wolset near the embroidery, not after he nearly ruined your flag. -Dom_

The children spent the morning playing with the small games and toys they'd been given, and after lunch, she and Yuki dressed in traditional Yamani clothing to do an exhibition of their skill with the glaive and shukusen. Kel grumbled about Yuki conveniently having a kimono in just the right size for Kel, but she wore the thing, if only to please her friend. Not having a kimono, Buri kept to her normal work clothes, but the entire camp seemed delighted to see Kel and Yuki dressed in such a fashion and showing off their best tricks.

With Buri, they did a simpler fan dance, then a much more complicated two person sequence that the K'mir would not have been able to keep up with. Once their naginata display was done, everyone else got involved in the various competitions in archery, wrestling, and quarterstaff. She cheered Dom when he wrestled one of the blacksmiths, and smiled as he handled defeat with excellent humor. She cheered Neal and Merric during their bout with swords, then faced the two of them with her glaive, still wearing her beautiful kimono. She changed into proper practice clothes, and the padded jackets they wore instead of full armor, and began tilting with the other knights.

By the time the sun set, and the big fires had been lit, she was happily tired and wearing a dress. That had been another midwinter surprise, one Yuki had brought up from the capital months before, apparently from Kel's mother, but Lalasa had obviously had a hand in it, since it fit her well. It was beautiful, a russet red wool overdress with a cream wool underdress. The trumpet sleeves, trimmed in cream, hung open from the elbow to show off the beautifully embellished sleeves of the underdress. The underdress had small knotted buttons running along the outside of her arms all the way from her wrists to her shoulders, with beautifully intricate woven trim, in the same cream and red of the dress, running alone each side of the narrow divide. The square neckline showed off collarbones she'd certainly never considered elegant before tonight. A narrow piece of cream fabric, with the same woven trim as her underdress, formed a belt that somehow made her realize she was not near as thick waisted as she'd always thought. The full red skirt was slashed with cream panels, which flared open when she spun. Which she certainly hadn't demonstrated to Loey when she'd helped her lace the back of the dress, since no self-respecting knight would think to do such a thing. Loey had even insisted on helping her with her hair, which was long enough to pin back away from her face. Mirrors were hard to come by in their refugee camp, but her small hand mirror had shown her she was pleased with the effect.

She smiled as she strolled through their large mess hall, meeting happy faces of her refugees with nods. Tables had been shifted to make space for dancing and the two large hearths crackled with their huge midwinter fires. She felt proud in this dress, of herself as a woman as well as a commander. She remembered walking with Cleon, the day before he sat his ordeal, in the pretty dress she'd worn then. He'd called her beautiful, but she'd known it had been the dress. If he'd said the same now, she might have believed him. Her hands smoothed the soft wool over her hips.

When her former knight master glanced at her, his eyes widened in surprise. She grinned. "A dress, Kel? When Buri's not threatening to have me cram you into it?"

She laughed. "Yuki's had it for me since she came up with your wife. It's a midwinter present from my mother, so I have to wear it at least once." Maybe she would wear it more than once. Maybe. "At least I didn't pull guard duty tonight. I can't imagine this is very practical wear for walking the walls."

Raoul grinned and clapped her on the back. "I suppose not." In an odd gesture, he extended his arm, and after a beat she realized she was supposed to take it. She did, and they began strolling together. "I must say, I am very much enjoying this style of midwinter party."

Kel was too. Food had been laid out on long tables, at the walls, so that people could serve themselves. Her people were scattered around the mess, chatting and eating together as they pleased. "It is nice to not be so formal. Think the king will let us plan the midwinter festivities the next time we're in Corus?"

He laughed. "Now that would be both a joy and a nightmare. Can you imagine some stuffed shirt conservative being forced to slice his own ham and rub elbows with the common folk? Ha!" She laughed as well. It was an amusing image. "Still, I'm hoping the midwinter after the Grand Progress might set a tradition, though I'm not counting on it."

Kel smiled. "I'm sure we'll hear all about this year's parties when people come back in the spring."

Raoul patted her hand, seeing the direction of her thoughts immediately, and which people's return she would be concerned with. "Yes, and knowing Jesslaw, we'll be told how it wasn't nearly as jolly as your Scanran jaunt, while Wyldon sighs in the background about how no amount of time will serve to beat the lad into a respectable young man."

Kel gripped her former knight master's arm in thanks. She was worried for Owen, and his year mates, as much as she didn't want to be. "Quite true." With a cheer from the gathered crowd, a group of people with musical instruments sat at benches at one end of the hall and began the tapping and tuning that preceded a performance. "I think that is our signal to retreat, Raoul, unless you'd like to lead my refugees in the first dance?"

She felt Raoul's shudder under her finger tips. "I should think not. Come, I see Buri over there, and she's got a jug of something steaming."

Kel followed, happy to oblige. She knew how to dance, of course, as it was something all pages learned. She'd hated being the only girl at dance lessons, since she'd always been forced to take the female role in demonstrations, which she'd usually made a mess of. Still, she was graceful enough, from her weapons training, but dancing was not something she particularly enjoyed. She was happy to settle down across from Buri and Raoul with a steaming mug of cider.

It was, however, fun to watch the dancing. These were country dances, not the strictly choreographed court steps, where partners brushed hands and moved away from each other, but noisy, frolicsome affairs filled with whooping and women being picked up and twirled before they could retreat to their own line.

She pointed out Neal and Yuki to Buri, laughing at her staid friend dashing through the rapid steps and twirls of the dance. Buri laughed too, and leaned her head on Raoul's shoulder in a way that suggested he should perhaps dance with his lady wife at least once. Kel cleared her throat and got his attention, raising her eyebrows and nodding towards the dance floor. With a theatrical sigh, Raoul stood and extended his hand to Buri. "My beautiful K'miri dove, would you do me the extreme honor of allowing me to escort you in a pass of the dance floor, and the even more extreme honor of neglecting to point out when I manage to tread on your toes in my clumsiness?"

Buri laughed and slapped her breeches-clad thigh. "Oh, you lout. You're too graceful to step on my toes, even if you won't admit it. One dance, and only because this actually looks like a bit of fun for once. Be careful, or I'll make you take your former squire for a turn, so she can show off in that beautiful dress." Buri winked at Kel, who swallowed a giggle in a cough.

"I wouldn't do that to you, sir. Plus, I'm not wearing boots. I wouldn't want to waste my healers fixing the toes you'd break!" Raoul made a rude gesture at her before escorting his wife to the center of the hall as the next dance pattern was called out.

She forced her face to smoothness when Dom plonked himself down next to her, two other men of his squad taking seats across from them. She made greetings and exchanged wishes of good in the new year, and poured cider into the mugs they'd brought. With a smile, she stole a piece of ham off Dom's plate, trying to act as they normally did. It helped break the tension between them, slightly, and made Dom's men laugh, so there was that, at least.

Gildes of Veldine had been with the squad since before Kel had become Raoul's squire, but Emitt of Darne was one of the new additions. Still, he seemed to fit with the group well, and had settled into their teasing, trick playing ways with ease. He wasn't quite so used to teasing the second Lady Knight in a century, but Gildes certainly was. "And might I say, Lady Kel, you're certainly putting the rest of us to shame, shining up so well. Though perhaps we can still claim you, and you can be a credit to Third Company."

She reached out and punched his upper arm, glad the trumpet sleeve of her overdress was split from the elbow down; she would have been cross if she'd trailed the cream edging through his plate of food. Third Company really was her band of highly amusing male relatives. It was always interesting to see how they looked at her; some took the roles of uncles, and some were brothers, older and younger, and their own age never seemed to matter. Gildes was certainly a younger brother, for all that he was probably a decade her senior. "You watch it, or our Lord is going to find out who swapped out his no bugs potion for powdered nettles last summer."

The blond man tried to look affronted under his grin. "You wouldn't, Kel. You know he'd kill me if he found out, and you're too kind to send me to such a death."

She adopted a stern face. "Yes well, see how kind I am if you keep commenting on what I'm wearing." That made Emitt laugh, along with Dom and Gildes. She looked to the new man, who was probably just nearing his eighteenth birthday. You had to be at least seventeen to join the Own, though most recruits were in their early twenties, so he'd probably been recruited after last Midwinter, and come North with most of the army in the early spring. She couldn't remember him specifically, though she'd helped Raoul whittle down the lists of potential recruits. "You're settling in with this bunch of maniacs, then, Emitt?"

She struggled not to name him a boy in her mind, for all she had only had her eighteenth birthday the past summer. "Yes, Lady Kel."

"Kel's just fine, thank you. Now I can finally understand my Lord hating people refusing to use his name!"

Dom elbowed her in the waist, and she pushed him back. "Not enough to stop calling him 'my Lord', though."

She was forced to laugh. "Eat your dinner you miserable git. Stop ruining these men with your terrible example of proper behavior!"

The arm he draped around her shoulder made her suppress a shiver. "Ah, but we have you to school us in propriety, Mother." He hugged her shoulders firmly and whispered in her ear, "Cold?" Apparently she hadn't hidden her shiver as well as she'd hoped. She shook her head, but didn't remove his arm from her shoulders as he continued to eat one handed while his men joked.

When he cleared his plate, he pushed it away from him with a happy sigh and patted his stomach, but didn't move. "Not going for seconds, Dom? Are you feeling completely well?"

The older man laughed. "This was thirds, Kel. I think everyone in the Own knows to eat when we can."

Kel snorted. "I've never met a member of the Own who couldn't always eat. The only time you're not starving is when you're too full to move." She poked Dom in the stomach, which made him flinch and snatch both his hands to his stomach, as if she'd poked him with a knife.

"You are a cruel woman, Protector of the Small, though you try and maintain that façade of cool kindness. I'll have you know I am not too full to move. Come, let's walk." He stood and didn't wait for her assent, merely pulling her up by her elbow. "Excuse us lads. Try not miss us too much!"

She nearly tripped over her skirts as she was pulled over the bench, glaring at Dom for all she was worth. Still, she followed him, wondering what he was up to. It was odd, wearing soft soled shoes while he was in boots, since their normal height difference was increased by an inch or more. It was never a large difference, his six foot one to her five foot ten, but she felt it tonight. He'd not relinquished her arm, either, merely wrapped it around his. Her free hand went to her hair, the nervous gesture checking if her pins were still secure.

There was laughter in Dom's voice when he spoke. "Oh, calm down, Kel. Just come for a little walk with me. I need to get my stomach working, and I feel like we haven't spoken on our own in days."

_Blast,_ she thought. _He knows I was avoiding him, then._ "Oh, fine Dom. But only to spare me your grumblings from indigestion later."

He led her slowly along the edge of the dancers, and they made a full circuit of the cleared area in silence. She looked at him sideways through lowered lashes, wondering what, exactly, this was about. Did he want to tell her off for the kiss she'd given him?

When he finally spoke, his words surprised her. "Dance with me?"

She looked at him, startled. Was he just being polite? She had to say no, or she'd wind up dancing with half the men in camp, who would feel obligated once they saw her on the dance floor. "Of course." Her words just fell out of her mouth before she could stop them.

Dom grinned and led her to the lines of dancers forming for the next dance. He finally relinquished her arm, so she could move across the open space to the line of women. She was between two of the younger women, women about her age, she reminded herself ruefully, but she smiled at them both before concentrating on the steps the caller announced before the musicians started up.

Rolling her eyes, she curtsied to Dom, then got lost in the quick patterns the caller yelled out over the music. Once the first repeat, with the series of steps for both lines, was complete, the caller went back to singing and the music sped up, leaving Kel to remember the patterns on her own.

The dance was an amusing series of forward and backward steps, interspersed with claps and shouts, as well as a highly amusing pass, where you clasped the person opposite you by their right elbow, with your right hand, and spun in a tight circle as fast as you could. As the music sped up, you spun faster and faster.

Every time they came to this portion of the dance, she and Dom grinned at each other and spun for all they were worth, laughing the whole time. Even the promenade of the head couple to the end of the line, signaling the next repeat of the pattern, was not the staid sort of steps used at court; no, here, the man grasped his partner by the waist and they galloped from one end to the other, laughing as the other dancers whooped and cheered.

When Raoul and Buri galloped past them, Buri letting out a K'Miri war cry, Kel clapped as hard as she could to the time of the music, smiling widely at them, then across at Dom. She wasn't surprised that her former Knight Master hadn't kept to his promise of one dance. This kind of dancing was far too much fun. When it was their turn to promenade, Dom had to help Kel hold up a fistful of her full skirts, so neither of them tripped, but they couldn't stop grinning at each other.

When the dance finally ended, Kel was breathing hard and still laughing, but as predicted, now that she had started, she couldn't really stop. She danced another with Dom, one where the woman was passed from partner to partner, and then Saefas insisted she take a turn with her. After that, the evening was a blur of dancing. She could only ever pause long enough to grab a mug of cold cider before someone else demanded she take to the floor again.

Finally, the musicians decided they could play no more and the dancing ended. She felt flushed and hot, but happy. She sat, her feet tired, with Neal and Yuki, talking about how woefully boring the dances at court would seem after such a lively evening. Kel grinned when Dom appeared, a tray in hand. Two pitchers, beaded with condensation, as well as mugs and a plate of pastries, were set down on the table. "Cousin! You must have been reading my mind. I thought I was about to expire from thirst."

Dom grinned down at Neal. "Anything wrong with your legs, Sir Meathead?"

Neal rolled his eyes, then sighed theatrically. "Only that I've nearly danced them to nubs with my lovely betrothed."

Yuki's eyes crinkled and she hid a small smile behind her fan. "Thank you, Dom. Kel, make space for Sergeant Domitan."

Kel refused to scowl at the plump Yamani, and slid down the bench. Dom smiled at her and sank down next to her. "Ta, Kel. I've got normal cider, and some local brew. They told me it's called scrumpy, and apparently it was made from apples, once upon a time." After the last time she'd been around Dom with alcohol in her system, she decided to stay away from whatever it was Dom had acquired.

Still, chatting with Neal, Yuki and Dom was nice. With the music having ended, the mess was clearing out, as people went off to their beds. Most stopped to say goodnight to Kel, though none stayed past a quick couple of words.

Still, she was surprised when she eventually looked up and found that they were amongst the very last stragglers still in the large hall. A yawn split her face, and she clapped a hand over her mouth. "Excuse me!" She managed, through her fingers. "I need to be getting to bed."

Dom rose with her, and stretched. "I'll come along. I'm feeling ready for bed, myself."

Neal glanced at Yuki, then sighed. "Good night then, both of you. See you in the morning."

Kel shivered when they were out in the night air. A light snow was falling around them, and Kel hoped it stayed that way. She knew no one was going to want to dig the camp out in the morning. "Oh, it's cold tonight."

When Dom's arm dropped over her shoulders, she almost jumped in surprise. "You should have brought a coat."

She smiled up at him. "I should have worn boots. It's not too far to be without a coat, but with the snow, my toes are going to get wet."

She should, after all these years, have recognized the mischievous glint in the sergeant's eye, but somehow she didn't. "Well," he announced, "We can't have you with wet toes." The next moment she was being lifted into his arms and carried towards headquarters.

"Dom!" she hissed, as loud as she dared, with most of the camp on their way to bed, or still clustered around the two large fires built in the middle of the open space of the camp, still drinking and singing quietly. "Put me down this instant!"

The sergeant happily ignored her and made quick work of the distance between the mess and the headquarters building, with her sputtering in indignation the whole way. Finally, he put her down, opened the door and bowed her in. Because it was quite cold, she swept inside before turning around to berate him. "I don't appreciate being _manhandled_ like some court lady, Dom!"

One side of his mouth quirked up in a smile. "And I don't appreciate you kissing me and passing it off as some kind of trick, Kel." She should have laughed, or blustered, or something, but she froze, and in that moment, she knew she betrayed herself. Dom's nod confirmed her fears. "If you wanted a kiss for midwinter luck, you could have at least had the decency to kiss me properly."

Her mouth opened to protest, but suddenly Dom was there, his lips on hers, and this kiss was nothing like the almost chaste brush of the lips she'd given him. His mouth was insistent, demanding, and for the first time in her life she felt herself yielding without a fight. Her hands gripped his tunic, not trusting her knees to support herself.

When he broke away, grinning, she was out of breath and struggling to compose herself. With a wink, he said, "Midwinter luck, Kel," and sauntered off to bed.

* * *

**A/N:** Hope you enjoyed this chapter! I'd love to heard from you if you did. Yes, this is me shamelessly begging for reviews. I said it.


	8. Chapter 8

Getting to bed that night was difficult. Irnai and Tobe had fallen asleep in her bed, and she hadn't had the heart to move them, so she'd struggled out of her ridiculous dress on her own. She'd even crumpled it up and thrown it in a corner in a fit of pique, before deciding that she couldn't mistreat such a beautifully made article of clothing. With a sigh, she'd picked it up and folded it carefully before shoving it in her trunk.

So, she'd found herself in Irnai's small bed, with her feet hanging off the end and rest a distant dream. She was still wearing the beautiful underdress, as her night shirt was under the pillow on her bed, Tobe's fists clutching it, along with her pillow, tightly.

Dom had kissed her. Had he been drunk? He'd had whatever scrumpy was when they were sitting with Neal and Yuki. Still, unless the stuff was just another name for straight brandy, he couldn't have had been that drunk. It must have been the gods-curst dress. The thing was beautiful enough to make even _her_ look halfway decent. He'd never have kissed her if she'd been in her normal clothes. Her fingers toyed with the knot-work buttons running up her arm, feeling their ridges in the dark.

How was she going to face him in the morning? She'd as much as admitted she hadn't been playing a trick on him when she'd kissed him, and then he'd hauled off and kissed her. Why, by the Goddess, would he do such a thing? It made no sense. She ignored the tiny voice in her head that suggested he might have wanted to; that was pure fantasy. Her thoughts had continued to swirl for some time before she managed to drift into a very fitful sleep.

When a sharp curse woke her, she bolted upright and was out of bed before she could think, her glaive in hand. When she skidded to a stop in the common room of her headquarters, she wasn't sure she should want to laugh as much as she did.

The room was covered in snow, as if the roof had been removed, and then a pack of children had been set free to play. Snowmen abounded, some wearing bits or armor or helmets, one in a blue and silver tabard of the King's Own. That gave her a hint as to who was behind this rather involved prank. What she didn't expect to see was Raoul running out of his room, clad only in his loincloth and covered in snow. Not expecting the floor of the common room to be covered in the stuff, he tripped and went sprawling, bellowing curses as he fell.

She looked across the room to see Dom emerging from his room, just wearing a shirt but with his sword in hand. When he saw her former Knight-master go tumbling, he just started laughing, and Kel couldn't help but join him, most of her embarrassment from the previous evening pushed to the side for the moment.

Buri was close on Raoul's heels, brushing snow from her hair and straightening a shirt she'd obviously just pulled on. She grinned and shook her head at her husband, who was struggling to his feet. "Sergeant Domitan!" Raoul bellowed. Kel winced. Raoul really knew how to bellow so that you knew he meant it.

Dom immediately stood to attention. "Sir!"

"What in the name of the Goddess is the meaning of this?"

Dom looked around the room, obviously trying to keep his amusement from showing and failing. Kel managed to school her face to stillness with more success. "Well, sir, it seems we've had some kind of indoor blizzard." Dom paused. "You know what, sir, I actually have no idea. The lads are on their own on this one."

Raoul accepted the shirt Buri handed him and pulled it over his head. "You mean you had nothing to do with this?" Dom shook his head. "Hm. Well, it's certainly original, I'll give them that. I didn't appreciate, however, being woken by having a very large bucket of snow thrown onto our bed. If they've got enough energy for this kind of nonsense, they've got energy to clean it up, and then we're doing drills."

Now Kel's orphans had come out to see what all the noise was about, and were quickly entranced by the snow around them. What was a nuisance outside, one that had lost most of its appeal over the last couple of months, was new again, and Kel forced herself not to see a few snowballs that were flying on the edge of her vision. Until, of course, one hit her in the back of her head. Then, well, her honor insisted she get involved.

The look on Peytar's face declared that he'd been the one whose aim had been off, and as quick as she could, she scooped up a fistful of snow and flung it so it landed on the eight-year-old's head. He squealed, and suddenly Kel was fair game for the other children, who attacked with a volley of snowy missiles. She could hear Raoul laughing as she defended herself against eight to one odds, then found her odds shifted slightly as Dom joined the fray. He picked up Tobe and Rhyl, tucked one under each arm and spun them until they were laughing hysterically.

Still, Kel found herself buried under the six other children and, laughing, admitted her defeat. She accepted Buri's hand and stood, brushing snow off her dress. She shivered slightly, and clapped her hands together. "Alright, children, either back to bed or get dressed properly." There were sighs all around, and a chorus of 'yes, Mother', led by Dom, before everyone retreated to their rooms. Dom took an extra second before he closed his door, and was not at all subtle at the way he looked her up and down, and then winked. It took her a moment to remember she was only wearing her thin underdress, before she crossed her arms over her chest, whirled around and dashed back into her room.

Irnai and Tobe were looking at her when she slammed the door behind herself. Tobe looked surprised when it took her a moment to return her face to Yamani stillness; Irnai just looked amused. Kel gave the young seer a long look, then sighed; she decided she didn't want to know.

With a sigh, she settled on her bed, forcing her sparrows to shift out of the warm hollows the children had left. The birds cheeped their annoyance and the two children climbed in with her, squeezing into the small space. Sparrows settled on the blankets. She ruffled hair on two small heads. "You left me no space last night."

Tobe looked at Kel, his eyes, blue like a summer morning sky, meeting hers. "Irnai said it was three to one you wouldn't need your bed."

She gently cuffed Tobe's the top of Tobe's head. "Well, I needed it." She glanced sidelong at the brown haired girl tucked under one of her arms. "And you, little miss, don't go seeing where I sleep, even if that only takes opening your eyes."

Irnai snuggled closer to her. "I can't decide what I see. Many paths are possible, and some possibilities are visible to me."

Kel snorted. "Don't give me any of that nonsense. You certainly don't have to tell Master Tobias what possibilities you see." She stretched her back as much as she was able; her spine was one massive cramp. She knew any thought of getting back to sleep were hopeless, as much as she wanted to. The dawn light was coming through the curtains, and she was going to be late meeting Yuki. "You could have at least had the decency to warn me."

She noted Irnai's rolled eyed, but just smiled at the two children and tucked them back into her bed, ignoring Tobe's sleepy-eyed protests. She could look after herself until after breakfast.

Kel abbreviated her practice with Yuki, only going through a quick warm up and one bout before making her excuses. She snuck into the mess hall before breakfast was properly put out, snagged a bowl of fruit studded porridge and retreated to her headquarters. The common room was still being cleared of snow, and she traded jokes with a few of the lads before taking her bowl into her small office. It seemed Dom, Raoul, Buri and her orphans had all gone back to bed. The clerks weren't at their work yet, but she had things she'd left undone from the week spent with friends. Today, when she wanted to avoid a certain blue eyed sergeant, seemed like a good day to get caught up.

Kel skipped lunch. It wasn't until Tobe came in, looking ready to scold with a tray in hand, that she actually realized that she had. As much as she'd used her paperwork as an excuse to avoid Dom until she could get her head around things, she actually had a good bit of work to do. A new barracks for refugees was being assembled, and the woodworkers were looking for more men to help with the cutting and shaping. The building itself wouldn't be assembled until the snow was mostly done for the winter, but everything that could be done beforehand was getting accomplished.

She'd had a long think, and decided that two of her older orphans wouldn't be hard done to learn the woodworking trade. Keon was fifteen, and Barrabul was 13, both of an age where they should be on their way to finding work. Even if they didn't like the woodworking trade, they'd be learning useful skills from experienced men; it would do them no harm.

This was a question that was plaguing her about the orphans who she'd taken in. How was she going to establish them in careers? What would happen to them once the war was over, or when she got a new posting? She was doing what she could, with teaching them their letters and sums, but it didn't feel like enough. Loey was fifteen now, and as a commoner might be thinking about marriage in the not too distant future, might have been married already if not for the war. Still, it was a headache for another day. For now she had to deal with the problems she could handle.

So, after sending for the two oldest lads, and telling them to report to the man who headed up the woodworkers, she went back to paperwork. The next time she looked up, she jumped. Dom was standing in her doorway, leaning casually against the jamb, a tray with a teapot balanced against his hip. With effort, she kept her face still, though she couldn't hide that he'd made her jump. Half of his mouth quirked up in a grin. "Raoul told me to tell you that your camp isn't going to fall down around your ears if you take a fifteen minute break."

The pot was deposited on her desk, Dom dropped down into one of her chairs, and still she didn't know what to say to him. His mere presence reminded her of the feel of his lips against hers, and she couldn't find room in her mind for anything else.

Dom's voice broke through the thoughts swirling through a mind that felt worse than useless. "Raoul also told me that he'd take over beating my squad into the ground so that someone would make sure you took enough time over your tea to not scald your tongue. I thought we could have that Yamani tea you made me when you came to Steadfast for the wedding, so I just brought hot water."

Kel managed to nod, then fell into the familiar routine of making tea. The proper bowls were set out, and Kel opened her tea caddy, only to remember she'd used the last of what was in it two days before, with Yuki. She was glad, as it gave her something else to do. A package of the powdered tea was in the bottom drawer in her desk, so she got that out, along with the small sieve and spoon that were with it, and sieved more tea into the caddy. The correct amount of sieved powder was placed in each bowl. When she checked the water, it was a good temperature; too hot and the tea would be far too bitter. A few quick strokes with the whisk and she had a good amount of delicate foam in each bowl. With a bow, she passed Dom his. His bow was in the Tortallan style, and had a slightly mocking tone to it, since he remained seated. Tortallan bows couldn't look right when you were seated. She raised her bowl to her face, taking a moment to inhale the delicate scent.

"This really is an interesting tea you drink, Kel. I think…"

Again, Dom didn't observe the silence she was used to. Right now, she needed that silence. She cut him off. "Dom, shush. Take a few moments to enjoy the tea, then we may speak."

She glanced up at the man through her lashes, feeling slightly guilty for snapping at the sergeant. She just felt confused, and worried, and he was at the center of all that. She sipped her tea, slowly, and enjoyed the silence. Finally, she felt strong enough to break it. "Thank you. Obviously I needed the break." She met his bright blue eyes. "I'm sorry for snapping at you."

He smiled at her, taking another sip of his tea, before speaking. "You didn't snap. The only time you ever even raise your voice is on the battlefield. Do I owe you an apology?"

It was clear that he was asking about the fact that he'd kissed her. "No." It was out of her mouth before she'd had a chance to think, but it was true. "You don't owe me an apology. I," she hesitated, "I didn't mind." The words sounded awful in her ears; she fought not to wince. "I liked it. I'm just trying to sort things out in my head, and I have a lot of work to do."

Dom ran a hand through his thick hair, in a gesture that made the family resemblance between him and Neal that much more evident. Her fingers itched to smooth it. "Too much work to sit with me for ten minutes? I can't go back to Raoul so quickly, or I'll be in trouble." Perhaps he felt some of the same nervousness she did.

"Well, I wouldn't want to get you in trouble." She returned his smile, relaxing a little, and then glanced at the papers she'd moved to arrange the tea things. "Dom, can we just be normal for the moment? I need a bit more time to sort myself out, and I just want to feel calm for a little while."

"Don't worry, Kel." He emptied his bowl and handed it back to her. "So, what has you so focused today?"

She made him another cup of tea and handed the bowl back. Obviously the idea of being quiet with the drink hadn't lasted. "I am trying to make sure we've got all the supplies we need for the a new barracks going up in the spring. The master carpenter wants me to find some extra roofing material, in case we need to do more repairs than expected on the roofs we've already got once the snow melts. I might write to Mindelan and see if Andres can spare anything."

Dom nodded. "It's not a bad plan. I'd somehow forgotten that your home fief is so near."

She nodded. "About half a day's ride south of Frasrlund, if you push. We have fairly good timber stocks, and if Anders can spare it, he will. I know he'd like to be doing more for the war; he was injured fighting in the Immortal's War." Dom nodded, understanding that a person who had trained to fight for his country would want to do what he could when fighting was no longer an option. "I know General Vanget has nothing to spare; as he's told me quite emphatically in his latest communiqué." She smiled very faintly. "It seems I've used up all the goodwill we earned in Scanra."

"It had to happen eventually. Though our Lord still lets me avoid the odd watch when I remind him how I pulled his former squire out of the fire last summer."

Kel rolled her eyes. "You're shameless." She got another mocking half bow, and made herself, and Dom, another bowl of tea.

Dom let her enjoy the silence for the time it took her to take two sips. "Your young lad is getting better with his spear; Raoul was putting your younglings through their paces while I was drilling my squad, before I got sent to make you take a break."

Her lips pressed tightly together, but she made an effort not to frown. "Tobe practices a lot. And you didn't need to come and sit with me."

"I wanted to. And I'm sure Tobe's skill has a considerable amount to do with his teacher, as well as his dedication. He did make several comments about how he'd do better if he had one of your 'pig-stickers', as he calls it."

Kel nodded. "I've adapted some of the moves I use with the glaive, as well as adapting the spear training I had as a page, but I wish I had glaives for all the children. Still, they do well with the spears."

Dom noticed her glance back at her paperwork. "So I can't keep your attention for ten minutes without you longing for your work?" She smiled, a little. "Fine, then, Protector. I'll leave you to tending your flock." He dipped a finger in the pot of hot water, then brushed it across her cheek. His touch made her shiver. "You had ink on your face." She stuck out her tongue at him, but he ignored her, simply picking up the pot and tray he'd brought. He paused, halfway out her door. "We're going to talk later, Kel. You've had your reprieve; don't expect another one."

She gritted her teeth and nodded, still not knowing what she wanted to say.

* * *

**A/N: **Hope you guys enjoyed that! Sorry this took me so long, I had to rewrite this chapter a couple times as I just couldn't get the right feel from it. Hopefully this works for you guys! Thanks for all the reviews and alerts so far, I really appreciate them.


	9. Chapter 9

Kel didn't get much more done that afternoon. Instead, she found herself thinking, long and hard, about Dom. From what he'd said as he left her office, he was still thinking about their kiss, and expected to discuss things with her. What would he want to discuss? Had he made a mistake, kissing her? Did he want to tell her to forget it? She didn't think so.

That left her thinking about what she wanted from him. The thought of him courting her made her blood run cold. She didn't want to get married, certainly not any time soon, maybe never. Would Dom even be the man she would want to marry? He was a friend, certainly, and she had a crush on him, but she'd had a crush on Neal that had, thankfully, faded. Her feelings for Cleon hadn't lasted either. She found herself sighing frequently.

By the time Tobe knocked on her door to remind her that missing dinner wouldn't be acceptable at all, she hadn't figured out what she would say if Dom decided that 'later' had come. She knew she ate; she had food on her plate, and then she didn't, but she didn't remember tasting anything. She managed to keep up conversation, falling back on instincts learned in a diplomatic household, but she couldn't have recalled what she said to Neal or Yuki if her life had depended on it.

Dom, thankfully, gave her space. He didn't even sit next to her when they all retired to the headquarters building to have drinks, instead badgering Buri until she agreed to play a round of the K'Miri strategy game with him. Kel was irritated that she was completely aware of him, even as she read a Yamani fairy story to the orphans. Even the translating she did by rote; she knew the story well enough that she could mostly recite it by memory, and only paused to show the beautifully painted pictures in Yuki's book.

Still, she was surprised when she noticed that everyone had gone to bed, aside from Raoul, Buri, Dom and herself. Had she even said goodnight to Yuki, Neal and Merric? Dom and Buri were still playing their game, and Raoul settled next to her. She'd been about to slip out, herself, her courage completely deserting her. Hopefully Raoul wouldn't keep her long.

"Good evening, Kel." She nodded, still slightly distracted and glancing at her bedroom door longingly. "I was thinking of making the Own drill naked tomorrow. Would that be alright with you?" She nodded, not paying attention. Raoul snapped his fingers in front of her nose and she started. "That's enough, Kel. You've been distracted all evening. What's going on? Have you finally been pushed over the edge by the mountains of paperwork we have to slog through?"

She sat up straighter, embarrassed to have been caught out. Had he said something about drilling his men _naked_? "Just have a few things on my mind, sir."

"I'll put aside the fact that I've told you I won't have any of this 'sir' nonsense. Tell me a few of the things on your mind."

She picked something at random. "We need more roofing supplies for the spring, so I wrote my brother Anders at Mindelan, to see if he can spare anything."

"Roofs won't go up until spring. You'll hear from him long before that. Give me something I'll believe, Kel, if you won't give me the truth."

She bit back a sigh and forced herself not to look at Dom. "I'm worried about my orphans. The older ones need proper work, not just tasks around a refugee camp. This war won't go on forever, and they will need a way to earn their keep, one day."

Raoul nodded, slightly. "Yes, you've got a few older ones that will need trades soon. How old is the oldest lad?"

"Keon's fifteen, and so is the oldest girl, Loesia. I've asked the head of the woodworkers to take on Keon, and Barrabul, who's thirteen, to see if either lad has a hand for it." Even if it wasn't her main concern, it certainly still weighed on her mind. Having eight children to look after, including Tobe, wasn't easy. "I've no idea what Loey wants to do. Yuki is going to start having different people come and teach the children different skills, at the little school she's arranged. Hopefully she'll find something she likes."

Raoul looked thoughtful. "I've seen her at your practices. She might not do badly with the Riders, if you can teach her to ride. I think she's got the desire to have the training."

Now it was Kel's turn to be thoughtful. "You might be on to something there. She's a fair hand with a weapon, and she pays attention to what you tell her. She already knows her way around saddling and currying a horse. I'm sure I've got some free time, somewhere in my day, to teach her to ride." She smiled at her former knight-master. "I think married life has made a huge improvement on your intelligence, Raoul."

He made a rude gesture. "Yes, well, I can have a good idea of my own once in a blue moon." He sighed and looked at his wife, then lowered his voice. "I think Buri might be going south in the spring." Kel raised an eyebrow, surprised. "She needs something to do with herself, and I don't think tagging along with Third Company is going to fulfill that need for her. She makes noise about riding along with whichever Rider group is nearest Steadfast when her feet start to itch, but I don't think that will be enough for her. Maybe I'm just feeling guilty, with her giving up her position so we could get married and me being allowed to keep doing as I please."

Kel had never thought of their situation in such a light. "I don't think Buri would have given up her command if she hadn't wanted to, Raoul. She could have easily commanded the Riders from the border, as you're commanding the Own. She complained about the paperwork nearly as much as you do, when I was your squire."

Raoul's grin came back, though it was still a bit weak. "That's true. But she does love training the new crop of Riders. Maybe you could ask her to escort your young miss down, if she decides to go that way. I don't want her to feel guilty for leaving me, when she'd rather be doing something constructive."

"Of course, Raoul." Kel wondered if he and the K'Mir would try for children. Certainly, Buri would be older for a first time mother, but having a child at thirty-five was not at all unheard of. Kel's mother had been thirty-seven when she'd had Kel. Still, it was none of her business. "I'll have a chat with Loey before you go back to Steadfast."

Raoul stretched his long legs out in front of himself. "Now that we've gotten a start on the thing you're pretending is bothering you, can we talk about what's really wrong?" Involuntarily, her eyes went to the pair playing a game by the fire. Raoul rolled his eyes. "Fine, I'll corner you when you're alone tomorrow, if you don't want to tell me now." He stood and stretched. "Buri, if you're done thrashing my sergeant, I'd like to go to bed, now."

Buri looked at Raoul, then back at the board slightly wistfully, before standing up and stretching. "Alright then. At least you're saving Dom the embarrassment of losing to me yet again."

Dom snorted. "I learned how to play three days ago, and I think I would have you if we played this game out until the end. Goodnight, you two. Kel, have a mug of cider with me before bed? I'm not ready to retire just yet."

She nodded, her throat dry, but managed to say goodnight to Raoul and Buri. She'd hoped he would have been distracted enough by the end of his game with Buri for her to slip off to bed, had Raoul not cornered her. Perhaps they were all conspiring together.

Kel accepted the mug of hot cider he handed her before he sat, leaving a good bit of space between them on the bench. After a few seconds of staring at her hands, she managed to blurt out, "Was it because I was wearing a dress?"

"What?" She glanced at Dom through her lashes, to see confusion writ large on his face.

She forced herself to meet his eyes. "Did you kiss me because I was wearing a dress?"

"What has that got to do with the price of peas in Persopolis?"

She forced herself to explain. "You've never taken notice of me before."

Dom rolled his eyes. "Kel, just because you happened to be wearing a dress when I kissed you, that doesn't mean that had anything to do with it." He scrubbed a hand through his hair, and when his eyes met hers, he looked a bit rueful. "I've known you since you were a girl, Kel. If I'd been thinking about kissing you since you were fourteen, there would be problems with me." She decided not to point out that she's been thirteen still when they first met. "When you kissed me a few days ago, well, it made me think about things a little differently. We've flirted for years, but I just assumed you thought of me as an older brother."

"Well, I don't. And you're not that much older than me." She bit the inside of her lip.

"I'm seven years older than you, Kel. As we get older, it's less of an issue, but it certainly would have been an issue a couple of years ago. Plus, you were my commander's squire. If he hadn't dismembered me for looking at you as a woman, the rest of Third Company would have."

Kel smiled, slightly. "So you're not going to blame drink, or some trickster god I don't know?"

Dom grinned back at her. "No. I'd be lying if I said alcohol didn't play a small role. That scrumpy stuff was ridiculously strong, and went straight to my head. But no, that's not why I kissed you. I kissed you because I wanted to, and it just helped me stop second guessing myself long enough to actually go through with it. Plus, it helped me forget that you could probably drub me from one side of the practice field to the other if you decided you didn't like me kissing you."

"Well, you have no worries on that front." She wanted to snatch the words back out of the air, but it was too late.

Dom's grin was mischievous. "Am I to take from that that you _enjoyed_ kissing me, Lady Knight?"

She certainly felt like Sakuyo was laughing at her. "I admit nothing."

He slid closer to her on the bench. "Perhaps I need to refresh your memory?" When she glanced up at him, his face was only inches away from hers, and then he closed even that distance.

His lips felt wonderful against hers, and for a few wonderful minutes she got lost in the sensation of his kiss. When she felt as if she was getting dizzy from a lack of air, she forced herself to pull away. "We should stop."

Dom trailed kisses along her jaw line, but she caught the words he murmured in her ear. "We should." He didn't.

His lips found hers again, and again all rational thought fled. His hands were on her face, in her hair, and she found her own fingers tracing his cheekbones, gripping his dark locks. Again, it was a need to breathe that pushed them apart. "Dom," she breathed, "stop. I need to think."

He sighed, but pulled away, after tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. For a few minutes, he just watched her, before finally saying, "How's the thinking going for you, Kel?"

She nudged his knee with her hand. "Shush. I need to say what I want to say before you distract me again. You're too handsome for your own good, Sergeant Domitan."

Dom preened under her praise, causing her to roll her eyes. When he suddenly pulled her close, it was a surprise. "You're fairly distracting too, Kel. I've thought many times what your lashes would feel like against my skin, and I'm very much enjoying the reality of the sensation." He kissed her again, his lips pressing fiercely against hers, before letting her go with another sigh. "But you shall have your time to think, while I sit and pine."

"You'll pine and I'm a holly bush," She muttered under her breath, then suppressed the urge to blush when his grin made it obvious he'd caught the words. How many times had that thought run through her head over the years, when her friends were in the throes of some ridiculous crush, and now was the one time she had to say it out loud? Still, Dom mimed locking his lips and throwing the key in the fire, letting her know he would stay silent for the moment. After a few minutes of silent contemplation, she felt that she knew what she wanted to say to him, at last. "I don't…" she hesitated, and then continued, "I need to focus on my work. I see how my friends get when they're obsessed with a new woman, and I don't need the distraction. Plus, fighting will kick up again once the snow melts, and Mithros only knows where we'll be." She sighed. "What do you want?"

Dom made a face, pretending to be unable to open the lips he'd locked. She arched an eyebrow, and then reached into her belt pouch to produce an imaginary key with a flourish. She touched her fingertips to his lips, and then twisted her wrist, to unlock them. She was surprised when he, in turn, caught her wrist and kissed her palm. "I want you, Kel."

She knew she was blushing. "Why?"

"Because, you're beautiful and kind and calm steady and all these things I'm not. Because you are always willing to play with me, to joke, and I've never met a woman like you."

"I'm not beautiful."

"Is that all you took away from that little speech of mine? Well, Keladry of Mindelan, I very much beg to differ. You have exceptionally lovely eyes, the way they're emerald green at the edges, and have a starburst of gold at the center. I've always noticed the way they shift from gold to green, depending on the light, or perhaps some hint of the emotion passing underneath the calm exterior your face presents. Those eyes happen to be surrounded by the longest and lushest lashes that on anyone else would look like face paint. You know women rim their eyes with kohl just to simulate lashes as thick as yours?" She shook her head, refusing to look at him. "And how did you make it through page training without breaking this wonderfully delicate nose of yours?" He tapped the nose in question. "Neal used to tell me of all the scraps you'd get into."

"I did break it once, in a fight, but your uncle set it."

"Uncle Baird did an excellent job. Now where was I, yes! Your cheek bones, they must be among the most elegant I have ever seen, and I could spend an afternoon, at least, doing nothing but kissing your jaw line. It seems to have been created solely for kissing. Of course, your lips are lush and soft and I would have to spare some of the aforementioned afternoon paying them some much needed attention."

He leaned in, probably to do just that, but she put a hand over his mouth. "Stop. I know you're just being ridiculous. Ever since I was a child, I've been told how I'm an ugly, thick-waisted cow, and I'm sure seven years of training to be a knight, along with a year of knight's work, hasn't changed that."

Dom pulled her hand away from his mouth, but didn't release it. "I don't actually know how to respond to such ridiculousness. Who told you that?"

She shrugged. "My brothers' wives used to call me a cow, and the pages that didn't like me called me the Yamani lump. I'm used to being told I'm ugly."

Now Dom clamped a hand over her mouth. "Hush, Kel. Not another word. I was trying to avoid being crass and saying things about your body, but now I'm going to have to malign your eye sight. Have you even looked in a mirror in the past, let's say, five years?"

She frowned, her lips twitching against his palm. She never really looked at her body. She remembered, with embarrassment, that Lalasa had had to point out that she'd developed breasts, since she'd never noticed. Her body was a tool, something she used to accomplish tasks, something she kept strong so she could do the things she needed to do. She never really _looked_ at it. She shook her head, her eyes downcast.

"I thought that might be the case. Let it suffice to say that whoever called you 'thick-waisted' needs to have his or her eyes looked at by a healer. Yes, you're tall. That doesn't mean you lack for elegance, or beauty." Finally he dropped his hand.

"Next time I have the luxury of looking in a mirror larger than my palm, I'll reevaluate, but for the moment we'll have to agree to disagree, Dom." He rolled his eyes at her, and she ignored him. "I mean it, Dom. Anyway, it's beside the point. What do you want me _for_?" He arched an eyebrow at her, and she sighed. "Besides the obvious. I'm not that much of a fool, even if I can't compliment your taste."

He tapped her nose with his fingertip, a silent admonition for her to hush. "I like you, Kel. You've been my friend since you were a squire, and you're someone I respect both as a person and for your abilities as a warrior and commander. You came back from your ordeal, and I started thinking about how you've grown into a beautiful young woman, and then when you kissed me a few days ago, I started thinking about how it would be a shame if we didn't see what we could be."

Kel met his eyes and almost sighed with relief. She'd been slightly terrified he'd make some ridiculous declaration of undying love or something similar. "I want to take things slowly, and develop as we like."

Dom took her hand. "That's just fine. And I'm sure your mother would very much approve you not rushing into anything.

Kel's grin was lopsided. "My mother's opinion on the matter is that a woman's body belongs to herself and the Goddess, and that's the end of it. She once compared the desire of nobles to have their daughters remain virgins until marriage to that of horse breeders wanting to prevent mares from being mounted by the wrong stallions. She told me to enjoy my freedom and to bed anyone I wanted. So, no, I don't think Mama would think that."

Dom winced. "Horse breeders? That's…" he drew out the word, obviously trying to find a strong enough synonym for 'awful', "probably not wrong, as much as it pains me to admit it. I remember my parents arranging a marriage contract for my older sister, Valeria. Some of the adjectives thrown about could have been applied to horses. So, I suppose the question here is what do you want?"

Kel smiled up at him. As always, he understood her. "I want to be able to make my own choices. I don't want a man to come between me and the work I have to do, and I wouldn't want to get between him and his." She looked directly into his eyes at that. "I want to have fun, and take things slowly." She sighed, wondering if it was bad form to talk about a former sweetheart to… What was Dom, anyway? That was another thing they'd have to sort out. "Cleon was so focused on wanting to marry me, and trying to get out of his betrothal, that he never really asked me what I wanted from him."

Dom's look was gentle. "And what was that?"

She turned to stare into the fire. "Time. To figure out who I was, and what I wanted, time to do all the things I wanted with myself, to use the things I spent so many years learning. I didn't want it all to be a waste, and I don't think he would have ever seen that side of the coin." She sighed, softly. "I'm still figuring out this life I chose. I'm not giving that up, not for anything."

Dom's fingertips caught her chin, turned her back to look into his eyes. "I wouldn't ask you to."

She nodded. She wouldn't ask it of him either. She didn't want to marry any time soon, and she didn't even know if she would want to marry Dom. Maybe her feelings would fade, as they had with Neal and Cleon. "Can we keep quiet, about what's going on between us? I know people will figure things out, eventually, but I'd rather not be the center of too much gossip, if we can avoid it."

Dom nodded. "And I'd rather not have my men lining up to have a quiet word with me, if anyone could get a word in past Raoul. Quiet's just fine by me, Kel."

For a few minutes, they held hands in silence and stared into the flickering embers of the fire. She looked at him sidelong. "Dom?" she asked.

"Yes, Kel?"

"It's quiet now." With a grin, he pulled her close.

* * *

**A/N:** Two chapters in as many days? I'm spoiling you! I hope you guys enjoy this chapter. It was fun to write! I hope everyone came out in character. I thought a lot about how Kel treated Cleon, after she and Raoul had their little chat in Squire. I don't think she's changed that much, and I think she can see the difference between a crush and actual romantic love. If you've got any thoughts or comments, please leave me a note. If you've got p.m.s enabled, I will respond. I love hearing what you guys think!


	10. Chapter 10

The next few days passed too quickly for Kel. She spent her days fairly busy, even though Raoul kept reminding her that she'd once said he shouldn't work over Midwinter. She stuck her tongue out at him, not caring who saw. Her paperwork had to get done, and some small crisis was always popping that required her attention.

She had to go through the stores, to monitor the food and supplies they had, and make sure they were using them at an appropriate rate, one that would see them through to spring. She had to help Fanche mediate a dispute between two men who were fighting over space in the mess hall, of all things. She had to help Neal convince a heavily pregnant woman that she could, in fact, trade her shifts at guard duty for helping Yuki in the newly established camp school.

That last had been the hardest for Kel. She felt for the woman, and had she not been in her eighth month and struggling to navigate the stairs up to the walls, she would have told Neal to leave the woman be and that pregnancy was not a disease. In the end, that difficulty with stairs was how she had convinced Arema that her talents could be used elsewhere. If there was an attack, she wouldn't be able to move quickly enough to be of any use.

On top of all that, she had her weapons practice with the children in the mornings, her own training work, afternoons spent with the clerks and, though her orphans were now spending their afternoons with Yuki and the other camp children at lessons, she still sat with them before dinner, helping with their work.

She spoke to Loey, whose eyes lit up at the thought of joining the Riders. The young girl had several long talks with Buri about the work the riders did around the country, and came back to Kel even more determined. Living in the borderlands, she hated bandits, and hearing that she would get the chance to fight them had made the girl's eyes light up. After that, Kel had started helping her learn to ride. Buri had gotten involved too, happy to show off some of her trick riding to an already awestruck girl. Five other camp children, Loey's age or a year older, begged to join the lessons, so they could go south to the Riders; once they had permission from their parents, Kel let them.

Her evenings were also quite full. She would have dinner with her friends in the mess, then stop in at whatever refugee barrack was playing host to that evening's party, before they would retire to headquarters to talk and while away the long winter evenings. Usually, she worked on paperwork until someone, usually Raoul or Dom, scolded her. Then she would put aside her work for another day.

Buri taught her to play a K'Miri strategy game that was similar to chess, the one she'd been playing with Dom the night he'd forced Kel into having a conversation with him. Then, Yuki had pulled out some string and demanded Kel play with her. Irnai had snuggled into Kel's lap to watch as they played. Cat's cradle existed in Tortall and in the Islands, but the ways you moved the strings, and the patterns you produced, were different, so they'd spent some time demonstrating their version to Buri, who wanted to have a go at the version they played. That had led to a discussion of Tortallan versus Yamani versus K'Miri children's games.

Without discussing it, Kel and Dom were always the last to seek their beds. They certainly shared quite a few kisses, but they also talked, about growing up, little stories they'd never shared over the years they'd known each other.

Kel found herself laughing frequently. "And what did she do when she caught you?"

Dom raised an eyebrow. "She gave me a beating that was made even more memorable by the raging hangover that accompanied it." He sighed. "But I certainly never touched cook's supply of brandy ever again, so I suppose I learned my lesson that once."

They asked each other questions. "Do you know how you came to be scared of heights? Was it a gradual thing, or one incident?"

Kel frowned at the memory. "Have you ever met my brother Conal?"

Dom thought for a few minutes, and then nodded. "I remember him from maneuvers with the Own when I first joined." The face he made said what he thought of the man more than his words did.

"Yes, well, Conal has always been Conal. When I was little, before we left for the Islands, I used to love going to the top of one of the towers at Mindelan, and I'd annoyed him, somehow, so he dangled me over the balcony." She shivered at the memory. Dom looked slightly horrified. "He says he doesn't even remember doing it, but I remember my father being so mad he was nearly disowned. Anyway, my walk down Balor's Needle with Lalasa cured me of the worst of my fear, so at least I don't freeze up anymore, even if I'll never love being far off the ground."

She nudged Dom with her elbow, trying to displace his frown. It didn't work. "He dangled a baby over the edge of a balcony because she'd irritated him?"

"I was nearly four, not a baby. He just doesn't think about consequences to his actions." She shrugged. "We're not close, and we never will be."

Still, she hoped Conal didn't manage to run into the sergeant anytime soon.

Raoul didn't corner her, as she'd expected him to, but she found him watching her frequently. Apparently, whatever he saw satisfied him, or she knew he would have insisted she tell him what had been bothering her. She was glad he didn't ask; while she knew her friends would eventually figure out that something was going on between her and Dom, it was nice to just figure things out, without worrying about what other people thought or expected. It was good that she didn't have to worry that Raoul, a man she thought of as a second father, might be disappointed in her.

Before she thought it possible, the week of Midwinter was over, and her group of refugees needed to get back to their normal routines, as did Raoul. Bidding them goodbye was difficult, especially after Dom had pulled her into a hidden spot between the infirmary and the wall to give her a thorough kissing, but it was necessary. Spring would come soon enough, and with it the Scanrans.

Still, Kel kept busy. She didn't spend her time thinking of the blue-eyed sergeant. She knew that if she didn't want to be a noble wife, breeding heirs, this was the relationship they would have, with long separations imposed by their separate duties. She missed him, certainly, but she didn't mope.

That was how she found herself, a month and a half after midwinter, leading a squad of Merric's soldiers on one of the regular patrols when they picked up signs of Spidrens in the area. She was riding point when Nari and Arrow came streaking up to her, with the rest of their flock trailing behind them.

It took a few moments to figure out which immortals the sparrows were so worked up about, but once she knew, she rapidly hand signaled the rest of the patrol to halt and for the scouts to be brought in. Hoshi had picked up on her riders uneasiness and was shifting her weight from foot to foot while Kel waited for the scouts to return. At last, she had ten men gathered around her.

"We've got spidren sign," she whispered. "Hand signals only, and stay within sight of each other. I don't want to give these creatures a chance to breed in our area. Grestin, I want you to bring word back to New Hope, and let them know where we are." She saw nods all around. Everyone knew the damage spidrens could do. Without a word, the man she had indicated wheeled his horse around and headed back towards the camp. "We track them, determine their numbers. Don't engage unless we must, understood?" Again, nods all around.

The birds led them out, taking them down a narrow game track patrols normally didn't use, which made Kel want to curse. They were forced to travel in single file, and the mountainous terrain and the tree cover, not to mention the snow on the ground, prevented her from putting scouts out to their sides as she would like. At least she had the birds; they could go where men on horses wouldn't fit.

The woods around them were silent, in a way not explained by the hush a snow-covered forest normally had. It put her on edge, even with the sparrows out watching. The forest felt wrong without some kind of animal noise, and knowing that wrongness was due to the presence of Spidrens didn't make it any easier to cope with. Still on point, she heard the occasional jingle of a harness from those spread out behind her. They were strung out enough along the path that they wouldn't be forced to bunch up if they were attacked, but one person could still see the next along.

Kel's breath made little clouds as she rode, her ears alert for any sound and her eyes open for any flicker of motion. The terrain was not in their favor. The path was a very narrow track cut by game into the north wall of the valley of the Greenwoods River. To their left, it dropped away sharply towards the rushing river, and it climbed higher still on their right, a snarled mixture of leafless trees and evergreens, with only the odd stony outcropping to break the cover. Seeing anything in this mess was going to be difficult. Hopefully, the spidrens would be holed up for the day in whatever cave or clearing they'd found, and would come out to hunt at night, when their glowing webs would do them the most good. Still, twilight was fast approaching, and they could have risen already.

She felt thankful for the sparrows on a daily basis, but when they came swirling back towards her, right before one of the spider monsters appeared seemingly out of nowhere, she thanked every god she could think of, before leaping from Hoshi's back to face the first monster.

With the width of the track, she was on her own. None of the other men with her could get close enough to help her, though she was sure they would try. For now, she had to focus on the enemy in front of her. Shouts and the sounds of weapons being drawn let her know they had their own foes to face.

This spidren had a face that looked like a Scanran on top of the huge spider's body, and carried a broadsword in one of its forelegs and an axe in the other. With the length of its legs, the creature had about the same reach with those weapons as she did with her glaive. She parried, thrust, cut, blocked, allowing her body to fall into the patterns she'd beaten into herself over the years.

Her muscles remembered what they had to do before her brain could process the minute tics giving away the spidren's moves. Her glaive moved in a blur, blocking first axe, then sword, dipping in to cut at the creature's flanks, trying to find an opening, a gap in his defenses, something to allow her to end this fight. _There!_ She swept her blade inside his guard, catching his axe on the shaft of her glaive, her blade slicing through his sword arm and biting seep into his abdomen. With a twist, she pulled her glaive free, blood spraying across the snow already churned to a mess by their fight. Blood splashed across her face, burning like acid where it hit. The blond spidren shuddered, then collapsed.

She heard horns, in the distance and nearer to hand, as she scrubbed the burning blood from her eyes, then bit back a scream as something bit into her left arm. She forced herself backwards as she opened her eyes, to see another spidren practically on top of her. This one had darker coloration, and only carried a sword, but it had taken advantage of Kel's momentary blindness to slice deeply into her left bicep. Her hand went numb, and her bicep erupted in pain; gripping with that hand was impossible, though she could still shift the arm, if she ignored the white-hot pain.

She shifted her grip on the glaive so she could wield it one-handed. She might have switched to using her sword, but she still needed the reach her pole arm provided. Still, she managed to scramble back slightly, putting this new spidren right on top of his fallen comrade, with the terrible footing that implied. She used the staff of her glaive to swing her shield from her back to her front, shoving her mostly useless arm into the straps and tightening them so it didn't swing back around.

_Gods,_ she thought, _just when Tobe trusted me enough to let me out of his sight, I'm going to get myself killed._ The spidren thrust his sword at her, and she caught the edge of the blade on her shield, his blade taking a chunk out of the Mindelan owl. She sliced at one of its legs and scored a shallow hit.

Her head was starting to spin from blood-loss; she could feel the liquid dripping down her arm, and soon even holding her shield with her left arm was going to prove too much. She could hear the sounds of fighting around her, but she didn't have any time to look back and see what was going on with the others. They would have to take care of themselves as best as they could; her hands were full. She dipped within the spidren's guard and buried her blade at the point where one of his legs met his body.

The spidren shrieked and lunged backwards. She hadn't been ready for that, and the creature took her glaive with it. She cursed herself and the thing's ancestors as she drew her sword, sending a silent thanks to Alanna for gifting her with griffin.

Now, with her pole arm gone, she had to get closer to the creature, and the look of pure venomous hatred in his eyes was terrifying. Still, she pushed herself closer. She bit back a scream as she took another hit on her shield, the impact on her injury causing the edges of her vision to go white from pain.

She scored a hit, slicing a hit across one of the spidren's eyes. The creature shrieked in pain and anger, rearing on its hind legs to free its spinneret. Again, she lashed out with her sword tip, trying to slice into the sensitive flesh before it could spray web at her.

She needed to end this; a disturbing amount of blood was dripping down her arm, and she was getting dizzy from the blood-loss, but she couldn't get close enough to score a hit that meant anything. Why hadn't she thought to have everyone have bows out? If she'd not forgotten something so simple, she wouldn't be in this mess now!

She caught his sudden sword strike with her own blade, and followed with a furious exchange of strikes and blocks, both trying to get past the other's guard and failing. Suddenly, sparrows wheeled in around the spidrens face, forcing the thing further back, and then Kel gasped as sparrows were replaced by arrows. With a last shriek, the spidren collapsed.

It seemed that the only thing keeping Kel upright had been her driving need to stay alive, because as soon as the threat had been eliminated, she sank to one knee struggling to stay conscious. Her sword dropped from fingers that refused to grip, and the only reason she retained her shield was the long, leather guige still looped around her neck. She could hear voices, but the sounds of fighting had ceased. At least she didn't have to worry about that any longer. With a sigh, she let the blackness take her.

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**A/N:** I've edited the fight and am now happier with it. What do you think?


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N:** I went back and revised the fight at the end of the last chapter, and I think it reads a bit better. Have a look before you read this chapter!

* * *

Kel was warm. It felt nice to be something, after not feeling anything for a good bit of time. It was dark, though once she remembered how to open her eyes, the darkness was less.

She was in the infirmary at New Hope, it was night time and a candle was burning on a table not too far from her. The other beds were unoccupied, as far as she could tell by turning her head, but as soon as she stirred, a familiar blond head popped up at her bedside. She sighed, slightly. "Tobe, are you sleeping on the floor?"

"I'm not sleeping, milady, I'm keeping an eye on you." She patted a space on the bed and he hopped up. When she opened her arms to him, which took effort, he hugged her fiercely. "You scared Sir Neal."

His breath was warm on her neck, and she stroked his hair while she held him, even if her arm objected to the treatment. "I'm sure he'll be in to yell at me soon, then."

She felt the boy's nod. "And probably Lord Raoul, and Sergeant Dom."

She sank her head back on the pillow. "Maybe I'll leave the incident out of my next report, hmm?"

Tobe raised his head. "I doubt they'll be forgetting anytime soon, milady. Lord Raoul was cursing enough to choke hisself when they brung you in."

"Himself, Tobe, and brought," she corrected absently. "Wait, did you say when _they_ brought me in?"

Another nod. "Grestin found them afore… before he got back here with word about the spidrens, so they rode after you to be backup. Lord Raoul said you should know better than to go after spidrens without archers, and that he taught you better than that."

"I do know better than that. Our intention was only to track them to where they were holed up. Unfortunately, they didn't stick to that plan. How many were there?"

"Six." She looked up to see Neal in the doorway. Her friend looked tired, and irritated. "You were the only one seriously injured. One of Jacut's corporals got stabbed in the leg, and another man had his arm broken, but they were fairly easy to patch up and so they get to sleep in their own beds tonight. You're lucky Raoul's squad came on you when they did."

She sighed and sat up a bit, shifting Tobe and trying to suppress a wince at the pain in her arm. "What were they doing over our way?"

Neal pulled a chair up to her bedside, on the opposite side from where Tobe had appeared. "They'd just been through Mastiff, visiting with my former knight-mistress, and then they were on their way to New Giantkiller. They'd planned on spending the night here before heading there in the morning. Raoul decided to do this courier run in person, the gods know why."

"I'm sure he just needed to stretch his legs." Tobe wriggled out of her grasp. "Where are you off to, my lad?"

"I have to tell Lord Raoul you're up." She started to object, and he interrupted her. "I promised. Sergeant Dom said he wouldn't let me sleep here unless I promised to come and tell them if you woke up."

Kel sighed. "Fine then, feed me to the wolves, you traitor." She pulled him in with her good arm and kissed his forehead before shooing him away. "So, Neal, what did I manage to do that has you looking so serious?"

Her older friend tried to look stern, then failed and smiled slightly. "You lost a lot of blood, Kel, and cut one of the nerves in your arm. I'm guessing you couldn't grip with that hand." She nodded, and made a fist experimentally. Her hand seemed to be obeying her properly now. "I fixed it. You'll have to go a bit easy for a week or two, to get your energy back, but you should have no lasting damage. I also managed to fix the burns from spidren blood, which would have left a very attractive scar, I'm sure."

"You look tired, Neal." His hair was mussed, showing multiple passes from his fingers, and dark shadows lingered under green eyes that didn't contain their normal mischievous glint.

"Fixing nerves is difficult. I… I almost didn't manage it, Kel." When his eyes met hers, he looked almost anguished.

She gripped his hand with the one she'd injured. "You managed, Neal. And if you hadn't, I wouldn't have blamed you. You're a healer, not a god."

He nodded, his free hand coming to wrap around their joined hands. He kept his eyes locked on their hands, as if searching for an answer there. "I almost fell apart, Kel, seeing you injured like that. It wasn't like in Scanra, when I knew what was going on, that you were in danger. I was just going through our stock of herbs with Thelma when the door slammed open, and Raoul hauled you in. I hadn't even known you were out on patrol. I thought you were dead, you looked so white, and I just… I froze, Kel." He took a deep, shuddering breath. "You were on my table, and I just… Dom punched me. He called me ten types of fool and told me he'd kill me himself if I didn't snap out of it. Luckily, Thelma is good with stopping bleeding or…" His grip on her hand tightened. "You would have died because I looked at you, and I saw my sister, not a patient."

She wrapped her free arm around his shoulders and hugged him tight, and then pulled away and made him look her in the eye. Now she noticed that the shadow under his eyes was darker on one side. She brushed a thumb over the black eye. "You could have had someone see to that, you know."

Neal shrugged, brushing her hand away from his cheek. "It wasn't important."

"And he knows he would have gotten another one if he had. Good to see you among the living, Protector."

She looked to the doorway, recognized the silhouetted shape of Dom, with Raoul and Yuki behind him. She smiled at the three of them. "I must say, I'm glad you lads turned up when you did. I was really not looking forward to finishing off that second spidren."

Raoul harrumphed. "You managed to ignore me bellowing at you to fall back, or my archers would have had him a bit sooner."

"I'm sorry. I suppose I was a bit focused on the task at hand, as it were." She smiled at her former knight-master, who hauled another chair to her bedside, pushing away Tobe's blankets with a foot. With one last squeeze, she slipped her hand from between Neal's. Yuki came to stand beside her betrothed, resting one hand on his shoulder. Kel nodded at her Yamani friend. "Good evening, Yukimi. I am sorry if I disrupted your day through my carelessness."

Yuki whipped open her fan and hid a smile behind it, before responding in Yamani. "I did not mind the disruption. Seeing how your sergeant worried for you was reward enough, once I knew you would recover. However, the next time he decides to strike my betrothed, not even being worried for you will save him."

Kel fought back a laugh. _Well, one person knows, at least_. Raoul was frowning at her. "I should have paid more attention to the lessons you gave me in Yamani when you were my squire, Kel, but all I know is that she didn't welcome your esteemed imperial highness or comment on the beautiful quality of the moonlight."

Kel rolled her eyes. "You were quite hopeless with the language, sir." She pushed herself up a bit more, but it was difficult. "Neal said you lot were on your way here from Mastiff. Any news to pass on?"

The look he gave her spoke volumes. "Nothing urgent. General reports. The border is quiet. So, Lady Knight, what made you decide to tackle two spidrens on your own, with no archers out? I taught you better than that."

She managed a weak grin. "Tobe told me you'd said that. And, yes, sir, you did. We'd only intended to track the creatures, but they decided to have some fun with us. That path was too narrow to have scouts out, and the birds brought warning too late. Before I could even string my bow, they were on us."

Raoul's snort let her know what he thought of that. Neal swayed next to her, cutting off Raoul's response, and Yuki gripped his shoulder harder, so he wouldn't fall over, before announcing, "Neal, bed. I will not carry you if you collapse where you sit, and I doubt either Sergeant Domitan or Lord Raoul will volunteer for such a duty."

Neal looked wistfully at Kel, then nodded. "There's a tea for you to drink." He glanced to Raoul, then Dom. "Could one of you get that for her? It's on my desk, and needs to steep in hot water- not boiling- for ten minutes." Kel made a face. "If you don't agree to drink it, I will stay up until I pass out on you, and then you'll have Yuki to deal with."

The eye roll Yuki directed at him was decidedly un-Yamani, but Kel waved them away to their beds, before looking at the remaining men. "You two don't need to sit with me, you know."

Raoul stretched, which on a man as big as he was, was impressive. "I suppose I can finish yelling at you in the morning. Dom, you'll make sure she chokes down whatever horrid tea Sir Nealan had prescribed?" The sergeant nodded, ignoring Kel's muttered 'traitor'. "Good night then."

As soon as he was gone, she looked to Dom, who had taken Neal's vacated chair. "You're not really going to make me drink one of his vile teas, are you?"

Dom leaned in and brushed his lips against hers. "Of course I am. Slide over, would you?"

Obligingly, she made room for him on the bed, and he slid in next to her, his arms going around her shoulders. She tucked herself under his chin. "This is cozy," she sighed. He made a pleased noise in response, and for a few long, lovely minutes, she let him hold her. "You didn't have to punch Neal."

Dom tilted her chin so she was looking at him. "I really did, Kel. And I've blacked his eye for much more trivial things than nearly letting his best friend die, so don't think he expected any less from me." He stroked her hair for a moment before kissing her forehead. "At least I learned I can keep my head when you're injured, or fighting."

She snuggled into his comforting warmth, ignoring the pain in her arm. "Did you think you wouldn't be able to?"

She felt his shrug. "Some people can't. They see the person they care for in danger, and they forget that charging in will probably get the both of you killed, perhaps along with some of the men under your command. I was fairly sure I could handle it, but it is good to know. I did get angry with my cousin when he fell apart. I was angry that he could be so selfish, thinking that he had the luxury of that time, when it could have killed you"

She bit back a yawn. "Still, punching him in the face seems a bit extreme." Her last word was swallowed by the yawn she'd tried to suppress.

Dom leaned in and kissed the tip of her nose before claiming her lips briefly. "You're very cute when you yawn, Lady Knight." She ignored his silliness. "I'll get you your tea, then it's time for sleep."

He ignored her protests and slipped out of bed. When he returned, he was holding a steaming mug that smelled less than pleasant. She made a face, and he laughed at her, and then set it on his chair to steep and slipped back into her bed. She settled happily back in his arms with a sigh. "Yuki has us figured out, you know."

She felt his lips brush her hair. "Hmm. Is that why she was looking at me from behind her fan all evening?"

Kel felt a giggle slip out of her lips. "Was she?" Dom nodded. "Probably. She has such a wicked sense of humor. She'll probably yell at me for not telling her sooner."

"Ah, well. I suppose the cat's out of the bag then. She'll tell Neal, and he'll tell… everyone." Dom sounded almost cheerful at the prospect.

"She won't tell Neal if I ask her not to. I'll probably have to get her to swear on her ancestors, but she won't tell. Not until they're actually married, anyway. The Yamani consider spouses to be one person, so to tell the wife is to tell the husband, and vice versa." Kel glanced up at him through her lashes. "I still think quiet is nice; no one expects anything of me, and I can just enjoy this, with no one judging me."

Half of Dom's mouth quirked up in a grin, and she leaned in for a quick kiss. "I need to keep an eye out for that look. I think you could get me to agree to anything when you look at me like that."

She was confused. "Like what?"

He waved a hand in her direction. "Batting your lashes at me, making the gold in your eyes sparkle like that. I'd fetch the moon from the sky if you asked for it and looked at me like that."

She laughed and blinked a few times experimentally. "Pour out that tea, won't you?"

He laughed and tweaked her nose. "No." They sat for a few minutes in comfortable silence before Dom handed her the tea and arched an eyebrow at her.

With a sigh, she downed it as quickly as she was able. "Blech," she groaned. "I think Neal put his old boots in that." She yawned, widely. "And about a quart of valerian root." She yawned again. "Don't you need to get back to your bed?"

He ran his fingers through her hair, which she found ridiculously soothing. "Not just yet, sweet. You sleep. Don't mind me." Her eyes slid shut, and she enjoyed the sensation of his touch until she drifted off.

She felt better in the morning. Her arm ached less, and she was happy when Neal let her up, though he warned she'd be tiring easily for a week or two while her body replenished the blood she'd lost, as well as the energy reserves he'd had to tap into to heal her.

Raoul spent a good fifteen minutes chewing her out for managing to stumble into the spidrens. He did it quietly, in her office, so there were no witnesses, and she felt she deserved worse. She'd been stupid, depending on her animals to scout for her. They were good, certainly, but they weren't infallible, and she could have paid a higher price for that lesson. Finally, he sighed. "At ease, Kel. In fact, sit down." She did so, neatening a stack of papers on her desk that didn't need it. "I don't like lecturing from this side of a desk, it's curst unsettling." She managed a tight smile. "You're green, Kel, for all the work you've done this past year, and green knights make mistakes. You've done an excellent job with your refugees, but you need experience commanding troops, or all this potential I see in you is going to be wasted." He raked a hand through his dark curls. "I make no promises, but I will see what I can do. You need new challenges, or you're going to get complacent."

It was a challenge to keep her face still, but she managed. She'd rather face ten spidrens than another moment of Raoul being disappointed with her. "Sir, it won't happen again."

His smile surprised her. "Oh, it will. It happens to us all, Kel, as much as we'd like to pretend it doesn't. I've got a knee that aches in the cold to remind me of the price of complacency. I'm more angry with myself than I am with you."

"Sir?"

"You've had your own command for nearly a year, and you haven't had anyone above you to remind you of these important truths from time to time. You're an excellent commander, far too good for someone your age, and I think it's caused the rest of us to forget that you are so young and that there are certain basic lessons you are still learning. So," he paused, "I will see what I can do about getting you some other experiences, though I can't promise anything."

The prospect of a few weeks, even a month or two, away from her refugee camp was a welcome one, though she still had no idea of who would be suitable to command here in her absence. She pushed her hopes to one side. "Tea, my lord?"

Raoul rolled his eyes as she pulled out bowls and green tea, but acquiesced to her request, even though he didn't particularly like the drink. Still, his humoring her made her feel, more than his words, that she was forgiven.

Raoul and Dom's squad stayed until the next morning. Kel had stayed up with Dom, playing chess in his room until they'd gotten distracted by each other. Dom had kissed her passionately, making her realize that, for all his calm words, he'd been worried, seeing her so injured. He'd even repeated a few of the same things Raoul had told her, about carelessness, and showed her a scar on his shoulder that showed a mistake of his own.

Eventually, Tobe had come to fetch her to bed, and they'd leapt apart at his perfunctory knock, probably looking quite guilty when he stuck his head through the door. The young lad didn't say anything, but Kel thought that might be another person who knew their secret.

Neal's prediction about her needing rest proved irritatingly correct. The next two weeks found her tiring easily, and Neal forbid her from exercising that first week, after he had to be called out to the practice yard that first morning when she'd collapsed after a simple pattern dance with Yuki. The second week, she still had to cut her sessions because she was simply too weak to handle her normal pace. Still, she got a considerable amount of her paperwork done, and felt much better for it.

She felt like she was finding places for her orphans at last. Loey badgered anyone and everyone she could for riding lessons. Merric and Neal were more than happy to help when Kel was too tired to manage it. Dortie and Rena, both twelve, had taken to weaving when Mistresses Alma and Farelle started working with the children once a week at Yuki's schol. Both girls were spending two extra mornings during the week helping the two women and learning the basics of the weaving trade. Keon was happy with the carpenters, and the master carpenter, Rissan Faraksra, thought the lad had a hand for the trade. Barrabul had not been happy with woodworking, but he'd approached Kel and asked about being sent out with the hunters and trappers. Kel had agreed, and Saefas, who lead the camp's hunters had agreed to take him on at a trial basis.

That was a huge weight off her mind. She still had Rhyl and Peytar, the seven and eight year old boys, to think about, as well as Irnai, but she had some time there. Two weeks after her injury, she finally started feeling like herself again. The first day she actually beat Yuki with her glaive, she grinned, and didn't stop grinning for most of the day.

The snows stopped coming with any regularity, though they had yet to see any particular signs of melt when she ran into Dom again, this time at Mastiff, in the second week of March. She'd come to drop off reports, as had he. She wound up spending most of the afternoon in the training yard with Alanna, practicing their sword work.

That was where she noticed the blue-eyed sergeant, when she was bent over and panting after a bout with the woman she'd idolized for most of her life. He waved at her, used the Own's hand signals to tell her she was crazy and settled in to watch. She sketched him a quick salute before turning back to Alanna.

She circled the short woman slowly, keeping the point of her sword low. She'd practiced with her sword more today than she had in a year or more, and it showed. After their first bout with swords, Alanna had chastised her soundly for neglecting her griffin. Kel had had to agree.

Still, after their third bout, she was feeling better with the weapon, though she was still wary of the violet-eyed woman before her. She hoped the fourth bout would have a better ending than the first three.

She put thoughts of Dom to the side and focused on her opponent. Kel was tired, but so was Alanna. They both moved slowly, feinting with the tips of their blades, each trying to get the other to attack. Kel waited; Alanna had tricked her this way twice already. She wouldn't be had a third time. She had patience, and she thought Alanna was eating through what little she possessed.

Finally, Alanna attacked, her blade a blur as she lunged towards Kel. Kel blocked, and they exchanged a quick flurry of strikes, the metal of their connecting swords ringing through Mastiff's practice yard. Low, high, low again. Kel met Alanna's blade with her own, trying to find some weakness in the woman's defense.

Sweat dripped down her cheeks, kept out of her eyes by the griffin feather band around her forehead, and her breath burned in her lungs. She felt her focus narrow, to the point where all that existed in the world was her and her opponent, her blade simply an extension of her arm, as she'd learned as a child. They came together, blades locking, and she had the advantage, with her height and strength against Alanna's, but some part of her refused to win that way. In a real fight, she would have taken any chance she had, but she knew this was practice, and she wanted to win based on skill, not size.

Alanna seemed to know exactly what she was thinking as Kel let her dance away. She grinned and said. "You could have had me there, long-shanks."

Kel nodded, not taking her eyes off the Lioness. "Ask me later if I regret letting you go."

The older woman grinned and attacked again. She moved faster, any pauses between her strikes gone, and it was all Kel could do to get her sword up in time to block, but then she saw a moment of hesitation when Alanna attacked Kel's left side. Perhaps the Lioness was recovering from a strained muscle. It wasn't much, but Kel thought it was enough.

She kept blocking, stepping backward to allow Alanna to attack, turning slightly to encourage an attack from her weak side. When the opportunity came, Kel took it. She whipped her blade around Alanna's and twisted, a move she'd learned from Cleon when she was still a page, normally employed against a person with a dagger, but with Kel's added height and strength, it worked against Alanna.

The Lioness's sword went clattering across the yard, and cheers erupted from the crowd of onlookers. Kel grinned and Alanna laughed. "Try that in a week and it won't work, youngster."

Kel saluted. "I know, my lady. If we'd not had three bouts already, I doubt it would have worked, even with you nursing an injury."

Alanna snorted. "Yes, well, I'll tell my pride that." She reached up and clapped Kel on the shoulder. "And, to borrow a phrase from my husband, don't call me 'my lady', I work for my living."

Kel's smile was shy, but hopeful. "Of course, Alanna." Perhaps she and the only other Lady Knight in the realm might actually be friends, which was a strange concept. She'd practically thought of the woman as a god, or at least a hero out of legend, since the first time she'd heard the name 'Lioness'. They clasped forearms and Kel went to drop a bucket of cold water over her head. For all that there was still snow on the ground, she was drenched in sweat.

Dom found her while she was still dripping and laughed at her, before glancing around and stealing a kiss. "You won me a gold noble off one of Alanna's sergeants."

Kel snorted. "While I appreciate your confidence, I wouldn't bet on me against Alanna too frequently if you'd like to have any money left."

Dom nudged her shoulder with his. "Please, I can stand to lose a bit, and I could never bet against you. Besides, you won Third Company so much money on the grand progress I would have to find stakes much higher than we lowly soldiers are willing to risk on a training bout to lose it all."

She nudged him right back. "You're degenerate gamblers, the lot of you. Still, it was a good match."

Dom nodded. "I think Alanna will be annoyed you didn't try your hardest when the two of you came body to body. She'll try and punish you for that the next time you face her."

Kel shrugged one shoulder. "I didn't want to win like that, and I think she of all people could understand that. What are you lads doing here?"

"Reporting." He rolled his eyes. "We're heading back to Steadfast in the morning."

She nodded. "The same."

He brushed his fingers across her cheek. "You seem much better." His hand stilled, his palm cupping her cheek.

She brushed his hand away. "Someone might see. And I am better, or your cousin would have refused to let me out of his sight."

Dom smiled. "No Tobe, either? I never see you without your shadow."

Kel laughed. "He decided that I must have learned from my injury, and that if I couldn't manage on my own for one night, I wasn't worth the bother." Dom leaned in to kiss her again, but she pushed him away. "I'm filthy, Dom. I'm going to go and find some hot water to wash in and get changed. I'll see you at dinner?"

He sighed, but waved her away without further protest. She did see him at dinner, feeling much better for having washed, and wound up talking away a good portion of the evening with him and his squad. She'd sighed wistfully when she'd left them to go to bed; her efforts of the day had taken their toll, and she was exhausted.

Dom sneaking into her room after she'd changed into her night things had been a surprise, but not an unwelcome one. She'd kissed him soundly, with a passion he'd happily returned, before she pulled away with a sigh. "I really am tired, Dom."

He tucked a piece of her hair behind an ear, then kicked off his boots. "Into bed then." She looked at him skeptically. "I've missed you, and I want to cuddle. Would it be such a trial to fall asleep in my arms?"

She laughed and leaned in for another kiss. "No. You've got a very comfortable chest, if I remember correctly from the infirmary." She pulled back the blankets carefully and crawled into bed, leaving space for him. "Mind the sparrows." Nari and Arrow, along with three of their flock mates, had bedded down around her pillows.

He slid in next to her and wrapped his arms around her with a happy sigh. She felt his lips against her hair after he blew out the candle. "Sleep well, Lady Knight."

He was gone when she woke, her arms around Jump instead. She smiled and petted her dog, then opened the window so the five sparrows with her could get out. Without thought, she went through the routine of her practice dance and strengthening exercises.

Alanna saw them off with a smile, joking with Kel that next time she should bring Yuki's glaive so that Kel could teach her a bit more. Kel had said she would look forward to it, and led her patrol out.

When she'd returned to New Hope, she'd had to deal with Neal. It had taken her some time to work out what, exactly, was wrong with her best friend, but she learned pretty quickly that it had something to do with his betrothed. Yuki wouldn't speak about it, but had insisted on practicing glaive and then shukusen with Kel.

The next morning, she called both of them into her office. They'd refused to look at each other while Kel silently made green tea. She'd waited patiently, watching both of them over the rim of her bowl as she sipped her tea slowly. Finally, Neal erupted. "Tell her she has to go south before the fighting heats up."

Kel blinked in surprise. She opened her mouth to reply, not that she knew what she would say, but Yuki cut her off, speaking rapidly in Yamani. "I am not a dog to be sent, Keladry of Mindelan, and I refuse to simply do as I am bid without any reason. You know that I can protect myself, better than many women here, and there is no reason for me to leave when I can be of use here."

Kel sighed and rubbed her temple. "I refuse to mediate if you won't speak to each other, Yukimi noh Diaomoru. If you would like to speak to me privately, that is one thing, but if you are both present, we will speak Common." Twin red spots flared in her friend's cheeks, but after a long beat, the Yamani bowed her head in submission. "Good. Now, Yuki, I gather Neal wants you to go south before the fighting starts up again, and you have objections. Is this correct?" She nodded. "Neal, what is your reasoning?"

Her best friend glared at his betrothed. "Yuki needs to return to Corus. She is in danger here, and it serves no purpose. She is not a soldier, and we are not going to be facing bandits raiding this summer, we're facing armies!"

"I am not some idiotic Tortallan noblewoman to hide behind the walls of my husband's fief. I am a Yamani noblewoman, and I can defend myself and those under my care. We follow our husbands, we do not wait in our towers, sighing over handkerchiefs!" Yuki was shouting. It actually took Kel a few seconds to wrap her head around the fact that her friend was actually shouting. She didn't think she'd ever heard a Yamani shout. Even when gutting bandits, Yamani ladies kept their tone cool and polite. What in the world had Neal done to Yuki?

Neal jumped up and started pacing. "Do you see what insanity I'm dealing with, Kel? She refuses to see any kind of reason! She…"

Kel raised a hand, cutting Neal off. "Leave us, please."

Neal sputtered. "What? Why should I leave? I have every right to be a party to this discussion, and I refuse to be sent from your presence like a misbehaving child being sent to bed without supper. I won't have it!"

Again, she raised her hand. "As your commanding officer, I order you to leave."

Neal gaped at her, then at Yuki, then threw up both his hands and stormed from the room. Yuki pulled out her fan, and hid most of her face behind it. Kel pushed it down and forced her friend to look her in the eye. "You are becoming more Tortallan than I am, Yuki. I'd never expected such an outburst from you." She spoke in Yamani, hoping to make her friend relax, slightly.

Yuki bowed, deeply, her head nearly touching her knees. "I am shamed by my actions, Keladry. I cannot ask for forgiveness for such a shameful display."

Kel sighed. "Yuki, there is no shame. I have known Neal for a long time, and I, of all people, know that he could anger a stone. Now, can you tell me what the problem is?"

Yuki sipped her tea, obviously stalling for time. Finally, she said, "He wants me to return south before the fighting starts again, so that I will be safe. He refuses to listen to reason, even though he knows I am perfectly capable of protecting myself if need be. Not to mention that I am unlikely to face danger _here_."

Kel forced herself not to think of the ruin of Haven, her people dead and captured. She wondered if that had been on Neal's mind as well. "Neal is not wrong, Yuki. This camp is full of civilians, but that does not mean it is safe. You know what happened last summer." Yuki refused to meet her eyes. "We are soldiers, Yukimi, knights. Our job is to fight, and this must be our focus. You have to discuss this with your betrothed, but if he feels you would be a distraction to him, you would be duty bound to leave."

Now Yuki looked at her, anger flashing in her eyes. "I refuse to leave him. He is practically my husband, and I will not leave because he refuses to see me for who I am."

Kel suppressed a sigh. "Are you sure you are seeing him for who he is, Yuki? Neal loves you, with all his heart, but Neal is not at his most effective when he is in love. He will worry for you, and that will take his focus from where it needs to be, on the work at hand. What if we are transferred to a different command? You would be here, in a refugee camp that is not as well defended as any other border encampment, and Neal would be worried for you, as well as missing you. He would be distracted, and distraction is death for a soldier; you know that as well as I."

Yuki shook her head, trying to deny what she knew to be true. "He is practically my husband. I should not need to be separated from him."

Kel reached out across her desk and gripped her friend's hand. "In this case, Yukimi noh Diaomoru, the fact that he is not yet your husband is important. He could not bring you with him if he were posted somewhere else, and he needs to know you are safe. You must discuss these things with him, and decide what you will do."

Yuki sighed. "I need time."

Kel smiled. "Reflect as though you have all of time, even when time is short."

Yuki smiled slightly, then rose. "I will speak with Neal."

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**A/N: **This chapter kind of got out of hand in terms of length. Just over 6k words! Sheesh! Still, I'm pleased with it,and ended where I wanted to. Now, I have a question for you guys. Not next chapter, but the one after that, I have a scene that would necessitate changing the rating to M. I'm currently leaning towards publishing that chapter as a separate one shot, and basically just skipping it, so I can keep my rating as 'T'. I don't particularly want to edit it down to a T, but I'd like to hear your opinions. If that's what you want, I'll do it, and probably still post a one shot of the unedited version. I would need someone's help to edit it down to a T, as I've tried, and struggled to do that, so if that's the consensus, I'd ask for a beta. Anyway, looking forward to hearing your thoughts, both on what you just read and this monstrously long author's note!


	12. Chapter 12

Three days later, Yuki left for the coast. With her went Loey and the other five children who wanted to go to the Queen's Riders. The good bye had been tearful, on most parts. Kel had hugged Loey fiercely and whispered in her ear that she had better look after herself or there would be trouble, then pushed her to her horse, hoping Loey didn't see her full eyes. All of her orphans had cried a bit, though they'd been happy for their friend, and everyone wished all six children the best of luck.

Neal and one of the squads of soldiers had escorted their group as far as Steadfast, where they would meet Buri and two groups of Riders, then head to Frasrlund and take ship for Corus. When Neal had returned four days later, Kel had taken one look at him and dragged him to the practice yards.

For two hours, they fought with swords, then hand to hand and finally with spears, just for completeness. It reminded her of her page days, and kept Neal distracted. Then, once they'd both cleaned up, Neal had followed her to her office and started reading, and lecturing, to her from a book on tactics written by his famous grandfather. She'd let him, even though she'd read the book numerous times. It was obvious he needed the distraction.

Headquarters had felt odd, without Loey. Keon had taken to sleeping amongst the woodworkers, and most nights Rena and Dortie stayed with the weavers. Even Barrabul was with the trappers six nights out of seven. With Loey gone as well, the once crowded building felt startlingly empty.

When orders had come in to report to Steadfast, a week after Neal had returned from there, she'd been glad. Neal had been moping pretty constantly in the week since he'd been back, and even her best efforts were failing to pull him out of his misery. Merric had given up after dinner that first night, wishing Kel luck and finding somewhere else to be whenever he found himself near Neal.

Still, leaving New Hope did some good. She'd gotten Merric to move into her headquarters while they were gone, to keep an eye on Peytar, Rhyl and Irnai. Tobe came with her. Fanche had offered to take in Peytar and Rhyl, but Irnai made the refugees uncomfortable, as any great mage did. Kel had thanked Fanche for her offer, then told Merric to shift his things.

They rode out early in the morning, with a squad of New Hope's soldiers. Kel worried about that, as she didn't know if her camp would need the men while she was gone. There was still snow on the ground, but it was spring, and the fighting would start soon. In the end, Merric had given her a very long look and she'd led the soldiers out of her camp with a sigh. By early afternoon, they'd arrived at Mastiff. Alanna had taken one look at her former squire, threatened to dose him and then dragged him into the practice yard.

It was interesting to see Alanna and Neal practice sword work together. They obviously knew each other's style so well, it was if they were practicing against themselves. Alanna chastised Neal for falling back into his habit of shifting left before attacking right, and he reminded her that once in a while, she should not follow a high feint with a low strike from the left. She'd rewarded that comment by disarming him.

Neal had been a fair hand with a sword during their page years, mostly because he'd had several more years with the weapon than his younger counterparts. Studying under Alanna for four years had taught him quite a bit, though Kel could usually beat him if she concentrated. Neal had never cared enough about weapons to be truly excellent, and it didn't particularly bother him; he'd become a knight due to a feeling of familial duty, not true desire. It had always baffled Kel slightly, but it was what it was.

Kel was surprised when Alanna revealed a practice glaive. The lady knight had mentioned her desire to learn the weapon when Yuki had passed through, and Yuki had said she could get a new practice glaive when she got back to Corus, so Alanna had accepted the training weapon happily. Now, she demanded that Kel show he a bit more with the weapon. At Raoul's wedding, she'd shown Alanna some basic sweeping cuts and blocks, but without a weapon to practice with, Alanna hadn't been able to keep up with the moves.

Kel taught her three pattern dances that afternoon, ones she could do on her own, as well as one that was done with a partner. The moves were simple, and overlapped between the four sets, but learning them in different sequences kept you from falling into the trap of always following one move with the next from the sequence. Alanna was entertaining to teach. She had no patience for her own mistakes, and seemed to want to be at the same level as she was with her sword as soon as she picked up the pole arm. Kel laughed, shook her head and fixed Alanna's grip.

They left Mastiff early the next morning, hoping to make Steadfast by mid-afternoon. It was colder than it had been in a week or two, a grey and blustery day. Tobe was huddled in his coat on Charm's back, being much quieter than normal. Kel called a halt well before the sun had hit its zenith and got one of the soldiers to build a small fire. They needed a hot drink. While tea was brewing, she dug through Tobe's saddle bags and pulled out a second woolen shirt. With a sigh, the lad put the layer on.

Shortly after they'd set out again, one of the scouts came riding in and Kel signaled a halt. "What is it, Marran?" she asked, hoping for anything but trouble.

Of course she was wrong. "I think we've got signs of unicorns, my lady." The man was frowning, and Kel could understand why. Unicorns could be peaceful, or not, and there was no way to tell by their tracks which it was.

Kel glanced at Neal, who was looking at her for a decision. "Everyone carrying bows, I want them strung." She wasn't going to make the same mistake she'd made with the spidrens. "I don't know of any peaceful unicorn herds in these parts, but they could be new arrivals. Let's proceed with caution." Kel hoped they were simply new enough to the area that none of Mastiff's patrols had seen them yet, but she didn't think her luck was that good.

Bow strings were unwrapped and bows were strung before their group rode out. When Marran pointed out what he'd seen to Kel and Jacut, she sighed and glanced at the sergeant who nodded. The tracks definitely belonged to unicorns, a herd of perhaps ten of the things. Whether they would be friendly or not remained to be seen.

Kel flexed her hands in frustration. She wanted to head straight for Steadfast, but it was their duty to investigate any signs of immortals they came across. After her mishap with the spidrens, part of her wanted to prove that she wouldn't make the same mistakes too frequently, wanted to give Raoul a reason to be proud of her. There was no thought of shirking their duty.

This time, at least, the ground they tracked immortals over was better. There was still snow on the higher ground, but the path they followed snaked along valley floors and was mostly clear of snow. The mud was fairly miserable, but it made tracking easier, and the path was wide enough for them to ride two abreast, and the trees thin enough for her to have scouts out.

They ate lunch in the saddle, dried meat, bread and hard cheese, and Kel wished for more tea. The wind was constant and bitter. Jump huddled down in his basket on Peachblossom's rump, along with several of the dozen sparrows that had elected to accompany Kel to Steadfast. Those that were scouting for her didn't go far; fighting against the wind tired them quickly.

An hour after noon, they came across the first sign that the unicorns were not the shy, harmless kind. Three does and a fawn lay dead, gored and trampled, in a small clearing. Jacut examined the bodies before looking to Kel. "No more than a few hours dead, my lady. There's still some warmth to the beasts."

Her mouth set in a frown. Killer unicorns were a problem. Not only did they kill animals and humans indiscriminately, but they were carriers for unicorn fever, which could be deadly, especially among the old, young and infirm. It was not something you wanted spreading amongst wounded soldiers, or a camp of refugees. Their bite was made worse by their poisonous saliva, which caused a slow and painful death to any it touched.

She signaled her group to move out. They alternated between a brisk trot and walking, trying to preserve the energy of the big war horses she and Neal rode. For the first time in her career as a knight, she actually wished she had a lance; against a unicorn, it would actually be quite useful. Still, half the group had bows, herself included. They would make do.

With the spring equinox nearly upon them, the short days of the winter were at an end, though the light was still fading when her forward scouts fell back to join the group. They'd spotted five unicorns. They'd gotten close enough to see the red eyes and sharp teeth the flesh-eating ones did not share with their docile cousins. Kel's orders were brisk. "We need to find a better place for an ambush." She pulled out her roll of maps and spread them out on the saddle of Jacut's horse. She would have used Peachblossom's, but her gelding was far too testy to have that many people crowding him. She, Neal, Jacut and his two corporals looked over the map she'd pulled to the front.

It showed the border lands between Mastiff and Steadfast, marked out in fairly decent detail. Neither she nor Jacut's squad knew this area that well, as they never patrolled here, and they didn't know, off hand, where a good place to back the unicorns into might be. They weren't on the main road between the two forts, but a bit south, closer to Steadfast than Mastiff, and they were fairly close to a river that ran down into the Vassa. She pointed to it. "If we can drive them to here, and get them surrounded, we'll have a better chance of finishing them off with no escapes."

Neal nodded, indicating a bend in the river. "We could work with this, a narrower spot to back them into."

Kel nodded, as did Jacut. "Very well," she announced. "We'll break up into three groups and wedge them towards the river."

The men around her nodded, and then she divided the thirteen of them. She got one of Jacut's corporals, Tobe and two of the soldiers, Grestin and Marran. She'd made sure two in each group had bows, and in her group that was her and the corporal, Hamar. Tobe, Marran and Grestin carried spears. She assigned her group the left flank, put Neal in the center and gave the right to Jacut. With terse nods, they fanned out into the woods.

The good thing about being in the trees was that the wind was cut dramatically, so her sparrows could fan out with them. Another good thing was that two of the men of Jacut's squad had a decent amount of experience as beaters during hunts.

The drive was slow, with the light fading in the mountainous terrain. They alternated between walking in front of their horses and riding at a slow walk. It was difficult to quash the urge to just charge into the immortals and have at them, but they managed it. It was full dark when they finally heard the noise of the river ahead. The sparrows had retreated to roost on her saddle bags some time before, being near blind in the darkness. She was thankful for the light of the waxing moon.

She heard the low whistle that was Jacut's signal; his group had reached the river. Neal's response came two beats later, and then she made her own. With a quick thought to Mithros and the Goddess, she dismounted, to better use her bow, and moved her group forward.

Her first arrow took a large unicorn in the flank, dropping it as it pierced the lung and heart. Arrows flashed in the moonlight, as did unicorn horns. Eight of the things had been caught in their net. The immortals erupted into motion, charging outwards. She took another with a second arrow, then whirled when she heard a terrified whinny.

Tobe's Charm was rearing, her hooves flashing at a white blur, another unicorn, and her charge was flying through the air, landing hard on his back. She heard herself shouting his name, and then she was near flying through the air herself, shouting for the others in her group to hold position.

Her first arrow buried itself in this unicorn's shoulder, as its silver hooves flashed above Tobe's limp form. With a wordless scream, she pulled her sword from its sheath, not having the time to pull another arrow from the quiver at her back.

She threw herself between Tobe and the beast, parrying a horn strike with her sword. She felt the horn slice the outside of her thigh and ignored it; she had more important things to focus on. Her first thrust cut deeply into its neck, blood turning its shining white pelt black in the moonlight. She could see dark blood in the froth of its mouth, silver teeth glinting as it screamed at her. That sound, one that should never have come from a horse, froze her blood in her veins.

She felt more than saw Tobe shift slightly behind her and a knot in her chest loosened slightly. She needed to finish this so that Neal could have a look him. With a grimace, she charged forward.

Grestin later described her charge like something out of a ballad, lacking only trumpets blaring as she flowed through the sequence of thrusts and parries, driving the unicorn backwards before finally coming up as it reared, slitting its belly open and being soaked in a rain of blood, a shining spray of blackness in the moonlight.

It didn't feel like that to Kel, and when she stood there, dripping, the dead unicorn laid out at her feet, she felt ill. The stupid beast had been following its nature, and she couldn't hate it for that. It had, however, hurt Tobe, and that had filled her veins with a white hot anger that had driven her forward so mindlessly she struggled to remember exactly what had brought her to this point, drenched in unicorn blood in the light of an almost full spring moon.

Tobe's crying brought her back to the moment, and she turned to him, taking the few steps back and crouching down. She reached out to brush his face with her fingers, saw the filth she was covered in, and thought better of it. "What hurts?" she demanded.

He took a deep breath in, struggling to get his shaking under control. "My… I think my leg's broke. And I hit my head fair hard."

She didn't bother to correct his grammar. "Neal will patch you up." She stood, he knees shaking slightly, and looked over to the rest of her group. When she swayed, she found Peachblossom there and leaned against his saddle. "No other surprises?"

"No, my lady," Marran replied.

"Whistle the others up. I need Neal to have a look at Tobe." She pulled her water bag off of Peachblossom's tack, and washed some of the blood off her face and hands. Peachblossom snorted at her, obviously unimpressed with the state of her. She patted his neck.

Neal looked from her to Tobe when he arrived, and she saw the whites of his eyes flash as he rolled them at her. Tobe had broken his leg, and rib as well, along with rattling his brain pretty badly. It took her friend a fair bit of time to patch the young boy up and then he turned to Kel. "Any of that blood yours?"

She looked at him slightly ruefully and nodded. "Not much of it," she said before gesturing to her thigh. "Just a slash. I don't think I need you to heal it."

Her friend snorted. "I shall be the judge of that, Lady Knight."

She shivered as she felt his magic delve her. Neal ignored her and then set about healing the slash. It wasn't bad, and she really didn't think it needed healing, but she didn't argue Being covered in unicorn blood couldn't be good for her. She was more annoyed about the fact that her favorite breeches were ruined. These ones fit just right, and were well broken in. Maybe a laundress at Steadfast would be able to get the blood out, but she doubted it.

No one else had suffered any injuries, and putting down the group of unicorns had been relatively straight forward. They gathered the bodies into a pile and set them alight. They didn't want to take any chances with unicorn fever.

They stayed in the small clearing until the pyre had burned down a bit, and then headed for Steadfast. With the ground being soaked, they weren't worried about it spreading. It was about an hour's ride to the fort, and if they hadn't been so close, if the moonlight hadn't been strong, they would have slept out. Tobe was nodding off as he rode, and, after a word from Kel, Neal pulled the small lad into his saddle. She would have taken him, if she wasn't still covered in tacky blood.

She thought, as she rode, trusting Peachblossom to carefully pick his way over the moonlit ground. She thought about the battles that would come, about the things that could happen to her over the next few months, about Dom.

She thought about Cleon, about how they'd waited for an opportunity that had never come, about the pregnancy charm she still wore around her neck. She was tired of waiting for something that she had no reason to wait for. Anything could happen, and she didn't want to go to the peaceful realms without knowing what it felt like to have that closeness with another person. She wanted to have that closeness with Dom.

With a grin, she made a decision, and urged Peachblossom to walk a little faster.

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**A/N:** Hope you liked this chapter! Let me know what you think.


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N:** There is an 'M' version of this chapter up, you can find it through my profile. I think it's worth reading. This chapter is an abridged version of that one, so there's some overlap. Regardless of which version you read, I hope you enjoy it! Please let me know what you think. Normally, I don't offer anything except heartfelt thanks for a review, but I'm willing to barter this time!

* * *

She reached up to Dom's window and tapped gently against the glass. After a few seconds of silence, she tapped again. Just when she'd been ready to give up, his window slipped open, and his familiar head, his hair disheveled, poked out. He grinned when he saw who had been tapping. "You're late, Lady Knight. We expected you this afternoon."

She smiled back at him. "Yes, well, we ran into a group of very frisky unicorns on our way here, and had to go and keep them entertained. We got in about two hours ago, but I had to get Tobe fed and settled in my room." And she'd had to wash. That had made her feel worlds better. She extended a hand, obviously wanting his help to clamber through his window. "Well? Are you going to leave me out in the cold?"

Dom grinned and leaned out to pull her up. The barracks for the Own were built with a few feet of dead space between the ground floor and the actual ground, to provide an insulating cushion of air. Luckily Dom's rooms were on the 'ground' floor, or she'd have had to wait until the morning to see him. Once she was back on her own two feet, he kissed her warmly, a gesture she returned. "Gods, Kel, it's good to see you," he murmured into her hair once they broke apart, his eyes glinting in the faint moonlight that shone through the window. "I'm sorry I didn't wait up for you. I traded for the dawn watch, so I could have this afternoon free. Once it got to be past dark, we assumed you'd been held up at New Hope or Mastiff and wouldn't be in until tomorrow, and I was tired."

"It's fine, Dom." She shucked off her quilted coat and deposited it on his chair. For all it was spring already, the weather didn't show it. It was still bitterly cold, even if it hadn't snowed for a few weeks. "If we hadn't been close to here when we tracked down the last of the unicorns, we would have slept out."

Dom shivered theatrically. "Much better to ride through the dark and sleep in the warm. I'm flattered you're giving up your much deserved rest to come and visit me."

She chaffed her cold hands against the sleeves of her shirt. "Stop being so… you. I've had a very long day, I just washed off a fair bit of unicorn blood, as well as some of my own, and I haven't seen you in weeks."

Dom grinned and opened his arms, which she fell into. "Gods, I missed you, Kel," he breathed in her ear. His lips found hers, warm against the chill she felt had seeped into her bones, and his fingers twisted into her hair. He pulled away just enough to speak. "How do you taste so good?"

"Shut up and kiss me, Dom." He did. She pushed him backwards until they could collapse on his bed and it was some time before they pulled apart to breathe and calm down. Dom stood, and she heard him moving around in the dark. After a few seconds, she saw a spark in the darkness and then a candle flame steadied.

"That's better," he sighed. "I can see you properly now." He sat down on the bed with her and brushed his finger tips across her cheek. "You were hurt?"

She shook her head. "Not too bad. Tobe got separated and knocked off his horse, and I had to go pull him out of the fire. Neal patched me up. My favorite pair of breeches are ruined, but Neal says I won't even have a scar."

Dom rolled his eyes. "At least my meathead cousin is good for some things. Anyone else injured?"

"Tobe needed healing. That's why I felt fine coming here once he was in bed. He was out before his head hit the pillow."

"You were the only ones idiotic enough to get close to one of the things?" With a rueful smile, she nodded. He tugged a lock of her hair. "You never could stand by if one of your chicks was in danger. Aren't you tired after a day in the saddle and a healing of your own, not to mention whatever fighting you got up to?"

She shook her head, even though she was. "I wanted to see you."

"I'm glad you came. Do you want me to find something to drink? I've got water, but I'm sure there's a pitcher of something in the common room."

She shook her head. "I just need you, Dom." Without another word, he pulled her close and started kissing her again. She didn't know if it was the setting, being in his room, on his bed, late at night, or the fact that she'd decided she really did want to do this, with him, but she felt like she needed to spell out the extent of her experience with men, which she hadn't actually done. "Dom, I…" she hesitated, trying to give voice to her tumultuous thoughts. "I've never…"

His lips pressed to hers silenced her. "I know, Kel. Your hints last fall about what you and Cleon had and hadn't gotten up to were about as subtle as a staff to the gut." Again, he kissed her softly. "We don't need to do anything you don't want to do."

She was glad that the light of the single candle probably hid the worst of her blush. "What if I do want to?"

His grin was obvious, even in the low light. "I would be lying if I said I wasn't delighted by the prospect." Her smile felt hesitant, but Dom's thumb brushing across her cheek tenderly reassured her slightly. She hoped he couldn't see every bit of the vulnerability she felt spelled out in her eyes, as she feared he might. "We can take things as slowly as you like, Kel. We don't need to do everything all at once."

"I'd rather just get it over with, honestly." She would have bitten her tongue if she could have had the words back, once she heard them in her ears.

Dom stared at her for a long moment, shock written large in his blue eyes, before he laughed, long and hard, struggling to stay quiet enough for the lateness of the hour. Once he'd wiped the tears from his eyes, he managed to say, "Obviously, the legend of my skill has spread far and wide, if that's the way you feel about it," before laughing again.

Kel smiled slightly before she, too, laughed. "Don't be mean, Dom. You know I didn't mean it like that." She pushed his shoulder with a hand, then was surprised to find her wrist gripped and Dom not laughing anymore. He pulled her close and kissed her again, her mouth opening under the persuasion of his lips.

For long minutes, her only focus was the feel of his lips on hers, the taste of him on her tongue, the rasp of his cheeks against the smoothness of her own. When he broke the kiss, leaning his forehead against her own, she struggled to get her breathing under control. "How did you mean it, then?"

His question caught her by surprise. Any previous train of thought had been obliterated by his kiss. "What?"

"How did you mean your comment about 'getting it over with', if not to malign my skill as a potential lover?"

She sighed out a small breath. "Oh, this is too embarrassing for words." Since he was only inches from her face, he heard her mutterings.

"Kel, if you're too embarrassed to talk to me about this, we shouldn't even consider going to bed together." When she met his eyes, she could tell he was sincere. Even though there had been no hint of humor in Dom's voice, she'd never known the sergeant to not be making a joke.

She supposed he was right. Even if she wasn't thinking about marriage, or babies, this was still an important decision, and if she didn't feel comfortable discussing her thoughts about it with him, he was probably the wrong man for her to be considering doing it with. With a sigh, she lay back on his bed. She might be willing to discuss this with him, but that didn't mean she wasn't embarrassed. "It's a few things, really." Out of the corner of one eye, she saw him wave her to continue. "Well, I don't want to get married, not any time soon, anyway."

Now she could hear laughter in his voice. "An attitude to do any member of the Own proud. I say again, you've spent far too much time with us."

She resisted the urge to stick her tongue out at him, barely. "Yes, well, be that as it may, Sergeant Domitan, it is still true. I've worked so hard for my shield, I don't want to be some noble wife, shut up in my husband's fief and expected to give him heirs. The work I do, the work _we_ do, it's important, and I'm not ready to put it to one side yet. I don't know if I ever will be." Dom's hand was a comfort, and she gripped it fiercely before letting go enough to play absently with the joints of his fingers. "I don't like the idea of being courted like some noble lady, having to wait until I'm married, putting everything _on hold_ until some day that may never come." She glanced at Dom, a slight smile teasing the edges of her lips. "And, well, I know you won't insist on waiting for marriage. I know you won't want to marry me, or think it's what I want."

Dom's smile was lopsided. "I don't know if I should be pleased or offended, Lady Knight." Now it was his turn to toy with her finger tips. "I understand that you don't see yourself wanting marriage for the foreseeable future, but it might be something you want eventually. I've seen you with your orphans and the other refugee children; you will be an incredible mother some day, if you choose to be." Kel could feel herself blushing again, trying to ignore thoughts of babies with her brown hair and Dom's blue eyes. He continued, and she focused on his words. "I want to stay with the Own. I know that I could get a position with the regular army, if I decided to leave; most of the lads that do go that route get good situations, usually with a promotion. There aren't too many command roles in the Own, just corporal, sergeant or captain. I think I have the skills to become captain of one of the companies, and Lord Raoul knows me, and my capabilities, well enough to one day give me that chance. Unless I think I get unfairly passed over, I'm staying in." Kel nodded. Raoul was a joy to serve, and she certainly wished there was a way for her to be directly under his command again.

"You'll be an excellent commander, and my lord would be a fool not to see it. If he could see my potential, you know he sees yours twice as easily."

"Don't be so self-deprecating, Kel. I'm not one of your strays, to need protecting." Still, he seemed pleased by her compliment, his thumb massaging her palm. "I was trying to say that I don't know how long I'll be with the Own, but I'm not leaving any time soon."

She knew what he was saying. "Dom, we haven't even… I wouldn't ever ask you to give up your career for me, as I hope you'd never ask me to give up mine for you. What if in six months time we find we don't suit? I'd feel pretty foolish if you'd resigned, only for things not to work out between us." She sighed, wishing she didn't have to confess her feelings like this, but he was right; if she couldn't talk to him, she had no reason for being in his bed. "I've had a crush on you for a long time."

One of his eyebrows arched, and she knew she was flushed again. Where was her Yamani coolness when she needed it? She thought, mostly fruitlessly, of a calm, clear lake, wind gently rippling the surface before the small ripples faded to nothing and only stillness remained. "Since when?" he asked, and it was like a rock had been thrown into her calm lake.

"I don't really know." She couldn't tell him that it had practically been since the first time she laid eyes on him. That was just too embarrassing. "Since my squire days, certainly. But I always thought of it as an unrealistic thing, just finding you handsome and feeling a bit giggly when you decided to flirt with me. I don't know how my feelings will develop, with the reality of this," she waved a hand back and forth between them, "whatever this is. I don't want to rush into something when I'm not even sure of what I feel."

Dom smiled, his fingers brushing her cheek. "I am flattered, Kel. I can't say I've been thinking about you in that way since Lord Raoul took you on. You were, what fourteen then?"

"Thirteen," she corrected. "I turned fourteen that first summer, when we were after the bandits and centaurs."

"Yes, well, I know I have a reputation, but I don't go quite so far as lusting after children, thank you very much. I suppose it took me some time to see you as a grown woman, for all your height. Neal and I used to share letters, you know, and the ones from his page days were filled with tales of a spunky young girl who never let an injustice go unpunished or vegetables go uneaten." She tried to fight her smile and failed. "I felt like I already knew you, once you joined the Own, and I'd promised Neal I'd keep an eye out for you. I always liked flirting with you, trying to make you blush or laugh, but it wasn't until you and that Kennan irritation were hanging about together that I really thought of you as a grown woman." Dom scrubbed a hand through his thick hair. "If I'd looked at that a bit more closely, I might have realized that my dislike of him didn't stem from brotherly affection for you. But it took me until you'd gone down south to face the Ordeal to realize that. The long winter, building your future command, and making a flag for you, gave me many hours to think. And some of the teasing I got hit a little too close to the bone for me to ignore. Of course, when you came back, I didn't know if you'd resolved things with Kennan, and we had other things to focus on." He sighed softly, then leaned back to join her against his pillows, turning her chin so that she faced him. "We don't have to rush. I'd be happy to just take things as they come, see how we progress on our own. We both know what we want for now. If your wants change, I know I can trust you to tell me."

She nodded. "I just don't want this to affect our working relationship, Dom. I enjoy working with the Own, with Third Company. My lord warned me, when he was my knight-master, of the problems women in command faced when they took lovers."

She could see the sparkle of amusement as Dom's eyes glinted in the candlelight. "What I wouldn't give to have been a fly on the wall for that conversation! Did our lord die from blushing?"

Kel found herself giggling. "Not quite. If I'd let him explain the mechanics to me, as he'd offered, instead of going to Mama, I think we both might have."

Dom's grin went from amused to wicked. "If you need any help in that direction, I'm sure I could prepare a thoroughly illuminating lesson."

She managed to smile while she blushed, struggling to control her breathing as one of his hands traced over her hip. "I've always felt I learned better through practical examples, rather than discussions of theory." Pushing her fears to one side, she closed the slight gap between them and pressed her lips against his.

* * *

In the quiet that followed, their breathing slowly returned to normal. Dom brushed her lips with his, then slowly managed to untangle their bodies. She winced, slightly sore, but happy. It took a second for her to recognize the sound of water. Dom was pouring it from a pitcher into the wash basin. She rolled over to watch him, enjoying the lines of his naked body in the candlelight.

He wet a wash cloth and passed it to her, apologizing for the lack of hot water. She really didn't mind. With a sigh, she stretched and stood, quickly cleaning herself up. Dom looked surprised when she started hunting for her clothes and getting dressed. "What are you doing?" He seemed confused.

She smiled, puzzled by his confusion. "I'm getting dressed. I really don't want to dash naked back to headquarters. I think the men on the walls would notice that, at least."

While she was trapped in the action of pulling on her shirt, strong hands wrapped around her waist and pulled her back into bed. "No leaving, Kel. I want to cuddle."

Kel giggled, but accepted his arms around her for the moment. "I can't stay all night, Dom. Soldiers are the worst gossips, and I don't want to be caught sneaking out of here in the morning. I've already pushed my luck with Tobe, being gone as long as I have. Besides, aren't you used to sneaking out of ladies bedchambers in the night? The reversal of the situation can't be too awful for you."

Dom looked surprisingly hurt by her statement. "You know, I didn't bring it up because you didn't ask, but my reputation is a bit exaggerated." She raised an eyebrow. "I am a flirt, yes, but I don't sleep with _that_ many women. I certainly don't sleep with the court ladies I flirt with, as they're all saving themselves for husbands, and I certainly wouldn't, well, it doesn't matter. There were many young widows after the immortals war, and, yes, I kept a few of them company. I've never even…"

When Dom trailed off, Kel tilted his face back towards hers. "Never even what, Dom?"

She had to ask him to repeat whatever it was he muttered. He cleared his throat and tried again. "Never even slept with a virgin before." Kel laughed, then clapped a hand over her mouth when he looked affronted. "I would never sleep with a girl who thought she could use sex to make me marry her, and well, those are the only virgins that tend to want to sleep with me."

Kel brushed his cheek with her fingertips. "Well, you were wonderful." She brushed a soft kiss across his lips. "Thank you." She sighed, happy. "I really do have to go, though. It's a miracle Tobe hasn't mounted a search party for me, with me being gone this long." She glanced at the one candle, which had burned down considerably. "Goddess, it must be two bells past midnight."

Dom sighed, but with one last kiss, he released her. "I wish I didn't care so much about your reputation, or I'd keep you here until dawn."

Kel smiled. "Yes, I'm sure Raoul's potential reaction has nothing to do with it." She slipped out of bed and pulled on her breeches before hunting for her stockings.

Dom observed her casually, his arms folded behind his head, his bare chest glinting in the candlelight. "You must be relaxed, to be calling him Raoul. Perhaps for that, he'd let me off with only a few broken bones. But I do see your point. Even the men of my squad would be put out. When I think of some of the things we did to that Kennan lout when he was sniffing around you during the progress, well…"

Kel looked up sharply from tying one boot. "What did you do to Cleon?"

Dom looked panicked. "Nothing." She folded her arms and waited. "Oh, nothing too extreme. Put nettles in his bed roll, stink weed in his tooth cleaning powder, that kind of thing. Just small annoyances, so he knew we had an eye on him."

Kel rolled her eyes, then leaned in to kiss him goodbye, escaping before he could drag her back into bed. Third Company really were a bunch of children. Dom would have to sort them out on his own, if they ever found out. She stamped her other foot down in her boot, then bent to tie it. With a sigh, she opened his window, looked out to make sure the coast was clear, then swung her legs into the darkness. She blew him a quick kiss before dropping the few feet to the ground, happy again that Dom's room was on the ground floor of the barracks, even if that ground floor was raised a bit off the actual ground. Sneaking out through a company of the Own would have been difficult; while she was good at sneaking through enemy territory, most of what she'd learned had been from them.

With a start, she nearly tripped, then saw the orange and white cat twining around her ankles. She crouched down to pet the creature, who started purring. "Psst, Dom!" She whispered as loud as she could.

After a second, the sergeant's head poked through the open window. "Miss me already? I do think a bit more time to cuddle would be appropriate." Kel held up the cat without a word. "Oh, Duchess. I'm surprised she didn't demand to be let in earlier."

Kel smiled and passed up the cat. Dom managed to deposit the feline inside and grab Kel's wrist, hoisting her slightly off the ground, so he could give her one last kiss. "Sweet dreams, Lady Knight." She smiled as she snuck back into her room in headquarters, fairly sure Dom's prediction would come true.

* * *

**A/N:** Hope that made some sense, and you liked it. If you've got comments, I'd really appreciate hearing from you, and if you want something in exchange(a teaser for the next chapter or something) let me know!


	14. Chapter 14

Kel was smiling to herself as she swung her glaive in a short practice dance. She already missed having Yuki to practice with, but with the passes open and fighting due to start at any time, she was safer in the south. Still, nothing would spoil Kel's mood today. Her body was sore, in new, different ways, and she was completely and utterly exhausted, but none of that seemed to matter. She felt wonderful.

Tobe and Jump had both still been asleep when she'd slipped into their room, and so far her young charge hadn't said anything to make her think that he'd noticed her vanishing act. Perhaps she really could keep things secret after all.

After her pattern dance was complete, Tobe fetched hot water and she retreated to the small dressing room to wash and get dressed for the day. Once that was accomplished, and the birds were fed, she and Tobe, Jump trotting at their heels, went down to the mess to seek out breakfast. They were halfway through bowls of porridge, studded with raisins and dried apricots and drizzled with honey and cream, when Neal plopped himself down at their table, looking a bit sorry for himself. Kel took pity on him. "Rough night?"

His response erased any pity she'd felt. He snapped out, "What has you so gods-curst cheery this morning, Mindelan?" before sticking his spoon into his porridge as if he were wishing it was a sword.

Kel glanced at Tobe, who rolled his eyes. "I'm awaiting my orders on a lovely spring morning. What could be wrong in the world?"

"Kel, have you even looked outside?" She had. It was, perhaps, a bit miserable to have called it 'a lovely spring morning'. It was cold and raining and the training yards were already turning to mud. That had been her reason for doing her pattern dance in her small bedroom. She shrugged, with a smile. "Your entire outlook on life disgusts me, Lady Knight. I feel it quite important that you know that."

She patted his shoulder. "Cheer up, Neal. We might actually get to do something actual knights are supposed to do." He shook his head and returned to pushing his porridge around in the bowl. Kel sighed and finished her breakfast. When he still hadn't made any effort to lift out of his funk, she decided to leave him to it. Better he be miserable here than on a battle field, where it could get him and others killed. He'd get it out of his system. "Don't forget, you need to report to Lord Raoul in two bells for your orders." She clapped him on his shoulder and went to see the man herself, hoping for good news.

When she was shown to his office, she nodded to her former knight-master, who indicated that she should take a seat. After a few moments of watching her, the big man spoke. "I suppose you've heard some rumors, to look as cheerful as you do."

"Sir?" Her activities the evening before, along with the prospect of a few weeks away from New Hope, had made it harder for her to completely mask her emotions, but she hadn't thought her former knight-master would notice.

"Imrah of Legann is coming north to help us out. He's a good, solid man, but he'll be wasted commanding active troops. He's good with the common folk, and he isn't some young buck who will do something stupid trying to prove himself. We're giving him your former command." Raoul handed her a sealed letter, and she took it, feeling numb, being given news she'd wanted for months and had had no expectation of receiving. "You're going to be based here, at Steadfast, with four squads of regulars to do your bidding. We want you to train them, Kel. We need more troops who are able to move quickly, like the Queen's Riders, but who are more able to act like normal soldiers in a fight. Capable of hitting and running, but also able to integrate themselves into normal companies in ways the Riders can't. When the fighting gets going, you'll be out in the thick of it."

For a few seconds, Kel was speechless. "But, sir, you'd said…" She took a breath and started over, noting the amusement in Raoul's eyes. "Thank you sir. I hope I can make you proud."

He stood and stepped around his desk to clap her on the shoulder. "No danger there, Kel. You always make me proud. There's a list in there," he gestured to the papers he'd given her, "of your sergeants. The rest of your men have today at leisure, but the sergeants know to expect to hear from you." Now, he hesitated. "The regular army is different from the Own, or the Riders, Kel. They have their fair share of conservatives."

She nodded. He wasn't telling her anything she didn't already know. "Yes, sir. I know I'll have to prove myself to them before they feel they can trust my leadership."

"Good. Well, I know Buri has said to send word to her to her if you need any advice, and I'll be available in the evening, if you need to chat. I'll leave you to it, then." Once again, she got a hearty clap to the shoulder.

She rolled her eyes, and in an odd display of emotion, she reached out and hugged her former knight-master. He hugged her back just as fiercely. "Thank you, sir," she murmured in his ear, before breaking away and exiting his office with a bow.

Jump had waited for her outside Raoul's office, and she patted her dog before setting off down the corridor, grinning as she went. She was being given a proper command! Of course, she worried about New Hope, but surely she would be able to see her people there not too infrequently, and Imrah of Legann had an excellent reputation, both as a lord and as a knight. He'd been Roald's knight-master, and the prince had had nothing but good to say of him.

She'd have to explain some things to the man, of course, especially when it came to her orphans. That gave her some pause. What would she do about the children still living in her headquarters?

As she emerged into the main yard of Steadfast, she gnawed a thumbnail in thought, and was distracted enough to be surprised when it was removed from her mouth. She glanced up into blue eyes bordered by wide, arched eyebrows and smiled. "Good Morning, Sergeant Domitan. Did you sleep well?"

She was amazed, and slightly gratified, to see a faint blush color the sergeant's cheeks. "Quite well, Lady Knight. Yourself?"

"Well, we didn't get in until quite late; trouble with unicorns, you understand. But once I was in my bed, I slept quite well. I've just seen my lord."

He fell into step beside her. "Did he have new orders for you then?"

Kel frowned at him slightly, and lowered her voice, even though no one was close enough to hear. "You could have warned me, you know."

His voice was equally low, though the yard was practically deserted in the freezing drizzle. "And force my esteemed commander to miss surprising you like that? Not a chance. I have other opportunities to see joy on your face." She kept her face calm and impassive, though it took some effort. Dom's voice returned to a more normal volume. "Come to the mess and have a hot drink with me. I've spent several hours in the freezing rain and need to warm up." He grinned at her. "I've seen my cousin, and he's moping about and isn't fit company for a Stormwing. We can see if I know any of the sergeants you've wound up with."

She glanced up at him sideways, through her lashes. For a moment, she worried; would he try and interfere with her men? Then she remembered, this was _Dom_. When she'd been Raoul's squire and he'd explained to her about natural commanders, Dom's name had been listed right alongside Buri's and Queen Thayet's. Plus, he knew her worth, as a soldier and commander. He might give her advice, but it would only be what he would give to any other warrior he liked and respected, helpful things he'd learned through his own mistakes, not condescending advice she neither needed nor wanted. "A hot drink would not be unwelcome."

Jump nudged Dom's leg, and the soldier stooped down to give her dog a pat. "Don't worry, Jump. I'm sure I can charm a bone off one of the cooks for you." He glanced up at her, and then rose, pressing a cloth into her hand. She recognized it as one of her handkerchiefs, one of the ones he'd given her at Midwinter, with her initials embroidered on in blue and cream. She fought back a blush. "You left this in my room," he whispered. "How many of the things do you carry? I swear I saw you pick up at least two."

She paused for a minute to think. She had one tucked into the top of one boot, one up each sleeve, two in her belt pouch and one tucked into her breast band. "Five or six, usually." She frowned at his grin. "They're useful!"

He grinned at her. "Of course, Protector. Let's get your dog that bone I've promised him."

He was as good as his word, and when they sat down with Neal, who was still pushing about his now cold porridge and sighing, they had mugs and a steaming tea pot, and Jump was happily gnawing his bone, which was surprisingly meaty for a 'scrap'. Dom clapped his cousin on the back and poured him a mug. "Cheer up, Neal. You've still got," he glanced at Kel and she held up one finger, "an hour before you go talk to Lord Raoul. And you get to listen to Kel's wonderful new orders."

Neal glanced up at that, at least. "You actually got new orders? You were convinced we'd be heading back to New Hope in a week or two."

Kel nodded. "I've been given four squads from the army to command. My lord wants me to turn them into something like a cross between the Riders and regulars."

Neal whistled, impressed. "That sounds like hard work." He nodded at the papers she was still holding. "Do you know who he's giving you?"

She shook her head, and broke open the seal. "I've never worked much with the regular army, besides the squads that have passed through New Hope, so they'll be new to me, I'm sure."

She arranged the papers so the two men, who were sat on either side of her, could read as well. She was pleased to note that these squads had been newly assembled. Some of the soldiers would likely have worked together before, but they wouldn't have the bonds that she knew men of the Own had within their squads. This was good, in that they wouldn't automatically see her as an outsider. She already had enough riding against her on that front, being a female, a noble and a knight.

Still, she was equally happy that she had a decent mix of new recruits and seasoned veterans of the past few summers of fighting. She hoped they would all have relatively open minds when it came to falling under the command of a female.

"I know Sergeant Breem. He'd a decent sort, though I don't know how he's going to take to being under the command of a woman," Dom announced. Kel kept her face still, for all she wanted to frown. "I think he'll be fine once he sees what you're capable of." She nodded, still reading.

She didn't know any of the names, but it also gave a quick overview of their backgrounds. All four sergeants had a good amount of experience, both during the current conflict and beforehand. The youngest was Gunnar Smithesson, and he was still twenty-three. Well, she hoped they didn't have an issue taking their orders from someone younger than they were, and if they did she was going to have to show them the error of their ways.

"I think I worked with Breem when I was Alanna's squire." Neal's comment was a surprise; Kel hadn't thought he'd been paying much attention, for all he'd been looking over her shoulder at the papers. "If he's who I'm thinking of, Alanna set him straight eventually, though she had to save him from an ogre before he believed she could fight."

That made Dom laugh into his fist. This was shaping up to be a grand beginning. She sipped her tea and flipped through the other pages in the packet Raoul had given her. She had letters of rights for supplies and equipment, the list of watch and duty rotations members of her command were expected to undertake at Steadfast, and notes about what should be included in the reports she would be presenting to Lord Raoul every week. She sighed, already missing her clerks at New Hope.

She only realized she'd been staring off into space for some time, while she thought about training exercises and duty rosters, when a hand was waved in front of her eyes. Neal was saying, "Don't bother, cousin Domitan. When our Kel gets that far away look in her eye she's fantasizing about armies of clerks. You'll never get her attention, unless you've got a scribe or two tucked under your tunic."

She elbowed him in the side, but managed a slight smile. She was glad Neal seemed to have snapped out of his mood, even if it was to make jokes at her expense. "Clerks are very useful. So is the very nice office I used to have. I'll have to see if I can get some space somewhere, as I don't think I can really meet with my officers in my quarters."

Neal's grin was almost back to normal. "Now that would send the court gossips into apoplexy. Though I don't know if they'd admit you have the stamina to handle four men at once."

Kel laughed and shook her head. "Yes, that might imply I could actually keep up with men on the battlefield, which is obviously impossible." She knew if Neal ever caught someone making such a joke about her, he'd probably rearrange their face for them, but she was glad he could at least find it slightly amusing to consider the ridiculousness of it all. Dom, however, was frowning slightly at his cousin. She resisted the urge to roll her eyes. "You're due with Lord Raoul soon, Neal."

With a start, Neal jumped up and, grabbing his still full bowl, rushed off. Dom watched him go. "Sometimes, he's a bit too insolent for his own good."

"Coming from you, that's a bit rich." His hand squeezed her inner thigh before she could push it away. "Dom," she muttered, "go sit across from me or something."

"Where would the fun in that be? No one is going to think anything of me sitting next to you and looking at some papers, Kel." His hand went back to her thigh. "Relax, Lady Knight. Now, tell me some of the grand plans you've got swirling around in your head."

She glanced at him sideways, but left his hand where it was. They were both leaning over the papers, so their closeness on the bench wasn't suspicious, and the mess was nearly empty, since it was still a few hours until the noon meal. "Well, I've been thinking about the way we attacked Stenmum's forces, when we were behind enemy lines." Part of the problem with this war was that the border was sprawling. If the enemy attacked without warning, they were back into their territory before the Tortallan troops could engage them. The Riders could move quickly, but they were more suited to dealing with bandits, not men trained to operate as a unit. "We need to use some of the same tactics, to harry the enemy until they can be engaged with larger forces, and to be able to keep up with the enemy while they're on the run. The regular army, as it is, can't do it, and it means we're always trying to play catch up."

For a good hour, they sat discussing tactics, through several cups of tea, before she sighed and stood, squeezing his hand under the table before she did so. "I need to send messages for my sergeants to meet me after lunch. Haven't you got duties you should be seeing to?"

Dom shrugged one shoulder. "Lerant lost a bet to me, so aside from training this afternoon and the early watch shift I did, I'm at liberty."

She raised an eyebrow. "What bet was that?"

"Well, I dressed Wolset up in a dress, to see if Lerant could tell the difference, from behind, between him and the girl he was trying to talk into his… well, it doesn't matter. He owes me three duty shifts, still, from that little wager."

Kel kept her face straight, with some effort. _Wolset, in a dress?_ "Is there anything you lads won't bet on?"

Dom's smile was mysterious. "A few things." She decided not to inquire. She knew they never bet on the outcome of a battle, for one, but anything else seemed fair game. "I'll help you find a corner you can carve some office space out of."

She smiled and offered him a hand up. "Thanks. Any chance someone owes you a clerk or two? I could certainly find use for them!"

Dom shook his head, and led her out of the mess.

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**A/N:** So, what do you think? Let me know!


	15. Chapter 15

Her office was fairly small, having been used for storage until Dom and Tobe had helped her clear it out, but she had two chairs across from her desk, and room enough for the other two chairs she'd borrowed from the large meeting room that Raoul used when he needed to speak to all of the officers and knights in Steadfast. It did have a window, much to the delight of her sparrows, who were nibbling seed from the bowl she'd placed on her desk for them. Jump, at least, had elected to stay in the yard with Dom and his squad; she presented a strange enough picture as it was, in the small room. The four men who sat in front of her were close, but not crammed together. It would do.

"Thank you all for coming." She gestured to Tobe, who was standing in a corner with a tray of drinks. "Can I offer you any tea?"

Since she refilled her own mug, her sergeants, after glancing back and forth between themselves, took her up on her offer of refreshment. She poured out each mug for Tobe to hand to the men, then dismissed him. The room was too close for him to be standing there. She had a feeling he'd stand just outside, but he knew he could go do weapons training with Dom's squad if he was so inclined. She hoped he was; she wasn't going to have the time to practice his staff work with him this afternoon.

"So," she announced, after giving the men a few moments to sip their tea in silence, "I am Lady Knight Keladry of Mindelan." She met each of their eyes, trying to see a bit of the man behind their eyes. "Our lord has asked us to create a new kind of unit, one with the mobility of the Queen's Riders and the discipline and ability of the regular army." She doubted she'd get any praise from these men if she mentioned the King's Own. Even mentioning the Riders was probably a stretch. "I do know names, but if you could introduce yourselves, so I have faces to go with them, I would be much obliged."

As they introduced themselves, she shook each hand. Breem Tanner squeezed her hand as if testing her strength, but she looked straight into his green eyes, which were vivid under his sandy brows, and squeezed back. An old scar, an inch or so long, slanted through his left brow. He was probably in his mid-thirties, and he was hugely muscled, looking more like a blacksmith than a soldier with those arms and shoulders. From when he'd walked in, she knew he wasn't that tall for a man, about her height.

Mavirim of Rhye looked to be in his mid twenties, and had hair as red as Merric's, which he wore long, but braided close to his scalp. The tail of the braid ran to his shoulders. He was slim and tall, possibly even the same height as Numair, or only an inch shorter, with a firm handshake that didn't try to test strength. His hair did give her ideas, though. She'd always kept hers shorter so that it wouldn't be good to grab in a fight, but his solution seemed just as good, and hers was getting longer.

Gunnar Smithesson looked younger than Mavirim, but not by much, and was about six foot tall, with olive skin, brown hair and brown eyes. His accent was pure Corus, though she assumed he had to have some southern blood in him, with that skin color. His handshake was neutral, but the look he gave Kel was not; she was being scrutinized as if she were a bolt of cloth, and Gunnar was not yet sure if he'd been given short measure.

The first thing she noticed about Whilam of Mathis was his hair. It was thick, chestnut brown and curly, with ringlets falling over his forehead and around his ears. He must have been in his early thirties, and his green eyes met hers easily, his easy smile revealed white, even teeth and dimples a court lady might have been jealous of. The man was tall, about the same height as Mavirim, with broad shoulders and a trim waist. He was certainly striking, though Kel found it hard to call anyone handsome when compared to Dom.

Once she'd shaken each hand, she sank back in her chair and took another sip of her tea. It wasn't green tea; she hadn't wanted to shock these men with the foreign brew, or the strangeness of a tea ceremony, so she and Tobe had made a pot of the strong, sweet tea the soldiers tended to live on. There was also the fact that her supplies of green tea were dwindling after the long winter, and she hadn't wanted to waste it on people she was sure would dislike it, or her. Still, the familiar was probably the better choice, in this instance.

"I understand from my lord that the men are at leisure today?" Nods all around. "By tomorrow evening, I would like for you to have inspected their gear. I leave when you do the inspection to you." They could choose to do it today, as a surprise the soldiers would not be expecting, or allow them to prepare. The sergeants didn't know their men well yet, and might still be trying to get their measure, or want to cement feelings of friendship. It would be their choice. "Tomorrow evening, I want reports on what needs repair and replacing. We've got the right to draw a fair bit from the spares, so now's the time to sort out any problems with gear. Tomorrow morning, you do what you like. From then on, we will be running drills in the morning, so warn your men. After the noon meal, I want everyone saddled and ready to go. I want to see how we move as a group, and what needs work."

She looked at each man before her in turn. "I know I can't do this job without you. I'll be watching, but I need your experience as well. If I ask for an opinion, I expect an honest one. We don't know each other yet, but we will learn quickly. I hope to earn your trust and respect, and for you to earn mine in return." She unfurled a map of the northern border, oriented so that the men before her could look at it. "Once we've had some time to train as a group, I plan on keeping us in the field as much as possible. We're never going to learn to do the work we've been assigned if we try and keep safe behind the lovely walls we've got here."

Her slight joke earned her a few grins. She gestured to the map, indicating Steadfast. "I want us to ride to the Vassa tomorrow, to see how we handle the terrain." The river ran along the Tortallan-Scanran border, from just north of New Giantkiller all the way to the sea, just north of her home fief, and here, at Steadfast, they were a scant three miles from it. "We'll have a poke about, see what there is to see and get a feel for each other. We've got to choose out men for the guard rotations we've been assigned." She held out the pertinent piece of paper to her men. "We've got two men on each of the four watch shifts, so if you could sort out between yourselves how you want to allocate those. I'll get tomorrow's morning and afternoon shift sorted out, but we'll need men on both night and dawn watch. We've also got a shift on latrine duty once a week, two in the kitchens, three on after meal cleanup and two on-call shifts, for anything that comes up." She pulled out the four copies of a rota she'd made. "I've sorted out which squad has what for this first week, but you'll need to choose out who from your squad does the jobs. Each week, I want the names of the men you've chosen out." She gestured to a slate she'd hung on her wall. "We'll write them there, so no one forgets. Any questions?" After a chorus of 'No, my lady', she nodded. "Dismissed then. I'll see you tomorrow, after the noon bell. If you think of anything, come find me. I eat in the main mess, or I'll be here."

Once they'd gone, she sank backwards into her chair. This was different from her command at New Hope. Yes, they had soldiers at New Hope, but Merric had overseen them. These sergeants wouldn't count that as proper combat experience for her, even if they had heard about her little Scanran adventure. She was going to need to prove herself all over again, and it would not be easy.

When she arrived in the mess hall a few hours later, having only realized the time when her stomach reminded her, quite vehemently, that it was time to eat, she was surprised to find Tobe sitting with Dom and another of the sergeants of Third Company. Qasim ibn Zirhud had been one of Volorin's corporals during Kel's days as Raoul's squire, but he'd been given his own squad the past summer, when another squad had been left leaderless. Kel had always liked Qasim, and he'd been kind to her since she first met him when she was a page. Nari and Arrow still remembered him from her squire days, apparently, as they fluttered from her shoulders to his to see if he had any treats for them. He did, and she smiled as she slid onto the bench next to him, settling her plate of food. "You spoil them, Qasim."

"Perhaps." Once the dried fruit had vanished, he brushed off his palm. "But it is a privilege to be able to do so. It has been some time since I've seen you, Lady Knight."

"Yes it has, Sergeant." Somehow, they'd never crossed paths since she'd been back in the north. She hadn't seen him since before her Ordeal. "How is your promotion treating you?"

"Well. And you are settling in to your new role?"

She raised her hands in a slight shrug. "We shall see. Speaking of, I've a favor to ask of you and Dom." The two men nodded, though Dom raised an eyebrow at her. "I'm taking my squads out tomorrow afternoon, and I want my sergeants to have tomorrow morning free for inspections, so I need to sort out watch shifts for the morning and afternoon. We've only got two bodies to cover at each. I don't mind doing one of the morning ones myself, but that leaves another morning spot and the two afternoon ones to cover. Do you have anyone that needs punishment work? If not, I'll keep asking around."

Dom sighed, theatrically. "Well, I suppose I can walk the walls with you in the morning if it comes to that. Qasim?"

"One of my men is in need of reminding he needs to take orders when they're given, not when he pleases. I can give him one of the afternoon shifts."

Dom winked at Kel. "And Wolset will always help if I tell him it's for you. There, shifts covered. What did you think of your men at first glance?"

Kel glanced at Tobe, sitting next to Dom, who was watching the conversation with interest. Had they not been in the public mess, she would have had no reservations about talking out her worries with these three. "We shall see. What did you and this rascal get up to this afternoon?"

A bite of food prevented Tobe from replying, even though he tried, earning a sharp look from Kel. Dom and Qasim laughed, and Dom took up the telling. "Your young man helped me drill my squad with spears. He's learned quite a bit from you these past months, Mother." After last night, it was especially odd to hear Dom call her 'mother'. She put that thought to one side, and another took its place. It had been almost exactly a year since she'd found Tobe in Queensgrace, about halfway between Corus and the northern border. It was odd how it seemed like more and less time had passed, all at once. "Tobe is an excellent listener."

Her young charge managed to swallow. "And you're an excellent teacher, Lady."

She reached across the table and mussed his hair. "Eat, you." His praise pleased her, as much as she didn't want to show it. She'd have to think of a present for him, to mark a year with her. An idea started percolating in the back of her mind, but she set it to the side for the moment. She had other things to think of. "Where's Neal?"

Qasim answered. "Last time I saw him, he was closeted with Duke Baird. I'm sure they'll be by eventually."

Tobe piped up, "Sir Neal's going to Northwatch for a month." Kel forced herself to keep her face smooth, even though she wanted to frown. She'd expected that Neal would be sent back to New Hope with the new commander, somehow. Yes, his healers were doing quite well at the camp and his presence would probably be superfluous, but the thought of only Merric between her refugees and a noble she didn't know was unsettling.

She took a bite of her dinner before responding, chewing the stew slowly. "I'm sure he'll enjoy the change of pace. When does he ride out?"

Dom answered. "He's going with the couriers in two days' time. My uncle has him helping to set up one of the field-hospitals for this season's campaigning." Kel grimaced. The thought of the wounded that the fighting would produce was not pleasant. Still, it would be good work for Neal, both as a healer and a knight. He had to be wanting to use the skills he'd learned as a page and squire.

"It will be a good posting for him." She meant that, even if she didn't particularly like it.

Qasim, not really knowing Dom's cousin well, changed the subject. "And you are making soldiers into Riders?"

Half her mouth quirked into a smile. "I suppose so. It will be a change from managing a refugee camp." She looked at her young charge. "Tobe, I'd like you to stay at Steadfast tomorrow when I take my squads out." He started to protest, but she held up a hand. "Other times you may come with us, but for now, I need for the men to see me, on my own. I can't have them thinking I'm not up to taking care of myself."

The pleading look in his eyes almost broke her resolve, but she couldn't have hardened warriors looking at her as a mother from the word go, and if she met them with Tobe in tow, that would be inevitable. Apparently, Dom understood. "You did promise to show Wolset that move you do with your spear. My squad is doing spear drills tomorrow afternoon, and I know you could teach us all a thing or two." He ruffled the lad's hair.

Tobe looked to her, looking slightly happier. "Would that be alright, milady?"

She smiled at him. "Of course, Tobe. Now eat your dinner before it gets cold."

He let out an expressive sigh and rolled his eyes, with a muttered 'yes, Mother' before turning back to his food. She followed his example.

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**A/N:** A shorter chapter, next should be up fairly soon. Thanks to . and idleness for looking this over for me!


	16. Chapter 16

She looked out at the forty men arrayed before her, split into their four squads. She wasn't one for speeches, never had been, but she knew they expected something from her. Her stomach churned, but she pushed her nerves down. "Good afternoon, lads." She pitched her voice to carry over the noise of the training yards. "I am Lady Knight Keladry of Mindelan, and we'll be working together to make a force better equipped to fight the kind of war we have. We will need to be agile, while still being able to stand and fight against numbers. We'll need to be able to harry the enemy as they retreat, hold them until other companies can catch up to us." She looked from face to face. "With that in mind, we're going to ride out and see how we move as a group. Tomorrow, the real work starts. Let's mount up."

Their eyes weighed heavy on her, and she wondered if they felt hers as strongly. No one spoke to her other than to respond to her direct questions. It didn't surprise her, for all that it was disappointing. Perhaps this was good for her, having to prove she could do a soldier's work all over again, but she wished she had at least one person in their group who knew her and accepted her capabilities.

Still, at least at Steadfast she had friends. She'd spent a few hours in the mess the night before, laughing and catching up with the members of Third Company, and then she'd gone back to her office to write out the training plans she'd outlined in her mind. Dom had found her there about an hour later, wedged a chair in front of the door and convinced her that there were more entertaining ways to spend the evening. She hadn't needed much convincing. Thankfully, when they'd finally slipped out of her office it had been late enough that no one had noticed them, hair mussed and giggling more than was seemly for soldiers. Tobe had woken up when she'd come in and frowned at her before telling her not to work so hard. She'd managed not to laugh before getting to bed.

That morning, she'd gotten up before dawn to do her exercises and then grabbed a quick breakfast before meeting Dom to walk the walls of Steadfast. She'd asked Dom why he was yawning so much and he'd given her quite the dirty look, which had made her laugh. He'd then lamented her forcing him to actually agree with his cousin that she was far too cheery in the mornings. After the morning watch shift, she'd practiced weapons and reading with Tobe, then gotten lunch before meeting her troops.

Kel spent the ride to the Vassa moving between the four squads, learning names and observing. It was easy to spot the members of her group arrayed along the game trail that led towards the Vassa; even through the thick tree cover low in the valley, the army maroon stood out. It was useful on the battlefield, but when stealth was paramount it would get them all killed.

Whilam of Mathis pulled his horse up next to hers when they were riding along the road that wound its way above the Vassa. She shifted Peachblossom slightly farther away when she caught her gelding eyeing his mare. The sergeant grinned at her. "Beautiful day for a ride, Lady Knight." She raised her eyebrows at the man whose curly chestnut locks were covered by his coif and helmet. It wasn't as miserable as it had been the previous day, but it was close. Rain dripped down on them from the trees, and their horses' hooves made sucking sounds as they lifted them from the mud. She shivered as an icy drip of water hit the back of her neck. "Well," he amended, "better than it's been most of the winter."

She couldn't disagree there. "Yes, Sergeant Whilam, much better." She glanced down to the swirling whitewater that coursed below them. "And the river is still too high to allow much crossing, which is certainly good for us." The sergeant nodded. "Are you settling in with your squad well?"

His one shouldered shrug was expressive. "We shall see. They're not best pleased with me after I decided to spring my inspection on them just after we left you yesterday, but they'll cope, I'm sure."

She suppressed the urge to smile at her dramatic sergeant. "Anything I need to know about?"

Another shrug. "It's all in my report, which I left on your desk before we rode out. I apologize in advance for my handwriting. Couple of my men need new bows and Seran Yarrussen is feuding with the laundresses, so, well, I wouldn't ride down wind of him, but I've told him to sort it out quickest." The man glanced sideways at her, seemed on the edge of saying something then fell silent. After a few moments, he fell back to ride with another member of his squad.

For most of the rest of the ride, she was silent, observing. Her men were fairly quiet as well, not chattering as she was used to when riding out with the Own. She watched, and caught the odd quiet word in the stillness of the wet afternoon. 'Trust a woman?' 'Unnatural.' 'Get us all killed.' She ignored it, just as she'd always ignored such comments. She wasn't used to it, or at least not to the point where it didn't hurt, but she was resigned to it, certainly. She would just have to prove herself to them, that was all.

She did find things they would need to work on. Twice she was able to come upon those out to the sides as scouts unaware. Four men, at least, had tack she didn't think was nearly clean enough. They certainly didn't operate as a unit, but she hadn't expected them to. They weren't a unit, yet; she would make them into one, if she had to drag them, kicking and screaming.

They rode back into Steadfast in the late afternoon, and she had her group dismount and gather around her. With a very slight smile, she announced, "Get your horses groomed and fed, and then we will meet in the common room of your barracks. You have half a bell. Bring all your gear, because we're having another inspection." The men groaned, but trudged off to do as they were bid. She noticed Sergeants Breem and Mavirim looking distinctly uncomfortable. Their reports should already be completed and sitting on her desk; she wondered how many discrepancies she would find.

In the end, she expected there would be quite a few, based on what there was for her to correct. Swords needed honing, chain mail needed scouring, clothing needed mending, bow strings were frayed. She sighed and looked out at her forty men. "You don't know me well, so this is the only time you will be able to show me gear like this and not get punishment work for it." She held up a piece of chainmail that was visibly flecked with rust. "This won't save you from a Scanran sword thrust any more than your tunic will. Tonight, my lads, we will be learning to clean our gear properly. The next time something doesn't meet my approval, you won't have the excuse of not knowing how I expect things, and you will be getting punishment work for it."

When she went out to inspect their mounts, while they were oiling their saddles, she had to call five men back to do the job again. To one man, Yassim Rathe, out of Gunnar Simthesson's squad, she said, "This is a disgrace." She brushed down the side of the horse with her hand, hairs and dust visibly falling. The mare was still flecked with sweat, and the trough that should have held water was empty. "Your horse is your life when we're in the field, and to see her treated like this is disgusting. You're on latrine duty for the next two weeks. If this happens again, well it won't happen again, so I won't even speak of what would happen if it did, are we clear?" The man nodded, not meeting her eyes. "Water her, now." If Kel had heard the cold fury in her own voice, she would have jumped to follow orders, too.

She spent four bells cleaning her gear alongside her men, even though hers didn't particularly need it. Still, an extra cleaning never hurt. She inspected each man's gear as it was cleaned, telling those who hadn't met her expectations to do it again. When swords had been honed and tack cleaned to her satisfaction, she stood. "This is the state I expect your gear to be in at all times. I won't have anyone killed under my command because they didn't take care of their kit. It's unacceptable, and I won't stand for it. Tomorrow afternoon, we're going to be entertaining the armorers while we clean and repair our chainmail. Tomorrow morning, we are doing drills from immediately after breakfast until lunch. You're dismissed. Sergeants, I'll speak to you briefly."

When the officers were the only ones left, she looked at each in turn. "I am not best pleased with the state of your squads' equipment. I know you don't know me, but know I will not stand for this lack of discipline. I will read through your reports of your inspections tonight, and we can discuss what I expect to be in them the next time tomorrow. If anything like this happens again, we will have words. I hope not to have to speak of this further." She looked at the four men in front of her. Only Whilam and Gunnar were returning her gaze. With a sigh, she dismissed them.

She ate with Tobe, Neal and Dom. Neal was leaving in the morning to go to Northwatch, and excused himself to get an early night. She hugged him fiercely and told him to take care of himself before she and Tobe retreated to her office to do work. She told Tobe all about the men she was commanding, and he scoffed at how she'd had to teach them to clean their gear then groused when she told him to fetch his slate so that she could give him some work to do. Still, at least he paid attention to her instructions. She was quietly seething by the time she'd finished going through her sergeants reports. If this was the level of discipline expected by the regular army, it was a wonder the Scanrans hadn't overrun the border two summers before. Dom dropped by with a kettle of hot water and she welcomed him with a smile.

The sergeant ruffled Tobe's hair and winked at Kel. "I think your lad had a good day with us. What do you think, Tobe?"

Tobe looked up from his writing and nodded. "I managed to dump Wolset on his rump twice!"

Kel suppressed the urge to smile. "That's very good, Tobe." She noticed Dom glancing at the papers she'd been reading through, noting what her sergeants had missed or ignored. She passed them to him. He read through quickly, his eyebrows going up. She sighed. "Yes, well, now I know how far I can trust my sergeants to keep me informed, which is not very far, and they know exactly what I expect from them and their men. I'm not particularly happy about it, but at least I know."

Dom nodded. "They're regular army, Kel, and they do things a bit differently from the Own. You've also got men who've never worked together before, and many of them have bounced around from task to task over the winter, being placed with squads only temporarily." He passed back the sheaf of papers. "I'm sure a few weeks under your eagle eye will set them straight."

She sighed and got out the tea things. While she arranged bowls and the tea caddy, she was startled by a knock at her office door, followed by its opening and Raoul's head poking in, but smiled at her former knight-master. "Sir! Join us for some tea?"

He came back a moment later with another chair, and she passed him a bowl of green tea. With a slight sigh, he took it. After a moment, he said, "So, I hear you've put your sergeants in hot water."

Kel grinned. How did he always seem to know everything that was going on so quickly? "And you gossip more than a fishmonger's wife, sir. I'm sure they were just testing me, seeing what they can get away with. I hope I've shown them that the answer to that is 'not much', but only time will tell."

Raoul and Dom both chuckled; Tobe was working on multiplication, with Jump sleeping on his feet, and not paying them any attention. "They'll still test you, Kel, so don't think you've seen the last of that."

She frowned at the older knight. "I swear men behave like half grown boys most of the time."

That made both the men present laugh, and the half grown boy look up from his work before deciding that whatever was going on didn't particularly concern him and going back to his slate. "It's how soldiers get to know their commanders, Kel," Dom told her. "If they don't know how you'll react to them, how can they trust you to lead them in the field?"

"You should have seen the mess I was dealing with when I first took command of the Own," Raoul added. She raised an eyebrow in question and he elaborated. "The King's Own wasn't the force it is now when I was put in charge. It was just something for younger sons of nobles to do, looking pretty in our dress uniforms while they hunted for brides. That's one of the reasons men in the Own can't marry. It was never meant as a force that soldiers stayed with long, and the marriage restriction kept the turnover high. When I got there, I started to shake things up, and people in the Own didn't particularly enjoy it. Twenty-five percent of them resigned in protest, and it took months for me to get those left on my side." He grinned at Kel. "Don't feel too bad that they're not convinced by you yet. I'm sure you'll win them over."

Dom agreed. "Even when I got put in charge of my squad, with men I'd been working with for a few years, I had to deal with this kind of thing. Of course, with me it was mostly practical jokes as they knew our commander well enough to know he wouldn't put up with any slacking with gear or training." He gave Raoul a slightly mocking half bow, which the commander returned.

Kel sighed, nodded, and made more tea. Everyone thanked her, and she took a moment to watch the men in front of her over the rim of her bowl. Raoul had sprawled out in his chair, his long legs stretched in front of him as he slumped down against the arm rests. Dom was sitting up straighter, though he was still relaxed, one ankle resting on the other knee, his tea bowl balanced in one hand, the other cradling his head.

It was interesting seeing the two of them so comfortable around one another. They'd always been friendly, though there had been that division, commander and commanded, elder and younger, which seemed to have evaporated recently. That was a puzzle she would worry at another time. For now, she just enjoyed the chance to relax for a little while. After sipping her tea, she glanced at Raoul. "You don't think I was too harsh, do you?"

That made him laugh. "Kel, the only punishment you handed out was two weeks with a day of latrine duty. I sure you learned your easy going nature from me," Dom snorted and Raoul flicked a few drops of tea at him, "and I'm sure you also learned to be strict when required. I think it was good that you didn't give out much in terms of punishment work this time. Now they will know what you expect, and won't have any excuses."

She nodded, absently. "I just didn't expect to find them so undisciplined." The two men exchanged a glance, which made her frown. "What?"

Dom was the one to respond. "Well, Kel, you're used to working with the Own, with men who have worked together for years, and with your refugees and other knights. You're used to how the Own operates, and you expected your refugees to be undisciplined. You've had a couple of army squads and your convict soldiers, but you didn't work with them that much, did you?" Kel shook her head. They'd been Merric's troops, from the beginning. "Things will be different with your squads. They're regular army, which is a different breed, but also they've been pulled together from different squads and units to be put under your command. You'll get used to them quickly, I'm sure, but you will have to get used to them, as much as they'll have to get used to you."

"Don't forget to get more inventive with punishment work," Raoul added. "We can get used to any task if we do it frequently enough, but the thing we hate the most will make for a much more effective punishment."

She found herself sporting a lopsided grin. "Lord Wyldon used to find me punishment work on heights." She still felt a bit green if she thought too much about Sundays spent pitching hay down from lofts or mapping courtyards from above.

Raoul nodded. "If punishment work is to be truly effective, it has to be something you don't want to do, at all."

"At the very least, it should eat into a man's free time. No matter who you are, you hate that." She nodded at Dom's addition. Both of them were correct. She moved to pick up a pen and make some notes, but Dom snatched the quill before she could grab it. "Oi! You can work tomorrow. I came for a conversation, not to watch you shuffle papers."

She rolled her eyes and sighed, but acquiesced when Tobe sidled up next to her, with a slate of completed math problems to inspect. She corrected them, then gave him some copying to do before settling in to conversation with Raoul and Dom, talking about everything but the conflict to come over the summer.

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**A/N:** I meant to put this up a couple of days ago, but it was my 10 year anniversary with my boyfriend on Friday, so I was a bit distracted. Sorry guys! Expect another chapter sometime this week.


	17. Chapter 17

The next two weeks went by quickly. Kel fell quite easily into the familiar routine of training. She found that the men she had command of treated her in one of two ways in the training yards. Either they acted like she was made of glass, liable to break at any moment, or they did their very best to break her. She did her best to prove both sentiments wrong.

After the afternoon they spent scouring chainmail, she noticed that their gear all looked to be in much better shape, even the things she hadn't watched them clean. She was glad that in that, at least, they'd stopped testing her. Of course, they found other ways. Orders were obeyed more slowly than they should be, or misinterpreted. She came to know what her sergeants thought of her, as well as most of her men.

Gunnar Smithesson had no trust for female warriors. Twice they went on training rides with squads of Riders, and both days he spent lamenting how the 'fool women taking up arms' would be the death of them all, when he thought Kel couldn't hear him. He questioned her orders constantly. At first, she explained her reasoning behind her orders carefully, hoping that he would see that she knew what she was about. After three days, she stopped bothering anything more than a most basic clarification.

Whilam of Mathis didn't seem to have any of the inherent dislike for her that Gunnar Smithesson had. He gave his opinion freely when it was appropriate and worked well with the Riders. He didn't look down on Kel for being young or green, and he didn't question her for no reason or try and batter her into the ground during training exercises. To Kel, he seemed almost too good to be true. He was even a good natured man, joking with the men of his squad and keeping spirits up even during the most dismal weather.

Mavirim of Rhye, the tall redhead with the braided hair, was blunt to the point of rudeness. The first conversation she had with him in private, the morning after spending a few hours in conversation with Dom and Raoul, was an interesting one. He hadn't wasted any time on niceties. "I don't care one way or another what equipment you've got between your legs. You're a green knight. I'm young enough to remember exactly what kind of mistakes green soldiers make, and I don't like the idea that I'm going to have to be even more alert than normal, to watch for the mistakes you're inevitably going to make."

She'd waited for a few seconds to see if he was going to continue before she replied, a bit shocked he was so direct. She was glad she wasn't sitting behind her desk, instead leaning against the edge of it, as her sergeant hadn't decided to take the seat that was available; he made her feel almost short, and she resisted the urge to stand up straight to claim every inch of her own not inconsiderable height. "I have more field experience than any knight my age, and I've spent a year in command of a large refugee camp. I don't think I'm in too much danger of stabbing myself in the foot with my own sword when I trip over it."

The man snorted. "You're Raoul Giantkiller's pet squire. That's why you've got this command. He's a fool who is allowing his sentimentality to cloud his judgment."

Now she did stand up straight, taking a step forward in anger. "I don't particularly care if you don't yet have faith in my abilities, but if you ever say another word against my lord, I will beat you from one side of the training yard to the other. Lord Raoul of Goldenlake and Malorie's Peak is one of the best commanders living and the only reason he would ever give anyone a command is because he had complete faith that he or she was completely capable of fulfilling his orders. Malign me all you like, but call him a fool again and I will make you regret your words." It was a surprise to realize that what she said was true; Raoul wouldn't have given her this command without having complete faith in her ability to follow his orders, and follow them well.

She was shocked when Mavirim threw back his head and laughed. "Maybe you won't get us all killed after all, Lady Knight."

Somehow, that conversation had smoothed things a bit with the prickly man. He wasn't polite by any means, and he certainly still watched for any mistakes she might be making, but he seemed willing to at least wait to pass judgment.

Breem Tanner wasn't doing her that courtesy. She frequently saw him having a quiet word with Gunnar Smithesson, both men with their mouths twisted into frowns when they looked at her. He didn't question her orders as much as the other man, but he looked like he wanted to.

She also got to know the men of her squads. She learned that Branal Grode, out of Mavirim's squad, was an excellent chess player. When she added Tobe to their training work, halfway through that first week, she learned that one of Whilam's men, Greesh Connarsra, had a son about Tobe's age and had quite the soft spot for her young charge. She learned that Franth Marrsin, one of Gunnar's men, loved to play tricks. When she found her soap had been doctored with itch weed, and herself covered in an itchy, stinging rash as a result, she put him on evening watch for a week, knowing the man loved to spend his evenings laughing with the other men in the common room. Secretly, she'd been almost pleased, once she'd seen the camp healers anyway. Franth didn't bother pranking you if he didn't like you, and it made most of Gunnar's squad accept her as a real part of their unit.

She did see their training together helping them to become a cohesive unit. The second time they rode out together, four days after that first ride, they traveled better as a group. The scouts were harder to catch out, and the men seemed more willing to support each other. It made her hopeful.

Things with Dom fell into a comfortable pattern. When she could, she snuck off to his room after Tobe fell asleep, though she was frequently too exhausted to manage it. Most evenings he would find her after she'd retreated to her office to have a bowl of tea with her. Twice he brought Wolset. Once he even brought Lerant, Raoul's prickly standard bearer. She and Lerant had settled into an eventual truce during her squirehood, and respected each other. Still, she couldn't quite call him a friend, and Dom later admitted that he didn't particularly like the man either, but had gotten sick of being accused of monopolizing the Lady Knight's time by the standard bearer, and had seen it as the easiest way to get the man to be quiet about it.

Kel did wonder if Dom's men had figured them out. Apparently, one night that she'd managed to slip into Dom's room she hadn't kept quite quiet enough, and Dom had been teased fairly mercilessly the next morning by Aiden, whose rooms shared a wall with Dom's. Seeing her lover blushing through breakfast had made Kel laugh along with the rest of Third Company's sergeants, but by lunchtime, the teasing had stopped. Dom was also looking particularly smug, which made her irritated and pleased all at once. She wasn't sure if she liked the sensation, and simply decided not to ask; if he didn't confirm her thoughts, she wouldn't have to examine her feelings too closely.

Two days later, when she sat down with Dom and Wolset, both men bore the marks of fighting, though she knew their squad hadn't left the fort, much less seen any action in the currently Scanran-free borderlands. Both brushed off her questions and when asked directly simply ignored her. Later that night, she snuck into Dom's rooms, her bruise balm tucked in her belt pouch. She'd finally emptied the jar Alanna had given her as a Midwinter gift her first year as a page, but when she'd mentioned it to the other Lady Knight when passing through Mastiff, the woman had sent a new jar with the next courier. Kel had appreciated it too much to protest.

After objecting for a few minutes, Dom finally allowed her to put some of the cream on his bruised eye and knuckles. When the swelling subsided a bit, he flexed his hands experimentally before thanking her with a kiss. "Dom," she demanded, "What on earth happened?"

He shrugged one shoulder and winked with his good eye. "Just lads being lads, Kel. I'm sure you're used to the insanity my squad gets up to by now."

She wasn't going to let this go so easily. If it had just been a prank gone wrong, or even a fight to settle some difference, he would have told her. She was certainly no stranger to the things soldiers got up to while waiting for fighting to start for the season. "I don't like being lied to, Dom. If that's all you have to say to me, I'm going."

She rose to leave, but he grabbed her wrist and pulled her back down to where she'd been perching on his bed. "Someone said something to me that Wolset and I found objectionable. It's not important, alright?"

"Someone said something about me? Of course it's important, Dom! Who was it? What did he say?"

He half grinned at her as he lay back against his pillows, his eyes glinting in the candlelight. "It doesn't matter, because he won't be saying it again."

She frowned. "If someone said something about me, I deserve to know what it was. And I won't have you hauling off and punching someone for calling me a trollop or something equally stupid. I learn to ignore the idiots, and so should you. Just because you're my, well, whatever you are, it doesn't give you leave to be acting as much the fool as the men maligning me."

Dom sighed. "One of the army men, not one of yours, mind, asked Wolset if his company could borrow you from Third, since we seem to be sharing you with regulars now. Wolset likes you, Kel, all of Third Company does, and none of us have ever put up with people calling your virtue into question."

She laughed; she couldn't help it. "And yet now my virtue is certainly very questionable!" Clamping both hands over her mouth, she dissolved into a complete fit of giggles, until tears streamed down her cheeks and her sides ached from trying to suppress her laughter.

Dom didn't look so amused. "The accuracy of the remarks made by the scum sucking bottom feeder was not really the issue here, Kel. Besides, being with one man doesn't make you a trollop."

Kel wiped tears from the corners of her eyes, fighting off the last remnants of her laughter. "Dom, it wouldn't matter if I went to my death a virgin; as far as the conservatives care, me taking up arms proves my slatternly ways for the world to see. I've long since stopped caring about those kinds of insults; they're easy, they take no skill and certainly no knowledge of me. Besides, why is being called a trollop even an insult? Men who behave similarly are usually applauded for their ability to win women's affection. I've always thought it was a strange double standard."

Dom sighed and pulled her down for a cuddle. She felt his lips brush her hair. "We men are jealous creatures. We assume that the thought of you being with anyone else makes you as crazy as it makes us."

She laughed, softly. "For all the time I spend around men, I'm really no closer to understanding you at all."

He pulled her even closer for a kiss. "Don't worry, Kel, we find you women just as mysterious." They quickly got lost in exploring each others' mysteries.

When Kel finally slipped out of Dom's room in the very small hours of the morning, she got a bit of a surprise. She bumped straight into Whilam of Mathis, slipping out of the room belonging to one of Raoul's many clerks, housed in the same part of the headquarters building as her rooms. She blinked at him for a moment, then continued on to her room. She shook her head slightly, feeling a bit foolish for being so mortified. She'd not been caught as red handed as her sergeant. At least she wouldn't have to worry about Whilam flirting with her; the clerk whose room he was leaving was decidedly male.

The next morning, after a particularly exhausting session working her squads with swords and bows, Whilam cornered her in the stables, where she was giving Peachblossom and Hoshi some attention. The man reached out to absently pat Peachblossom, and Kel managed to pull her horse back before he could bite. "Pet Jump, or Hoshi, if you're so inclined. Peachblossom doesn't have much tolerance for, well, anyone, really. Did you want something?" Everyone else had gone to get washed before lunch.

"I just wanted to explain, about last night…"

She held up a hand, slightly amused by the slight blush evident on her sergeant's cheeks, even in the dim light of the stables. "No explanation necessary, sergeant. What you do in your free time is your own business, so long as it doesn't interfere with your duties."

"I just wanted to explain, that it wasn't what you thought."

She sighed. "For that, you'd have to know what I thought, which honestly wasn't much. I don't know how much you know about me, but I grew up in the Yamani Islands. People desire who they desire. It's private, but it's nothing to be ashamed of. I know things can be thought of differently here, but that's my opinion on the matter."

The older man looked relieved and stooped to pat her dog, who rolled on his back to enjoy the attention. "You won't say anything, will you?"

She suppressed the urge to roll her eyes, barely. "You weren't the only one quietly sneaking back a bell after midnight. If you don't go talking out of turn, I won't." The look of relief evident in his eyes when he looked back up at her made Kel quite sad. "Whilam, honestly, I have no intention of saying anything to anyone, I swear it."

He stood, brushing bits of straw from his knees, before extending his arm to clasp hers. "Call me Whil, please."

After that, she found it quite easy to be friends with Whil. He'd already treated her with respect as his commander, but the secret she'd promised to keep had cemented his trust for her as an individual, and that made a difference.

By the end of two weeks, the days of training had started to blur together. They worked with swords, bows and pole arms. They worked at maneuvering in the woods and mountains around Steadfast, learning the lesser known trails that led towards the border. They tracked and hunted and drilled in formation. She learned the strengths and weaknesses of the different squads, and got better at making them work as a larger whole.

When Raoul called her to his office, wanting to send her and her men out on extended maneuvers, she had some faith that she might actually be able to follow out his orders.


End file.
